AA Meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
AA Meetings
Hi all,
I am looking forward to my 30 day chip next week but feel guilty and am not sure If my feelings are justified.
I have been attending meetings on average of twice a week as my schedule has allowed. I love the womens group on Sundays and I do take something from each meeting I can relate to.
I feel I am doing great, cravings haven't been very powerful, I'm adjusting to changing my routine, and getting out of the old ways. I have been reading the BB, AA book for women, and another AA related book. I have been learning the steps on my own through my reading and am STILL in search of a sponser since I KNOW I would be better served moving onto step 4 with one.
It is suggested we do 90 mtgs in 90 days and this is where my dilemma is. I won't reach that mark of 90/90. Am I cheating myself when I feel so great by not attending more often? How often DO you need to go. I've been living by the suggestion of taking what I need and leave the rest.
In another thread I had mentioned I want it all NOW. Yet I feel somewhat overwhelmed in reaching my goals. Is there a time limit you should make it through all the steps? Questions like these aren't answered for me in mtgs.
I simply feel guilty if I miss more than a couple of days of meetings. Yet I don't feel I need them as often as some people do. Then again our needs are different I suppose. Lastly even though I have remained sober will I truly deserve that 30 day chip? Yikes... what to do?
I tend to make things more complicated then necessary sometimes just another character flaw!
Thanks for listening.
I am looking forward to my 30 day chip next week but feel guilty and am not sure If my feelings are justified.
I have been attending meetings on average of twice a week as my schedule has allowed. I love the womens group on Sundays and I do take something from each meeting I can relate to.
I feel I am doing great, cravings haven't been very powerful, I'm adjusting to changing my routine, and getting out of the old ways. I have been reading the BB, AA book for women, and another AA related book. I have been learning the steps on my own through my reading and am STILL in search of a sponser since I KNOW I would be better served moving onto step 4 with one.
It is suggested we do 90 mtgs in 90 days and this is where my dilemma is. I won't reach that mark of 90/90. Am I cheating myself when I feel so great by not attending more often? How often DO you need to go. I've been living by the suggestion of taking what I need and leave the rest.
In another thread I had mentioned I want it all NOW. Yet I feel somewhat overwhelmed in reaching my goals. Is there a time limit you should make it through all the steps? Questions like these aren't answered for me in mtgs.
I simply feel guilty if I miss more than a couple of days of meetings. Yet I don't feel I need them as often as some people do. Then again our needs are different I suppose. Lastly even though I have remained sober will I truly deserve that 30 day chip? Yikes... what to do?
I tend to make things more complicated then necessary sometimes just another character flaw!
Thanks for listening.
Greatful Sober Biker
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Cottonwood AZ.
Posts: 521
Hi glad that you are getting your 30 day peice and is that in A A or N A where I come from you get a 30 day peice only in N A. I was just wondering that's all. just a sugguestion you should get a sponcer she will guild you through the steps. i know for me that I couldn't do the steps by myself I can't do it alone if we could we wouldn't need A A or N A so get a sponcer as soon as you can and let us know how you are doing ok. Ber Cool 
BikerBill8
BikerBill8
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Re: AA Meetings
Originally posted by Chy
I simply feel guilty if I miss more than a couple of days of meetings. Yet I don't feel I need them as often as some people do. Then again our needs are different I suppose. Lastly even though I have remained sober will I truly deserve that 30 day chip? Yikes... what to do?
I tend to make things more complicated then necessary sometimes just another character flaw!
Thanks for listening.
I simply feel guilty if I miss more than a couple of days of meetings. Yet I don't feel I need them as often as some people do. Then again our needs are different I suppose. Lastly even though I have remained sober will I truly deserve that 30 day chip? Yikes... what to do?
I tend to make things more complicated then necessary sometimes just another character flaw!
Thanks for listening.
90 in 90 is an excellent suggestion.But it's still just a suggestion.Go as often as you can,but don't kick yourself over missing one here and there.You will be working at recovery in other ways and it will become part of your everyday life.
As for a time frame on the steps,I'm not sure that there is one.The important thing is just to be making steady progress.Finding a sponsor will help,but you can keep moving forward while you look for one.Working the steps will also become part of everyday life as you learn to apply them.
Keep coming here and posting.That is another way of enhancing your recovery.It sounds as if you are right where you should be
phoenix
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Bill
Am pretty sure we get a 30 day chip in AA.
I am dragging my feet on a sponser since I haven't found someone I feel comfortable enough with. Hell, I think that should be a step in it self!
Am pretty sure we get a 30 day chip in AA.
I am dragging my feet on a sponser since I haven't found someone I feel comfortable enough with. Hell, I think that should be a step in it self!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
*****HUGS PHOENIX*****
Thank you! I feel better already, I am taking baby steps towards my recovery but what you said makes sense. So long as I progress, and this I know I am doing.
I love this place!
Thank you! I feel better already, I am taking baby steps towards my recovery but what you said makes sense. So long as I progress, and this I know I am doing.
I love this place!
Guest
Posts: n/a
Keep it simple and do what feels best and works for you!
It sounds like your doing well, working your program your way.
I was going to meetings with no real regular schedule for about 5 yrs before I actually went to 90 meetings in 90 days.
The only real reason I went when I did was just so I could say I did it. I'm glad I did the 90 in 90, but it didn't happen until it happened.
Congratulations on that 30 days! You deserve the chip!
Doug
It sounds like your doing well, working your program your way.
I was going to meetings with no real regular schedule for about 5 yrs before I actually went to 90 meetings in 90 days.
The only real reason I went when I did was just so I could say I did it. I'm glad I did the 90 in 90, but it didn't happen until it happened.
Congratulations on that 30 days! You deserve the chip!
Doug
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Hi Chy,
congrats on your 30 days! That chip is for 30 days sobriety, not 30 meetings, you deserve it.
It sounds like you're doing as much as you can and your willingness is a great asset. I don't believe that there is a time limit on doing the steps. If you're making an effort to start then you're doing your best. I like what Phoenix said about steady progress, I totally agree.
Amy
congrats on your 30 days! That chip is for 30 days sobriety, not 30 meetings, you deserve it.
It sounds like you're doing as much as you can and your willingness is a great asset. I don't believe that there is a time limit on doing the steps. If you're making an effort to start then you're doing your best. I like what Phoenix said about steady progress, I totally agree.
Amy
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
Re: AA Meetings
Originally posted by Chy
It is suggested we do 90 mtgs in 90 days and this is where my dilemma is. I won't reach that mark of 90/90. Am I cheating myself when I feel so great by not attending more often? How often DO you need to go. I've been living by the suggestion of taking what I need and leave the rest.
It is suggested we do 90 mtgs in 90 days and this is where my dilemma is. I won't reach that mark of 90/90. Am I cheating myself when I feel so great by not attending more often? How often DO you need to go. I've been living by the suggestion of taking what I need and leave the rest.
As for how often to attend...that'll be between you and God. If you need more, you'll know cuz he'll let you know.
In another thread I had mentioned I want it all NOW. Yet I feel somewhat overwhelmed in reaching my goals. Is there a time limit you should make it through all the steps? Questions like these aren't answered for me in mtgs.
So in that sense, you've got all the time in the world. There truly is no rush, as there's no finish line to cross. If you simply remember that nothing but thoroughness and honesty count throughout, then take whatever time you and God decide you need for each step.
I took 2.5 months on my fourth step alone, while others spent only a week. There's no race nor finish line, so no need for pressure at all.
I simply feel guilty if I miss more than a couple of days of meetings. Yet I don't feel I need them as often as some people do. Then again our needs are different I suppose. Lastly even though I have remained sober will I truly deserve that 30 day chip? Yikes... what to do?
As you proceed, this guilt, fear, and shame you are feeling will pass and reduce in size.
I tend to make things more complicated then necessary sometimes just another character flaw!
You're doing great, Chy.
Thanks for listening. [/B]
Bob
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Just like some of the other things we hear at meetings "90 meetings in 90 days" is a suggestion.
I can think of a dozen practical reasons why 90 in 90 is a good idea for the newcomer but the important thing is to make as many meetings as you can.
Peter
I can think of a dozen practical reasons why 90 in 90 is a good idea for the newcomer but the important thing is to make as many meetings as you can.
Peter
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
Chy
there is no time schedule on the steps, but you do want to make sure you have a firm foundation,
I had some GOD problems when I got to A.A. , so I got hung up on step two for a long time, I have seen people come into the program with a higher power allready and they can experience the steps often within the first year,
I have also seen clinics that help you do the steps in a weekend,
and I have heard people share that the steps for them worked out about one a year.
for me it was about 2 years total for the 12 steps.
take your time,and be thourough it could save your life, just go at whatever pace things happen at, they have a way of falling into place exactly when there supposed to.
there is no time schedule on the steps, but you do want to make sure you have a firm foundation,
I had some GOD problems when I got to A.A. , so I got hung up on step two for a long time, I have seen people come into the program with a higher power allready and they can experience the steps often within the first year,
I have also seen clinics that help you do the steps in a weekend,
and I have heard people share that the steps for them worked out about one a year.
for me it was about 2 years total for the 12 steps.
take your time,and be thourough it could save your life, just go at whatever pace things happen at, they have a way of falling into place exactly when there supposed to.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
Chy, you definitely deserve that 30 day chip! I too am suppose to be doing 90-in-90 as agreed to in my outpatient program. There is no way that my schedule will allow it. I started agonizing over this and found that it was bringing me down, which is counter-productive to my sobriety. I decided I would just do my best. After all, we are suppose to be progessing, not perfect.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi Chy,
As has been said above, of course you deserve the 30 chip. 30 days without a drink is a big deal when I didn't see a possibility of going even 30 minutes or 30 hours.
90/90 is just a suggestion but it's a good suggestion. I found that I had to change a lot of my old habits. I was told to change my playmates, and playgrounds and I think somewhere in there I told to play with different toys which meant that I had to go bowling or play softball instead of playing pinball or shuffleboard. In order to make these changes, I had to spend as much time with the people who had made these changes as possible. I didn't know how to make changes. I had to learn to follow suggestions and advice because doing things my way damn near killed me.
The program I work today is out of the Big Book but I can't take credit for the way I work the program. Very little of what I do today is completely my own because I live based on what I've learned from AA and the people in AA.
I was told to work the steps as soon as possible. Why, because I had a lot of crap I was carrying around with me and I couldn't realize much happiness and serenity until I did that fourth step, followed immediately by the fifth, etc. IMO it depends on a person's threshold of pain as to how long it takes to work the steps. The sooner the better. It was mentioned above to be thorough, and that's important, but I can only be as thorough as I can be TODAY. I can be miserable and go back out time after time, while I'm getting thorough enough to where I think I can do the steps. There is no time limit as to when to do them and there's also no limit as to how many times I can do the steps. If I do that fourth step right now and something pops up later I can do another one. Bottom line is to dump the crap ASAP. The guys I sponsor come over on a Saturday morning and by the time they leave Saturday evening have done through step nine. They have a list of character defects and a list of people to make amends to and a plan.
Guilt is an emotion generated by doing something that I know is wrong. If I haven't done anything wrong, there's no reason to feel guilt...even though some folks try to whip the trip on me. However, if I feel like I should be going to meetings, getting a sponsor, or working the steps and I'm not doing these things, then maybe the guilt is justified.
Follow your feelings. You'll know what you should be doing. I was told, "Easy Does It" but "DO IT."
As has been said above, of course you deserve the 30 chip. 30 days without a drink is a big deal when I didn't see a possibility of going even 30 minutes or 30 hours.
90/90 is just a suggestion but it's a good suggestion. I found that I had to change a lot of my old habits. I was told to change my playmates, and playgrounds and I think somewhere in there I told to play with different toys which meant that I had to go bowling or play softball instead of playing pinball or shuffleboard. In order to make these changes, I had to spend as much time with the people who had made these changes as possible. I didn't know how to make changes. I had to learn to follow suggestions and advice because doing things my way damn near killed me.
The program I work today is out of the Big Book but I can't take credit for the way I work the program. Very little of what I do today is completely my own because I live based on what I've learned from AA and the people in AA.
I was told to work the steps as soon as possible. Why, because I had a lot of crap I was carrying around with me and I couldn't realize much happiness and serenity until I did that fourth step, followed immediately by the fifth, etc. IMO it depends on a person's threshold of pain as to how long it takes to work the steps. The sooner the better. It was mentioned above to be thorough, and that's important, but I can only be as thorough as I can be TODAY. I can be miserable and go back out time after time, while I'm getting thorough enough to where I think I can do the steps. There is no time limit as to when to do them and there's also no limit as to how many times I can do the steps. If I do that fourth step right now and something pops up later I can do another one. Bottom line is to dump the crap ASAP. The guys I sponsor come over on a Saturday morning and by the time they leave Saturday evening have done through step nine. They have a list of character defects and a list of people to make amends to and a plan.
Guilt is an emotion generated by doing something that I know is wrong. If I haven't done anything wrong, there's no reason to feel guilt...even though some folks try to whip the trip on me. However, if I feel like I should be going to meetings, getting a sponsor, or working the steps and I'm not doing these things, then maybe the guilt is justified.
Follow your feelings. You'll know what you should be doing. I was told, "Easy Does It" but "DO IT."
Paused
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 18
Hello Chy,
Congratulations on your 30 days. That's great. I share the sentiment of the others that
you definately earned your 30 day chip. It's a milestone that we all celebrate not only
when we received it but when you receive it. I am happy for you.
The question of 90 in 90 is a suggestion only that has come about over time. As
SobrietyFirst mentioned, there was a time when it would have been impossible to
attend 90 in 90. There just weren't that meetings in the entire world. I do believe
it is a good idea to attend meetings as often as possible. There is a lot that can
be learned by attending.
I can appreciate your comment of "wanting it all now". I wanted the same thing. It's okay
to feel that way. All of the promises will come to you as long as you keep moving forward.
I wish you all the best.
Congratulations on your 30 days. That's great. I share the sentiment of the others that
you definately earned your 30 day chip. It's a milestone that we all celebrate not only
when we received it but when you receive it. I am happy for you.
The question of 90 in 90 is a suggestion only that has come about over time. As
SobrietyFirst mentioned, there was a time when it would have been impossible to
attend 90 in 90. There just weren't that meetings in the entire world. I do believe
it is a good idea to attend meetings as often as possible. There is a lot that can
be learned by attending.
I can appreciate your comment of "wanting it all now". I wanted the same thing. It's okay
to feel that way. All of the promises will come to you as long as you keep moving forward.
I wish you all the best.
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Ooooooooooooooo that 30 day chip must be getting close!! Please be sure to share it with us when you get it! And come over to the AA forum to share it! God knows I was excited when I got my 30 days, and will be excited again since I'm going to get it again!
You definately earned it
I'm going for 90 in 90 (and haven't lost that) but not everyone needs it. I'm just one of those drunks who does need it.
WTG Chy!!
You definately earned it
I'm going for 90 in 90 (and haven't lost that) but not everyone needs it. I'm just one of those drunks who does need it.
WTG Chy!!
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Recovering mentioned "The Promises" and I thought I would post the Promises from the AA Big Book as it is some beautiful literature.
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we
could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They
are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we
work for them."
"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we
could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They
are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we
work for them."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
As always you guys are just the best! I am looking forward to that chip in two days and am like a kid at Christmas who so desperatly wants that special toy.
I finally found a sponser and she was very helpful today. As you all have suggested it is best to take my time so long as I am working the steps. I think she will be good for me as she says she won't allow me time to procrastenate working the steps, yet it may take time since she is extremly thourough and wants me to have a deep understanding of the details of each step.
She only smiled when I had explained "I thought I HAVE completed step 3", and hugged me and said "We'll start over tomorrow"
Thanks again everyone, I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ , there's no place like home here and in the rooms of AA.
I finally found a sponser and she was very helpful today. As you all have suggested it is best to take my time so long as I am working the steps. I think she will be good for me as she says she won't allow me time to procrastenate working the steps, yet it may take time since she is extremly thourough and wants me to have a deep understanding of the details of each step.
She only smiled when I had explained "I thought I HAVE completed step 3", and hugged me and said "We'll start over tomorrow"
Thanks again everyone, I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ , there's no place like home here and in the rooms of AA.
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