myss37

I'm a newbie here with a couple of AA meetings under my belt.
15 days into my sobriety, I learned my boyfriend who is in Korea
right now had 2 car accidents both involving alcohol. He just
got out of prison last week and is now awaiting sentencing. I worried sick about him but still feel very strong about not drinking
to comfort myself in anyway. Is is normal to obsess over things
you have no control over in the beginning of sobriety. I'm completely sick at heart over this. He has a serious drinking problem and I feel helpless.

Peter

Hello myss37.Welcome to Sober Recovery and congratulations on your 23 days.

I empathize with your concern about your boyfriend in Korea but right now the best thing you could probably do to help him with his drinking problem is staying sober yourself.

Many people have been known to have a "wake up call" and stop drinking on their own.Maybe if your boyfriend begins to realize that his life is becoming unmanagable and he sees how serious you are about recovery he might one day even join you in an AA meeting.

In the meantime please take care of yourself and continue going to meetings.I really hope things work out well for you.

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing ok.

Peter.

Doug

Hi myss and welcome, its good to have you here.

Obsessing over things I couldn't control. That was like having a splinter in my mind for a while.

While I was drinking, I always thought I was in control of most things, and could control everything else. After I stopped drinking, there was still a period of time I thought I was still king!

Working in and on my own recovery taught me that besides having no control, over a lot of things, I don't feel the need anymore either, to try to be in control.

Going to meetings, working the program, the obsessions start to fall away.

Hang in there, you will feel better, and try to stay in touch here and let us know how your doing.

Doug

SobrietyFirst

Welcome, and I empethize what you are going through right now, both with your boyfriend and your early sobriety.

To answer your question about obsessing, it has been my experience that it is entirely normal. I obsessed alot about lots of different things, and I have spoken withy many different people who have said their experience is the same.

Fear not, as you are not alone during this trying time. Rememeber that no matter what else is going on around you, you can still remain sober through it all. I know that may not seem to be true; however, remember that you can't get drunk if you don't take that first drink.

What I found helpful was a simple prayer. Every time I began to obsess about something, I aksed God to remove that obsession, and went and found something to do. In AA circles, the words used are finding the next right thing. Perhaps it is offering a prayer about your boyfriend. Perhaps it is picking up the phone and calling someone. Perhaps it is coming to this site. Perhaps it is feeding yourself, doing the laundry, getting the mail...God will guide you there, and you can also help yourself there as well.

Hang in there. You ARE doing the right thing already by sharing what is going on with you.

Blessings

MootPoint

congradulations on the 23 days!

I'm in the early days of sobriety (month and a half) and obsess over everything. I mean eeeeeeeeverything. But then my drinking was to obliterate my obsessing.

I'm hoping that the life changes AA will bring me will stop the obsessing.

That was off topic.

Sobriety First mentioned the next right thing. Sounds like not drinking is doing the next right thing considering what you are going through. Sounds like you are committed.

I hope that like Peter said, he eventually joins you in an AA meeting.

Please keep in touch with us