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Trying again, start of day 2.

Old 09-25-2007, 06:12 AM
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Thumbs up Trying again, start of day 2.

Hi all, yeah I'm starting yet again another campaign to attempt to stop the booze. Going to try to avoid all the triggers and just remember WHY I'm doing it *to improve my lifestyle, happiness and health*... anyone have any suggestions *I'd be glad to hear several* on what I should do while I'm on this campaign that could assist me in not drinking/smoking anymore? Would just love to hear it, thanks.
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Old 09-25-2007, 06:29 AM
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Paulos I will share with you what the doctor who is a specialist in addicitons & alcoholism told me.

He told me to continue to smoke until I was alcohol free for a year, then quit smoking, he said that to try quitting both at the same time could result in failure for both.

Well I listened to him, I have not drank in over a year and have not smoked for a week today.

Here is another suggestion that may help with not drinking, every time you even think about a drink get on line here at SR or any other site on the net that alcoholics help each other in recovery.

I could not quit on my own, it took me asking for the help of others and doing the things they suggested to do for me to get and stay sober.
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:13 AM
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Hm, ok, but the problem is doing one of them usually resulted in oozing into the next bad habit. Example if I had a few beers I'd say "Lemme have a smoke yeaaa", and if I had a smoke I would say "I should have a beer, yeaa..." ...lol, it's sick I know.
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:41 AM
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Hi Paulos,
different people react differently - I was just like you, I had to stop smoking and drinking at the same time. The two were so linked together for me, I just knew it had to be like that. I've "slipped" a couple of times with the smoking since then, and every time, suddenly my drinking-sobriety has felt a hell of a lot less solid.

And as for the rest - agree with Tazman. It can really help to do this with others. It's like training for a sports event - it's a lonely road if you have to do it all alone. "Campaign" is a tricky word - a lot of people have found that if you think about sobriety as a fight, or a war, it can make it more difficult.

Maybe it's like playing golf - be focussed and determined, but relaxed... Another sports analogy! Don't know where they're all coming from.

Good luck, and keep posting!
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:51 AM
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Paulos do you live in a brewery?

If you do not buy beer, you will not have beer.

There are several easy steps to not drink:

1. Get rid of all booze in your house. (You do this)
2. Do not go to the store to buy beer.
3. Do not go to a bar to drink beer.
4. Do not let a frieind or relative bring you beer.
5. Do not pick up a beer.
6. Do not open a beer.

These are all things that are very simple and if you want to stop drinking more then you want to drink you can do.

Print out what not to do, make copies, tape a copy on very door in your house where you have to see it before you go anywhere.

Wrap all your money in a copy of the do not do list.

The only person who can get Paulos drunk is Paulos!

Here is a great to do list.

1.When ever you light a cigarrette get on SR and read about how alcoholism kills and tell people you do not want to drink.
2. When ever you think about having a drink read the do not do list and then get on SR and read about how alcoholism kills and tell people you do not want to drink.

Easy to do Paulos if you REALLY want to stop.

I would suggest going to a support group but I know from talking to you in the past that is not an option for you.
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:24 AM
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Yeah nolonger you're right, and taz I'm sorry to say I live in a alcoholic scene, my mother drinks a lot so there is wine/beer that I have access to. Is it wrong morally for me to fail so easily because the alcohol is just right in front of me?
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:48 AM
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Is it wrong morally for me to fail so easily because the alcohol is just right in front of me?
First, I wouldn't confuse drinking with moralilty. We have a disease.

Second, yeah, that is kind of a cop out. There's bars and liquor sstores all over. As well as beer commercials on TV.

If you want to quit drinking, you have to want to quit drinking. You have to want it a lot. If you don't, any excuse will work, because you don't want to quit.
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:55 AM
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Glad to see you are trying again....
Pray....even if you do not believe

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference"

Say that each time you want to drink
over and over until the urge abates.

Blessings
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:12 AM
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Is it wrong morally for me to fail so easily because the alcohol is just right in front of me?
As Glassprisoner said, alcoholism is not a morality issue, it is a disease.

Paulos let me ask a simple question, I am powerless over alcohol, are you?
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Old 09-25-2007, 11:43 AM
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Smoking is deadly so I think it is a good idea to give that up along with fighting the crippling illness of alcoholism. But as others have said, it may be easier said than done. Nothing is impossible when you choose to live the wonder of life rather than the slow suicide that our addictions promise.
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Old 09-25-2007, 01:33 PM
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Wow already had an urge, amazin'... but didn't do anything, which is a good sign... was almost like an ache to want to drink/smoke. I don't think I'm powerless over alcohol Taz, but I sure struggle with it.
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Old 09-25-2007, 01:42 PM
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In the case of the urge it was like uh... an EXCITEMENT just waiting to explode to get a drink/smoke...
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Old 09-25-2007, 05:10 PM
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Yes, I know that feeling. Urges. I was so powerless over those urges. Before my last drink in 2004, I got the urge to drink every day. My willpower not to drink only lasted a few days. Not until I change my thinking and I surrounded and decided to go to any length, that’s when change became possible. I had to Face the fact, I was powerless over alcohol, people, places and things.


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Old 09-26-2007, 03:49 AM
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Hey Paulos -

I don't have any great tips or tricks other than wanting it.

I want so much to see you come through this. It's harder when the alcoholic drank at home. At least, that's my unsolicited conclusion.
I didn't. I drank everywhere else.
My home isn't a trigger for me.
It's my ... lair ... my safehaven.

What would help make your house/room/whatever your fortress? Instead of a trap>?
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Old 09-26-2007, 04:30 AM
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I don't think I'm powerless over alcohol Taz, but I sure struggle with it.
Paulos can you drink one beer today and not have another?

Can you not drink for a week? A year?

Can you drink 1/2 a beer and leave the rest?

I can not do any of the above.

I know I can not drink like other people, I am an alcoholic.

Paulos as long as you beleive you have power over alcohol you will not stop drinking.
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Old 09-26-2007, 05:07 AM
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I think every addict goes through the "testing" phase even before they really quit for good. I did it.
i would say such things as:
"Ok, I'm not going to drink for a week" and I could actually do it, but most of that week was spent thinking about when that week was up. In my mind.. goal ackomplished I didn't have a problem.
This is where the addictors are tricky little devils:

Paulos can you drink one beer today and not have another?

Can you not drink for a week? A year?

Can you drink 1/2 a beer and leave the rest?

I can not do any of the above.

I know I can not drink like other people, I am an alcoholic
Taz, I see where you are coming from with the above, and hopefully without raising any controversey I can answer these for myself which might help Paulos.

I could stop drinking for any amount of time I set my mind to
I could and have (not in last almost 8 mos though) drank 1/2 beer (even a sip maybe) and leave rest, depending on the day
I could go 2 days, 2 weeks, but here was the kicker.. each time I was setting my own stage because I was "testing" myself.
If I stopped drinking for 2 days, 2 weeks or whatever, my only focus was on that beer I would have when the 2 days or 2 weeks was up.
If I took just a sip or half of the beer, mentally my mind was focused and stuck on the other half of beer I DID NOT drink..
For me that was the tricky sticky part of this.
It was only when I said.. damn even though I'm not drinking it's all I can think of that I said..this is it.. I have got a problem that I could really tell myself I was an alcoholic.
Like most, I thought I would just go it alone.. again in my mind.. I quit before without help, I'll do it again.
Well it doesn't matter what recovery program you work or don't work, MOST of us cannot simply GO IT ALONE. I knew I couldn't. I might have taken a different road than AA but my committment and need of support is the same "I have the desire to stay stopped"
For me my real recovery began by telling my doctor and being completely honest with him. I then told my parents, my xhb and even my two girls. This was another obstacle for me because my family and close friends never really thought of me as having a problem and they still don't, what they don't understand is just because I did not get drunk every night, just because I wasn't a mean drinker, doesn't mean I didn't have a problem.. I got connected with a great therapist and then a group therapy and behavior therapy group and focused on MYSELF.. Not what everyone else thought. I got more out of therapy than I had AA mostly because I learned I was an addict LONG before I took a drink or popped a single benzo. I was an addict for as long as I can remember. Once I learned as much as I could about how addiction is NOT just about the addictors I was well on my way of establishing a recovery plan for me. But no way could I do it alone. My group is probably to me what most AA groups are to you. I can call any of them any time, we go out after meetings, we get together on days off, etc. We most recently added a day of week where we are getting together unsupervised to learn more about addiction and create plans to avoid relapse or slipping.

For me I could never and still can't identify what "normal" drinking is. I just know I can't do it but it was more than just stopping .. I had to completely change the way I thought, identify what made me tick and go forward with changes.
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Old 09-26-2007, 06:48 AM
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Doingwell I agree with what you are saying completely, before I crossed that line where I had no choice but to drink every day I could have done those things, but not consistantly and the mental obsession ate me alive until I had "Passed" the test!
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