Like User Name is saying...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Southeastern US
Posts: 34
Like User Name is saying...
I want to go to AA badly. I need to. But I will not without knowing someone there first. I tried to have someone from the local AA call me but they said I would just have to show up. Please help anyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 51
Hi Tom -
Perhaps if you feel comfortable posting where in the Southeastern US you are located someone from SR might be from the same area and be willing to meet you at a meeting? Could be a long shot, but you never know.....
I did end up going to my first AA meeting by myself, although like you, I really wanted to go with someone. I'll admit, it was hard to walk through that door...but once I crossed that threshold, I was immediately greeted and welcomed by a number of people, and I ended up seeing that the things I needed were IN THAT ROOM, and I liked enough to go back again, and again, and again. I'm still going, over 2 years later! I'm glad I took the chance. I would be willing to bet that if you go, you will be made to feel welcome in the same way that I was.
In the meantime, keep reading and posting at SR. We are glad you are here
Perhaps if you feel comfortable posting where in the Southeastern US you are located someone from SR might be from the same area and be willing to meet you at a meeting? Could be a long shot, but you never know.....
I did end up going to my first AA meeting by myself, although like you, I really wanted to go with someone. I'll admit, it was hard to walk through that door...but once I crossed that threshold, I was immediately greeted and welcomed by a number of people, and I ended up seeing that the things I needed were IN THAT ROOM, and I liked enough to go back again, and again, and again. I'm still going, over 2 years later! I'm glad I took the chance. I would be willing to bet that if you go, you will be made to feel welcome in the same way that I was.
In the meantime, keep reading and posting at SR. We are glad you are here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Southeastern US
Posts: 34
thanks earthmama. I just cannot go in there alone and when I emailed the local AA they were somehwat cold. I have to meet someone beforehand and have them go in there with me. Sorry, that's just me.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Tom 
I have to meet someone beforehand and have them go in there with me. Sorry, that's just me.
If your just chicken to do it...getting past that is a huge part of finding the solution.
If you have a medical reason why... that is the only reason I see why someone should walk you in.
If no medical reason... them being cold to you is one of the best things they can do for you at this time.
When YOU want it...they will be there for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 123
hey!!
i think most of us have been where u are right now, but for sobriety we must be willing to go to any length to stay sober!! sometimes the only way through it is through it!! just like no one can make us a drink and no one can make us stay sober, we have to want if for ourselves, and sometimes that means getting the courage to go to a meeting by ourself! once we are there we realize that we are not alone!!
best of luck
L
i think most of us have been where u are right now, but for sobriety we must be willing to go to any length to stay sober!! sometimes the only way through it is through it!! just like no one can make us a drink and no one can make us stay sober, we have to want if for ourselves, and sometimes that means getting the courage to go to a meeting by ourself! once we are there we realize that we are not alone!!
best of luck
L
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by laurenlanai25
hey!!
i think most of us have been where u are right now, but for sobriety we must be willing to go to any length to stay sober!! sometimes the only way through it is through it!! just like no one can make us a drink and no one can make us stay sober, we have to want if for ourselves, and sometimes that means getting the courage to go to a meeting by ourself! once we are there we realize that we are not alone!!
best of luck
L
i think most of us have been where u are right now, but for sobriety we must be willing to go to any length to stay sober!! sometimes the only way through it is through it!! just like no one can make us a drink and no one can make us stay sober, we have to want if for ourselves, and sometimes that means getting the courage to go to a meeting by ourself! once we are there we realize that we are not alone!!
best of luck
L
Good luck. Keep posting to let us know how things go.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Did you ever walk into a bar all by yourself without knowing anyone? If so, try and draw on that memory. You can do it, and I will assure you that when you leave you won't wish you hadn't walked in.
I can't say that about the bars I walked in and out of!
Jon
I can't say that about the bars I walked in and out of!
Jon
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Tom....Welcome back..
Ask a friend to go with you.
Another drinker might want to stop too.
Call AA again...the next person you speak with
perhaps will agree to meet you at the door.
Tom..there is no reason to keep killing yurself.
It's been a long time since you were in college.
Time to take action and begin to find healing.
Prayers that you will change your mind and just go!
Ask a friend to go with you.
Another drinker might want to stop too.
Call AA again...the next person you speak with
perhaps will agree to meet you at the door.
Tom..there is no reason to keep killing yurself.
It's been a long time since you were in college.
Time to take action and begin to find healing.
Prayers that you will change your mind and just go!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Tom - you could also arrange for someone to meet you there.
Greeting newcomers is a vital part of what we try to do at our group. When anyone comes in, we all try to say hello, and someone will go over to them (because, after a while, you can't miss that 'deer in headlights' look of a true newcomer) buy them a cup of coffee, and chit chat with them until meeting time.
After you go a few times, Tom, remember that feeling. And try to make it a point to greet people yourself.
Our group goes to get people, meets them at the club, takes them home - whatever is required.
C'mon, Tom you can do this.
Greeting newcomers is a vital part of what we try to do at our group. When anyone comes in, we all try to say hello, and someone will go over to them (because, after a while, you can't miss that 'deer in headlights' look of a true newcomer) buy them a cup of coffee, and chit chat with them until meeting time.
After you go a few times, Tom, remember that feeling. And try to make it a point to greet people yourself.
Our group goes to get people, meets them at the club, takes them home - whatever is required.
C'mon, Tom you can do this.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
This is just my experience, there is a person I know who struggled for a very long time to have someone simply talk to them on the phone and meet them at a meeting to where they could take that first step towards sobriety.
I spoke with this person for quite a bit, the person truly could not briing them selfs to call some one without them knowing they were going to call. I made one phone call to the AA office in this persons area and spoke to some one there who said they would be more then happy to talk with them and meet them at a meeting.
I let this person know this persons phone number and that they were expecting them to call.
Long story short, this person made the call, went to thier first meeting, has been sober since that day, has a sponsor and has just finished step 12.
For those in AA check out this quote from "Working With Others", I bolded what I feel is signifigant for 12th step work:
Are we who have worked all the steps meeting our responsibilities?
I, nor the BB say we are to go out and drag drunks in off the street, but when some one says they simply want to have some one go with them to a meeting because they are scared.............. what the hell is the big deal?
Tom, PM me, if no one can hook you up with some one to talk to you & take you to your first meeting I will work something out come hell or high water as long as you are willing to do the follow up work.
I spoke with this person for quite a bit, the person truly could not briing them selfs to call some one without them knowing they were going to call. I made one phone call to the AA office in this persons area and spoke to some one there who said they would be more then happy to talk with them and meet them at a meeting.
I let this person know this persons phone number and that they were expecting them to call.
Long story short, this person made the call, went to thier first meeting, has been sober since that day, has a sponsor and has just finished step 12.
For those in AA check out this quote from "Working With Others", I bolded what I feel is signifigant for 12th step work:
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.
I, nor the BB say we are to go out and drag drunks in off the street, but when some one says they simply want to have some one go with them to a meeting because they are scared.............. what the hell is the big deal?
Tom, PM me, if no one can hook you up with some one to talk to you & take you to your first meeting I will work something out come hell or high water as long as you are willing to do the follow up work.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Hi Tom,be desperate enoguh to go to any and all lenghts for your soberiety.Folks will not always do what you want them to.Its your responsibility for your soberiety.Dont let anyone get in your way,whether there is someone to take you to a meeting or not.Go.
Taz,you asked a good question,and that is--whats the big deal????its in the BB,where the alcoholic,wants to change the light bulbs according to his/her own way.Wants to run the show,self will run riot...,,etc,,,etc...I use to have this too.When anyone says--i will not----there is the first clue that they want,help, done on their own terms,in the manner that they feel others needs to do,it, for them.Newcommer or not,one needs to be willing,openminded,and do the do things.The fact that a scared newcomer,comes to the meetings,is one huge,step towards recovery.Yup your scared,like most,just do it,and you will feel so very good about yourself!!!!!!Dont wait for anyone!!!!!
Taz,you asked a good question,and that is--whats the big deal????its in the BB,where the alcoholic,wants to change the light bulbs according to his/her own way.Wants to run the show,self will run riot...,,etc,,,etc...I use to have this too.When anyone says--i will not----there is the first clue that they want,help, done on their own terms,in the manner that they feel others needs to do,it, for them.Newcommer or not,one needs to be willing,openminded,and do the do things.The fact that a scared newcomer,comes to the meetings,is one huge,step towards recovery.Yup your scared,like most,just do it,and you will feel so very good about yourself!!!!!!Dont wait for anyone!!!!!
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
I liked what jfafagle said. I walked into innumerable bars all over the place. I was in the military on a ship so I want to bars everywhere we pulled in.
If you told me that there was a keg party in some quarry somewhere, I was gonna be there! Free beer? Darn right!
So my advice to you is to just go to a meeting. It is going to be the safest place you ever walked into in your life!
Just trying to put this into perspective...
Ted
If you told me that there was a keg party in some quarry somewhere, I was gonna be there! Free beer? Darn right!
So my advice to you is to just go to a meeting. It is going to be the safest place you ever walked into in your life!
Just trying to put this into perspective...
Ted
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Grasshopper first of all I quoted straight out of the BB, using the logic that some are using some how going out on a 12th step call is no longer part of AA because we should not be extending the hand of AA outside of the rooms.
There must be a 5th Edition of the BB with some major rewrites in it. In the 1st-4th Editions it has a Chapter called "Working With Others" and there is not a single word of waiting until someone gets their self to a meeting. As a matter of fact the only times the word "meet" is used is in reference to meeting the prospect.
There must be a 5th Edition of the BB with some major rewrites in it. In the 1st-4th Editions it has a Chapter called "Working With Others" and there is not a single word of waiting until someone gets their self to a meeting. As a matter of fact the only times the word "meet" is used is in reference to meeting the prospect.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Worcester
Posts: 789
Tom,
I was scared s**t when I went to my first AA meeting. I found nothing but smiles, acceptance, and (eeek) hugs. Most of the big meetings have greeters who's job it is to warmly welcome everyone who shows up. Give it a try. Remember how scary it was when you took the training wheels off, or when you first held your breath under water? It's the same deal with AA, the rewards are greater than the risk. Good luck, my prayers are with you. mike
I was scared s**t when I went to my first AA meeting. I found nothing but smiles, acceptance, and (eeek) hugs. Most of the big meetings have greeters who's job it is to warmly welcome everyone who shows up. Give it a try. Remember how scary it was when you took the training wheels off, or when you first held your breath under water? It's the same deal with AA, the rewards are greater than the risk. Good luck, my prayers are with you. mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
I vividly remember the anxiety, the fear, the knot in the pit of my stomach prior to walking into my first meeting alone.
I'd been in treatment for 6 weeks and was about to graduate from the program and I still hadn't gone to a meeting at the local club yet.
I knew that it was my lifeline, my salvation and that I had to face the fear and walk through it...
I walked into that meeting and found an old friend from the past...
a kid that was a friend of my brothers, an old using buddy, who wouldn't have had to be there except for the fact that I had "turned him on" to the crap in the first place...
He was now 14 years clean and sober!
That was almost 6 years ago...
I heard along the way, that courage is not the absence of fear but rather the ability to walk through it.
Or like Nike says...
Just do it...
I'd been in treatment for 6 weeks and was about to graduate from the program and I still hadn't gone to a meeting at the local club yet.
I knew that it was my lifeline, my salvation and that I had to face the fear and walk through it...
I walked into that meeting and found an old friend from the past...
a kid that was a friend of my brothers, an old using buddy, who wouldn't have had to be there except for the fact that I had "turned him on" to the crap in the first place...
He was now 14 years clean and sober!
That was almost 6 years ago...
I heard along the way, that courage is not the absence of fear but rather the ability to walk through it.
Or like Nike says...
Just do it...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Hi Taz,my dear no one said anything about waiting for the alcoholic to get themselves to a meeting.I was in no way applying this at all.
However,when an alcoholic clearly states---i will not----thats another story,too.Putting up conditions of soberiety and how one goes to a meeting,this is what im referring to.And what if somehow for whatever reason the person doesnt get anyone to take them there,can they now blame AA,because they didnt get help?The help is there,for one and all.I too quoted from the BB,self-will run riot.I know i had it as a newcomer,too,but i learned differently,as time went on.Im smiling cause i would love to see my sponsors respons had i said i will not go to a meeting,cause im scared.She would have encourged me to at least get there and she would meet me there.Helping me to get out of my issues,,not catering to them.Oh well,different strokes for the different folks,i guess.
Thanks for letting me share,,again..
However,when an alcoholic clearly states---i will not----thats another story,too.Putting up conditions of soberiety and how one goes to a meeting,this is what im referring to.And what if somehow for whatever reason the person doesnt get anyone to take them there,can they now blame AA,because they didnt get help?The help is there,for one and all.I too quoted from the BB,self-will run riot.I know i had it as a newcomer,too,but i learned differently,as time went on.Im smiling cause i would love to see my sponsors respons had i said i will not go to a meeting,cause im scared.She would have encourged me to at least get there and she would meet me there.Helping me to get out of my issues,,not catering to them.Oh well,different strokes for the different folks,i guess.
Thanks for letting me share,,again..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,424
Lot’s of good replies here already.
Originally Posted by Tom
I want to go to AA badly. I need to. But I will not without knowing someone there first. I tried to have someone from the local AA call me but they said I would just have to show up. Please help anyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Mistake on my part,.I did not --quote--from the BB....
I am referring to it though.The part where it talks about alcoholics wanting to run the show.If only the light bulbs were to to my way of thinking,,the show would come off better.
I am referring to it though.The part where it talks about alcoholics wanting to run the show.If only the light bulbs were to to my way of thinking,,the show would come off better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sunny Florida
Posts: 73
Hey Tom,
I remember my first AA meeting. My husband MADE me go -- so yes he was with me but I went in with a black eye and him with a broken wrist. But he had been with other people so he knew the routine -- I did not.
I took a white chip at the end and everyone cheered! I later met people and when reminicing they didn't even recall the black eye because they had all been there and no one judged me.
It's really not that bad. You don't even have to say anything. If, for some reason, it's a small meeting just kindly say, "I'm happy to be here, it's my first meeting." And that's all. No one will pressure you.
Believe me, I don't think there have been bigger looking fools than us when we walked in that room. And I'm thankful we did!
I remember my first AA meeting. My husband MADE me go -- so yes he was with me but I went in with a black eye and him with a broken wrist. But he had been with other people so he knew the routine -- I did not.
I took a white chip at the end and everyone cheered! I later met people and when reminicing they didn't even recall the black eye because they had all been there and no one judged me.
It's really not that bad. You don't even have to say anything. If, for some reason, it's a small meeting just kindly say, "I'm happy to be here, it's my first meeting." And that's all. No one will pressure you.
Believe me, I don't think there have been bigger looking fools than us when we walked in that room. And I'm thankful we did!
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