Introducing myself…
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 21
Introducing myself…
Hello all…
I just found this forum because I am looking for a support system. I need to stop drinking.
I’m 28 and I live in Los Angeles. My problem started a few years ago, out of anxiety and boredom. I’m terrible with strangers, I don’t particularly care to socialize, and I tire easily at almost anything. Nothing holds my attention well, and when I’ve stopped drinking before I’ve found myself utterly jumping out of my skin with energy and nowhere worthwhile to place it.
Because I have such a high-stress job, I’m often too mentally-tired to go out or be productive after work. So I fell into this routine. I love to cook, so I started killing a bottle of wine while I cooked dinner. Then a little more than a bottle, then almost 7 nights a week. Then, well, now…I find myself at the store saying “don’t drink tonight, don’t do it”…and my hand reaches up and grab’s a bottle anyway.
Anyways, I can’t do it anymore. I realize now that it has become far too important an aspect of my life, and that it is probably blinding me to some happiness I could find sober. I really don’t want to go to meetings, like I said, I’m just not a people-person. But I know I can’t do this all on my own, otherwise I would have already. My plan is to see a therapist, read some books, and try some cyber-support. Which is what brings me here.
I’ll be honest, the single biggest thing between me and my sobriety is boredom and sacrifice. I very rarely say ‘no’ to myself. But I will be trying. I haven’t had a drink in two days…
I just found this forum because I am looking for a support system. I need to stop drinking.
I’m 28 and I live in Los Angeles. My problem started a few years ago, out of anxiety and boredom. I’m terrible with strangers, I don’t particularly care to socialize, and I tire easily at almost anything. Nothing holds my attention well, and when I’ve stopped drinking before I’ve found myself utterly jumping out of my skin with energy and nowhere worthwhile to place it.
Because I have such a high-stress job, I’m often too mentally-tired to go out or be productive after work. So I fell into this routine. I love to cook, so I started killing a bottle of wine while I cooked dinner. Then a little more than a bottle, then almost 7 nights a week. Then, well, now…I find myself at the store saying “don’t drink tonight, don’t do it”…and my hand reaches up and grab’s a bottle anyway.
Anyways, I can’t do it anymore. I realize now that it has become far too important an aspect of my life, and that it is probably blinding me to some happiness I could find sober. I really don’t want to go to meetings, like I said, I’m just not a people-person. But I know I can’t do this all on my own, otherwise I would have already. My plan is to see a therapist, read some books, and try some cyber-support. Which is what brings me here.
I’ll be honest, the single biggest thing between me and my sobriety is boredom and sacrifice. I very rarely say ‘no’ to myself. But I will be trying. I haven’t had a drink in two days…
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by workinonit 
My plan is to see a therapist, read some books, and try some cyber-support. Which is what brings me here.
I would reccommend the books "Beyond the Influence" and "Alcoholics Anonimous", both available on Amazon and elsewhere.
I have seen many people come here for support and answers before they tried anything else, and many of them are sober and happy.
Personally, I need AA to remain sober but I know that it's not for everyone.
Anyhow, welcome!
Ted
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Welcome,
AA isn't for everyone. It has been for me for the past few years, but then I couldn't do it by myself. I was always going to stop tomorrow.
I knew that AA was full of a bunch of glad handing; hail fellow well met type of people, not to mention that God and religion stuff. I only went because I didn't know what else to do.
I only went to learn to "drink better" as I had allowed my drinking to get out of control. By some strange happen stance I ended up in a meeting where everyone was in worse shape than I was so I stayed sober in order to help them straighten their lives out. So far after a few years my work has only just begun. They keep coming in the door faster than I can get them straightened out.
Funny thing has been that I have had to focus on their problems and even though I am most certainly not a people person and I own a brokerage business that produces untold amount of stress, I have been so busy THINKING ABOUT OTHERS PROBLEMS that I can't afford to disappear inside myself and my bottle.
None of my business stress has disappeared, but I seem more capable of dealing with it. I have found that some folks are worth confiding in when I feel overwhelmed and I have grown used to the friendship that I never knew I was missing.
The prattle above is just my story. My insurance agent shared a story very much like this one when I told him about my concerns a few years ago. The reason that I relate this story to you is that your opening IINTRODUCTION could have been written by me back in 1999.
Best of luck regardless of the direction you choose.
Jon
AA isn't for everyone. It has been for me for the past few years, but then I couldn't do it by myself. I was always going to stop tomorrow.
I knew that AA was full of a bunch of glad handing; hail fellow well met type of people, not to mention that God and religion stuff. I only went because I didn't know what else to do.
I only went to learn to "drink better" as I had allowed my drinking to get out of control. By some strange happen stance I ended up in a meeting where everyone was in worse shape than I was so I stayed sober in order to help them straighten their lives out. So far after a few years my work has only just begun. They keep coming in the door faster than I can get them straightened out.
Funny thing has been that I have had to focus on their problems and even though I am most certainly not a people person and I own a brokerage business that produces untold amount of stress, I have been so busy THINKING ABOUT OTHERS PROBLEMS that I can't afford to disappear inside myself and my bottle.
None of my business stress has disappeared, but I seem more capable of dealing with it. I have found that some folks are worth confiding in when I feel overwhelmed and I have grown used to the friendship that I never knew I was missing.
The prattle above is just my story. My insurance agent shared a story very much like this one when I told him about my concerns a few years ago. The reason that I relate this story to you is that your opening IINTRODUCTION could have been written by me back in 1999.
Best of luck regardless of the direction you choose.
Jon
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Welcome workinonit, always good to have another member. AA and meetings work for me, but the first step is admitting that you're powerless over alcohol. You'll figure out what works best for you. Keep posting and reading!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi,
Congratulations on 2 days sober!
I used alcohol to self-medicate too, though for somewhat different reasons that you. Alcohol did help me with my reluctance to socialize, for awhile, but it was a false sense of security. I've been sober for awhile now and I still am reluctant to socialize and I fully accept that about myself. It's far preferable to be uncomfortable at a social gathering than to be drunk.
Congratulations on 2 days sober!
I used alcohol to self-medicate too, though for somewhat different reasons that you. Alcohol did help me with my reluctance to socialize, for awhile, but it was a false sense of security. I've been sober for awhile now and I still am reluctant to socialize and I fully accept that about myself. It's far preferable to be uncomfortable at a social gathering than to be drunk.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 21
Thanks everybody for the warm welcome!
Right now I'm simply exhausted. Its like all the hangovers are catching up with me at once. I've never had a hard time getting through the weekend so the hard part will come after work on Monday. In the meantime, I'm very grateful to be able to come here and share in the discussion and support.
Thanks again!
Right now I'm simply exhausted. Its like all the hangovers are catching up with me at once. I've never had a hard time getting through the weekend so the hard part will come after work on Monday. In the meantime, I'm very grateful to be able to come here and share in the discussion and support.
Thanks again!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad to see you are looking for answers
I sugest you read the sticky post at the top of the page...
especially #2 and #3
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum
I sugest you read the sticky post at the top of the page...
especially #2 and #3
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum
Glad to be here
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 178
Welcome aboard workingonit. Congratulations on your 2 days. I found this forum to be of tremendous help in my early days (and still today). I also read "Beyond the Influence" and highly recommend it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
Glad you're here, workinonit. You'll find a lot of support and ESH (experience, strength and hope) on this forum. Please keep us posted on your progress.
Best wishes from the Snowgoose.
Best wishes from the Snowgoose.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Welcome Workingonit,
Congrats on a great choice! Sobriety is a great gift. Sometimes, when things get tough, I list the advantages of being sober:
- I save money
- I feel better and don't suffer from a hangover
- The shame and guilt are gone
- My mind works better
- I can drive legally
- I can work on hobbies in the evening
- I can hang out with new friends who are in recovery as well (yeah, I joined AA)
- I can blast my music loud and dance....sober (yes, dancing sober)
The list goes on and on...
The big thing is that in sobriety, I've gained my self respect back. I have done something about my drinking. My drinking has bothered me for a long time, and at last it is "fixed".
I hope you will stick with us. Keep up the good work!!! The rewards of sobriety will start to come your way. When it gets tough, many of us think about the things we are thankful for.
Another thing that is said again and again.... Many of us live "one day at a time". For me, it was very difficult to imagine NEVER drinking again. I can handle sobriety in 24 hour periods. I just focus on today. I might drink tommorow..... but I sure won't today. Each day I make a "contract" that states that I won't drink for 24 hours. This has worked for me for 23 months now!
Anyway, I'm glad you've joined us. Keep working at it!
chip
Congrats on a great choice! Sobriety is a great gift. Sometimes, when things get tough, I list the advantages of being sober:
- I save money
- I feel better and don't suffer from a hangover
- The shame and guilt are gone
- My mind works better
- I can drive legally
- I can work on hobbies in the evening
- I can hang out with new friends who are in recovery as well (yeah, I joined AA)
- I can blast my music loud and dance....sober (yes, dancing sober)
The list goes on and on...
The big thing is that in sobriety, I've gained my self respect back. I have done something about my drinking. My drinking has bothered me for a long time, and at last it is "fixed".
I hope you will stick with us. Keep up the good work!!! The rewards of sobriety will start to come your way. When it gets tough, many of us think about the things we are thankful for.
Another thing that is said again and again.... Many of us live "one day at a time". For me, it was very difficult to imagine NEVER drinking again. I can handle sobriety in 24 hour periods. I just focus on today. I might drink tommorow..... but I sure won't today. Each day I make a "contract" that states that I won't drink for 24 hours. This has worked for me for 23 months now!
Anyway, I'm glad you've joined us. Keep working at it!
chip
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 21
Just wanted to let everyone know I'm on day 5 and still doing good. Haven't had anything in the way of physical symptoms, except being tired. I was consuming so much sugar and running myself into the ground with late nights and long days, after 4nights of normal sleep I feel pretty good. I drink only one cup of coffee per day and avoid caffeine as much as possible, have for a few years thank goodness.
On the downside I definately feel bored and like I'm missing out on the fun. But I'm trying to build a schedule and stick to it, so I don't have so much time to dwell on those ideas.
Best wishes to everyone!
On the downside I definately feel bored and like I'm missing out on the fun. But I'm trying to build a schedule and stick to it, so I don't have so much time to dwell on those ideas.
Best wishes to everyone!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Happy to hear you're doing well!
I spent yesterday morning with my kids playing paintball with "normal" drinkers. Not boring at all, we had a great time. It's definitely possible to have fun and enjoy life in sobriety.
I spent yesterday morning with my kids playing paintball with "normal" drinkers. Not boring at all, we had a great time. It's definitely possible to have fun and enjoy life in sobriety.
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