Introvrtd1

Therapy and meetings encouraging me to open my arms and reach out like a child that wants to be picked up.

Being a loner and a do-it-yourselfer for most of my life, is a big change to letting others help me.

Geez, this is harder than i thought.

There are good people who really care, and I say, "naaaa, I got this".

I kick myself when i get home, cause I realize I push them away.

Alcoholism sucks......

CarolD

Intro...

Can you smile ....say Thanks and shake hands?
That's my usual gesture of appreciation.

Glad to see you again!

nandm

It is so ironic that as much as we want to be comforted, we still shy away from it like it will burn us. I still don't understand why I do that. It really sucks to want a hug so bad but yet when I get one I tense up and feel like running.

It has been a hard thing to learn in sobriety, learning to accept help. It seems like the only person I could count on while I was drinking was myself. Maybe that is because I drove so many people away with my alcoholism. I still have trouble being the one to accept help but I am getting better all the time. I still seem to be the first person to jump up though when someone else needs help. It seems it is easier to give than recieve. Thank you is a hard thing to say.

Thanks for the post. The longer I am sober the better this stuff gets though. I think so much of it has to do with emotional healing and growth which does happen the longer we stay away from the drink.

Here is a hug just for you that you can not run from LOL

GrouchoTheCat

I don't like to accept help either. A friend at the meeting today asked me how I was doing, and I said I was just fine. I'm really not, but as you said, I didn't want to burden him. I know he's going through alot right now.

At least I post here, and I will level with my sponsor.

Too many years of: "I'm not hurting anyone but myself, just leave me alone."?

I'm working on it.

Rowan

It took me a long time to start reaching out, to admit I wasn't okay. I remember all too well how it felt to say 'I'm fine' when I was dying inside - I'd go home afterwards and just sit - feeling so empty.
When someone asks today, and I'm not feeling fine, I say so. And if they are open to it, and I trust them, I share. Then maybe they share. We might hug. I feel connected, go home, and feel hope.
My pride was killing me.

Introvrtd1

Yeah, thats it.........thats exactly it, thank u.

There is a certain pride i have in being a loner. As if to say, "look at me world, im an individual, not a groupie."

Thats so mean.

Who the heck do i think i am?

Rowan

I'm a loner too, and I like it that way. Reaching out for help doesn't change that fundamental part of who you are, though.

Viki

You are an individual that has a group problem. How's that for psychoanalization! it is a good thing to strive to be the one that makes the road so that others may travel or be the only individual thatcan make sense out of someone like me when i haven't had any sleep. You can do this because you have lived it. Our life experiences is what makes us unique................... Viki

Introvrtd1

It was revealed to me that my drinking behavior is waaay out of whack.

Not only was I chasing that "high", I drank to be in a constant state of euphoria.

Now theres a hole that needs to be filled.

What in the world do i do on weekends, when the football game is on sundays, saturday nites when its time to let loose and party, on friday nites when its time to get trashed for the weekend.

.......sigh...........

That was all rhetorical, i know. There is plenty to do besides being drunk all the time.

Problem is, do i WANT to do it sober.

I also realized drinking takes way more than it gives. In drunkeness, life is carefree and fun for a short while. Coming down from a binge really sucks.......for a long, long, time.

Rowan

It really comes down to you, and what you are willing to do. When the pain of addiction overrides any reluctance to do the work it takes to get sober. I wish I had the magic words, but all I can do is to share my own experience. It was only when I truly surrendered to alcohol and was willing to do whatever it takes, that I began to make progress. I attended AA for several years and was fairly miserable for some time. But the miracle happened, and I'm willing to do the work today.

Introvrtd1

.......so true.

I'll eventually get there. Until then......I'll be a work in progress.

Intro

Music

Only if you're still drinking. If you are drinking and you think it sucks, you ain't seen nothin' yet!

Introvrtd1

Why I do this to myself time and time again, I cant figure out.

Tazman53

intro I was a lone wolf myself for my entire life, as my disease progressed I with drew even further, I only dealt with people out of neccesity, like work or getting something done I did not know how to do. My final years of drinking were spent basically alone in my garage drinking!

I quoted what Rowan said because that is how I am today, I am still me, I am not a person who goes out seeking company, but I have learned that in order to save my own life I need the help & guidance of others who have conquered the beast of alcoholism.

Now here is a big change for me which I find rewarding beyond beleif, working with other alcoholics to help them manage/conquer thier alcoholism, I have found that in order for me to keep what was so freely given to me by others I have to give it away just as freely as it was given to me.

I no longer feel useless to other people, I have something (sobriety) that others want and I can give it to them by simply sharing how I got and stay sober, how I had the urge/need to drink removed, how I have become a person that I like.

For the most part I am still a loner, I like to hunt & fish most of the time by myself, but I also love to do things with my family.

DoingWell

I absolutely HATE asking for help and I, for the most part also like to be alone. I have a great therapist and participate in group therapy. My therapist does not make me feel my preference for being alone is bad, she works with me mainly on reaching out when I do need help. One of the things she had me do in my first couple of months of therapy were small excercises in asking for help, that really helped!
Now I actually look forward to my sessions and I love going to group.
I knew I had to change, but I also learned I can change certain things without giving up certain things (like preferring to be alone most times)

Tazman53

I can sure relate to that, I enjoy my alone time, I have learned though that there is a difference between my alone time and isolating myself!! Going to work, coming home and sitting in my garage alone is isolationism which for me is not a good thing, sitting in the woods or on a boat by myself is fine because I am out there in the world.

DoingWell

Yes that's it exactly.. well said!!
I discovered there is a difference also between being alone and being lonely. When I am feeling lonely is when I need to put out my hand and make an attempt, I'm faced with a choice, I can either sit and let the lonliness get me or I can go out and be with friends or call someone else in my group.

Fluttering

I too was/am an independent person...it was real hard for me to learn to reach out...YET it is also very important..The first word of step 1 is "WE"...It took a long time for me to understand and grasp the totality of that little 2 letter word.

When you are able to understand that and accept you are not doing this alone..it will get easier.

Pls keep posting & let us know how you are doing.
Hugs

Introvrtd1

...Will do.

Thanks,

Intro

Introvrtd1

Thanks. Cant wait to get there.

Intro