soberscot

Hi all,

I have been sober since my hospital stay on the 18th of August. I have yet to attend an AA meeting.

I have an alcohol councilor who is great and has suggested AA or their (councilor's) own support group but I am unsure.

I am not religious at this moment (my family are Catholic though) and I am worried I may find trying not to drink and the possibility of religion forced upon me just too much.

I have no problem with those who have a faith and who knows maybe I will practice faith again someday so please don't be offended.

I guess I need to know what to expect at a meeting and what is expected of me?

Dave

GlassPrisoner

I went to de-tox, and I didn't do what they recommended afterwards. (Which was go to AA.) I made it about 6 weeks, then I had the worse relapse ever.

That was about a year ago, I finally did go to AA and it does work.

And, BTW, AA is in no way, shape or form a religion. Yes, we are spiritual, but we are the farthest thing removed from organized religion that you will ever see. As a matter of fact, our pre-amble says "A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution...."

Try it, you'll be pleasantly surprised. I was.

Jfanagle

Dave,

Congratulations on the time so far without a drink. Keep up the good work!

I have spent the last 8 years in AA and it has kept me sober. I am not religious today and wasn't when I went in the doors 8 years ago. I have found a spiritual approach to life that is mine alone and has been developed slowly over time. It does not involve religion or even what seems to be a "standard" conception of a God. It works for me and that is enough.

As to what you will find: All sorts of folks, some fantastic and some as crazy as bedbugs! They will all have 1 thing in common with you and that is that they share a problem with alcohol. Let that be enough and remember that like the proverbial Smorgasbord, take what you want and leave the rest. In other words, some of the things you hear and the advice you are given will make sense and apply to your continued quest to stay sober and other "suggestions" will be a little far out there.

If I may suggest this. Sit quietly and watch and listen to those in the meetings. After a period of time and a few meetings you will see and hear people who have a view and describe a life that is what you want. When you see those folks go up to them after the meeting and introduce yourself and ask them what they did and what they continue to do, that has given them their life. THEN PROCEED TO DO WHAT THEY DID!!

I have a fantastic life and my reliance on AA and that spiritual concept that I use has give that life to me.

Try AA, if after some time it doesn’t suit you then you can always return to your current program.

Jon

mike_mass

Scot,

I came into AA as an agnostic Catholic myself. Never had anything religious forced down my throat at meetings. I have gained some faith in the program, but that has been at my own pace.

I would give it a try, what do you have to lose?

Mike

Doug

You can expect other people in similar situations, some will say things that you swear came out of your own head. And nothing will be expected of you. Don't have to say a word if you're not comfortable. Walk in, grab a coffee, or pop, or water, sit down, and just listen.

soberscot

Thanks for the quick replies, I am gonna give it a shot. Hell what's the worst that can happen, I don't like it and leave. Judging by others stories on the forum I think it will be a good thing overall.

I am doing OK without the drink, I think its the thought of what will happen to me, or rather my liver if I drink again...........

There are quite a few meetings in my area so after this weekend I will go along. I would go this weekend but I am visiting my Mum.

I was not a drinker that got up in the morning and HAD to drink but come the evening I pretty much depended on it. The worse part was after I started I couldn't really stop until I had drank everything in my house. Sometimes I think maybe I could control it once my liver is better......

You guys all know the lines, I will just have a couple of drinks etc etc.

I will let you all know how it goes

CarolD

Here is what to expect in AA meetings

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

Glad you are sober...Congratulations!

snowgoose

I like what Mike Mass said about faith coming at his own pace. Same happened for me, and I was worried, too, about being told what to believe in AA. Did NOT happen. I think it is good to realize that someone might at some point try to tell someone else what to do regarding religion, but it is not supposed to happen. But there are sick people in AA just as in the population in general, so I always feel it fair to say you might run into anything.... but I didn't.

I am a highly agnostic person who is also highly spiritual. I am not particularly religious, though. ("Live and let live", regarding religion.) When I came into AA, my spirituality was very sick and quite distant. It turns out that is common. In order to work the program, I had to accept that there was a power greater than myself which/who would help me when asked. Some people make that the power of the group; some make it a doorknob. I've read other good suggestions here on SR. Gradually, that became my Higher Power, very much undefined. My spirituality is very simple. I don't care to intellectualize it although I am an intellectual. BTW, some call me a recovering Catholic, hee hee. I did grow up in that religion.

Just wanted to give you my take on the whole thing, in case it might help. I love AA because every day I am impressed with its wisdom. And I wasn't getting sober by myself - it took AA.

Best from the Snowgoose.

soberscot

Do people decide on one meeting at one place that runs maybe once or twice a week or do they go to a meeting everyday in different places? There are lots of meetings in my general area but only two per week in the one town.

CarolD

I got sober in a city....all sorts of meetings and times.

For about 3 months I went to one each day
then settled into the one I found 'fit' me best.

Yes...I did go everyday before work and on
weekends too. They make me feel better.
I consider Meetings are a classroom
for sober living and wanted to learn quickly.

Just go and see what works out for you

nolonger

Hi Dave,
give it a go - like you say, you've nothing to lose. AA is not a religion, though you'll find a lot of religious themes and attitudes coming up.

But more than anything else, you'll find a deep well of knowledge of what alcoholism is like - the dirty, nasty reality of it, the million ways it f***s you up, and... what you can do about it. "Experience, strength and hope" is what they call it, and you don't have buy into (or even read) the Big Book to benefit from it.

Let us know how you get on and what you make of it.

have a good w/e,
NL

DoingWell

We have a couple of people in my group therapy meeting that actually do both.
(therapy and NA/AA)

GlassPrisoner

That, is the textbook definition of "Powerless over Alcohol". I was the same way. And, if I could leave it alone for a while, all I would do would be to obsess where and when my next drink would come.

Raineydae

Hi there, Dave. Good to have you posting on the boards.
I liked what you said:
That is exactly how I feel. It sounds like you already have the beginnings of a good solid step one. 80% of the time (I have been sober for 8½ months now) I feel OK too. Then, when I don't & sense that the old feelings and desire to drink are back, I remember what will happen if I start again. I too would drink everything in my house (unless I passed out first)! It happened all the time. Why would it be any different if I tried again? The truth is, it wouldn't.
As for AA. I am actually skiving a meeting tonight to go out with my partner and I'm sure my dear sponsor will be on my case when we meet on Tuesday but, don't take that as if I haven't found it helpful. I would've drunk again by now, I'm sure without the help of my new friends. Some of them are religious & some aren't. I struggled with God as I understood Him at first until I came to understand that we are all just playing our parts in a bigger picture and to just let go & let it/life happen. For me that is doing God's Will.
Much Love, RaineyDx

soberscot

There is a meeting on Monday @ 20:00 so I am off to that, I was meant to be visiting my Mum today but my partner never finished work in time. If I had known this before hand I would have gone to a meeting tonight.

Not to worry, Monday is around the corner and I am coping OK tonight so no problems.

I was actually talking to my Mum today and remembering what my Dad was like..... I don't know how he is still alive I mean some days he could and probably still can, get through 2.5 L of whisky. He and my Mum split and we don't speak. He has no desire to stop drinking and I can't deal with that. My childhood was ruined by his drinking. I don't want my life to be the same.

Its strange now looking back on how bad I had become, I thought I was still in control but I obviously was not. I could easily drink 8 - 10 large cans of Beer or sometimes even 24 bottles of Millers. If I was still awake I would then polish off what my partner had left in the fridge. She used to get so mad when she came home next day and her wine was gone.

Some nights I would start drinking at say 19:00 and not stop until maybe 5:30 in the morning.

Dave

Raineydae

That sure sounds familiar.

I used to start in my local bar at 19.00 then have my friend, the barmaid, pour out 2 litres for me to take home. Then, just to be sure I'd have some extra in. I would struggle to bed often at aroud 5.00 or 6.00. Once I was sick and had to wash & blow dry my hair first. I was totally out of it but I knew I couldn't go to sleep with sick in my hair! Jeez, the stuff we do. But today it is different. I am sitting writing this to you with a cup of Camomile tea & I am about to go to bed.