problemchild

I blew it and drank yesterday,wife came back also and i guess some people on here are right on target with me. I am just miserable and a bit hateful when i am sober at times, but geezzz it takes a little while to get better, right ? Or am i in a bad place in recovery and really not working it?
I feel i am trying to do it right (except for yesterday) i just get mood swings.
Hangovers really stink and i thought i was threw with this crappppp......

John

Tazman53

PC just keep in mind that today is a new day, add something new to what you were doing to stay sober, ask your self what was I not doing to stay sober that I am willing to do now to stay sober?

The longer you stay sober the less the irratability will be as long as you are not just white knuckling it. Find something that will help you change yourself and keep you busy.

problemchild

Tazman, i know exactly why i did not stay sober yesterday, i drove my dumb butt straight to the store bought a case and said to hell with it. I wish i knew why i did not call someone our log on to this site, funny thing is i had overwhelming guilt the whole trip to and from the store. I want to change me i love being sober and feeling good but it is a emotional rollercoaster, feeling great to why me pity . Guess i want to much to soon as with everything in my life (character defect). I am dusting myself off and searching for a new way..

Thanks , John

Tazman53

John as long as you do not quit trying to quit you will not fail!

I well remember wanting 5 years worth of sobriety under my belt the first week I was sober!!! I have heard a lot of folks in the rooms share about impatience so trust me you are not alone, one reason I drank was instant gratification, of course it led to constant dissatisfaction, I still remind myself that I spent 40 years drinking getting myself to that point, I can not expect to recover in a few weeks, months, or even years, but I can tell you that by staying sober and working my program and I have become a much better and happier person. I also found that the harder I worked my program the quicker most things got better.

Keep looking for that new way and remain willing to work at it, nothing works over night, I found that out, I did not develop full blown alcoholism over night, I worked at it!!!! I keep reminding myself that I have to work at my sobriety as well.

DoingWell

Been there and done that.. I would also get a case of "I'll show them" and drinking was my way of dealing with any anger or payback, it took a while to realize the only person I was really hurting was myself.
I have to watch out for anger and dissapointment as they are big triggers for me.

parentrecovers

you can be through today, john....support out, k

chip

John,
I think the important thing is that you are here with us now, and you want to change. Today is a perfect day for a fresh start. All we have is one day. It sounds like you learned from your experience. Next time you get into dangerous waters....reach out for some help. Help is here. We want to see you stay sober too, but we sure don't shoot our wounded. I hope you'll keep posting.
chip

Fluttering

Your seat is still here..

hope you stick around..

Don't quit before the miracle happens.

problemchild

Thank you all for the words of wisdom and encouragement, what a lousy day today i have talked to some people already today because of this rotten hangover, dont know about anyone else but this was my cycle, get drunk, feel like crap, get drunk to get over the feeling like crap. So i am fighting the urge to drink to feel better and feel like crap

Cathy31

Thinking of you> I struggled too for years. Wasted wasted years. Thank God I am sober today by the Grace of God and AA. It is a wonderful life and you CAN do it.
hugs,
cathy31
x

CarolD

Many of us had false starts before we finally quit.

and this can be your last hangover

Blessings

Tazman53

SO how you doing today John?

tiburon88

Don't say you "blew it" it sounds too negative. Most times a slip in recovery is a bump in the road. It is not the end of the world and there is no need to "start over."

BP44

Glad you made it back. Since I first started trying to get sober in 1991 I've had one weekend slip after a year and a half and then a huge relapse after 7 years. Both were in reality big deals. The first slip I treated as a little bump in the road. Nothing to really worry about. I would just work a little harder at my half measures. So, by the time I was in front of the first drink 7 years later, I still had no spiritual program, therefore, no defense from the first drink. That took me out for 4 years. Then I spent 2 years miserable, but dry. When I was finally done with misery and I wasn't sure I would stay sober, I crawled back into AA. That was when I was out of answers. That's when I became willing to do anything to get sober and get better. I have an alcoholic mind that minimizes the severity of my disease any way it can. be it rationalization, minimization etc. When I sat down with another man and with complete honesty went over my drinking history, and then completed and unmanageability list and reviewed that with him, I had a complete first step that became a cornerstone and foundation which the rest of the steps could be built on. During this time we read The Doctor's Opinion, More About Alcoholism and the 12&12 and he pointed out important points. This is how my journey in the 12 steps started. Each day is getting better, and it can for you too. All you have to do is pick up the spiritual tools that are freely given.