I need help
 

I have been an alcoholic for at least 10 years and have known it for at least 5. I quit while I was pregnant/nursing and hated every day of it. Now I'm back at it and its worse than ever!
I finally told my husband last night (not that he didn't already know). Aside from him, I have been VERY good at hiding my problem and I don't think he really even knows the extent of it. I am so embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Every morning I wake up saying "I'm done." and every night I go to bed feeling like a failure.
My husband emptied all the alcohol bottles this morning and said no one would be drinking in our house anymore, including him (who drinks socially for the most part).
Now, I am DYING to drink and going crazy! I don't feel like me. Which, i guess is my problem in the first place. That first drink always made me feel more calm and focused, etc. but then there was always the 2nd drink... 3rd...4th.... and so on.
I guess I'm here just looking for some support. I'm not to excited about the AA thing. I'm not a very religious person and don't feel that it would be right for me.
I appreciate your suggestions.

I am glad you are here
 

AA only requires a desire to stop drinking. I too had issues with the God thing when I started but was so desperate to learn how to live life without drinking I gave it AA a shot. It has been nearly 7 years and am very grateful I got past my fears and went to AA. One thing I am grateful for is that I do not have to believe in the God I was raised with for AA to work. The God/Higher Power can be as simple as anything you believe is more powerful than you. Electricity is something I know is more powerful than me. Some people use the group of alcoholics as their Higher Power (ironically group of alcoholics can be abreviate as god). I still do not have much use for organized religion but have learned what a gift spirituality can be. There are other programs out there to help people with alcohol problems but I can not speak for them as I do not have any experience with them. There is hope as well as a way to stop the overwhelming desire to drink. So please don't stop searching and consider giving AA a try.

How do you know AA is not right for you? By the way, there better not be any religion there at that AA or I 'm not going either! :P

Let me know if I can help~!

Ruf

I would try AA. Do an open meeting for a while.

I will think about it. Also I was thinking of finding a Psychiatrist. I heard they could help with the cravings and withdrawal symptoms. Is this true?

There are as many kinds of "help" as there are drunks, it just depends what works for whom. I have noticed that AA seems to work for a whole bunch of us. As has already been said the God/religion (not necessarily the same by any means) thing isn't a prerequisite to attend AA. A DESIRE to stop drinking is the prerequisite and I think you have said you qualify.

I gave it a "try" 8 years ago, absolutely refused to deal in any "religion" and still don't but do allow God to get involved! At any rate I am still going,, not drinking at least today, can't say about tomorrow, but that is what I like about just quitting for today.

You may want to look into this AA stuff, if it doesn't work for you then there are as I stated at the beginning of my ramblings, many ways to try and get and stay sober. I liked AA because the rates were better than Psychiatry and they had pretty "open" office hours.

Best of luck and congratulations on admitting you are an alcoholic. Just toss in the part about your life being unmanageable and powerless over the booze and you are on your way to learning the "secret handshake!"

Jon

Even if you don't want to go to AA, hiding the bottles won't help you.

You need medical assistance now! There are people out there that will help you, whether from AA or even your own doctor.

I didn't choose for AA because of my anxiety/panic attacks but I firmly believe they are good people.

Seek help and believe in yourself!

Welcome to SR, Brobo!

Quitting isn't easy. It was the hardest thing I EVER did in my life. Staying sober is hard as well.

Spending time on these forums helped me alot. When you have a rough time, try reading someone's story or posting how you feel. You can always share how you are feeling here. It helps.

Another thing that people find helpful is the realization that we are not alone. There are millions of people who share a struggle with this disease. We can help each other.

I'm a full blown alcoholic. I havn't had a drink in 23 months. I couldn't have done this alone. This website helped me soooooo much. AA also helped me.

I had serious reservations about AA. I found that it is perfect for me, and it has helped me stay sober. This isn't an easy road, but it is much easier as it goes along. I find that on most days now, I don't even think about drinking. I hope you can find some answers and hope on this website.

Stick with us. It does get better. Many of us break it down to a "one day at a time" thing. Most of us can stay sober for 24 hours, even when we drank. The trick is to do this everyday. It does get easier....

I can relate to how you feel. I hope we can help you here.
peace,
chip

Hi and welcome brobo. Many people quit without AA, I needed it and I am an atheist BTW. :)

Have you considered rehab?

Hiya, not that I'm one to give advice but if you've been drinking heavily and quit suddenly you would probably be advised to see a medical professional, withdrawal can be dangerous, with a risk of seizure.

Re the psychiatric option, I'm seeing a psychiatrist in early Sept to access the appropriateness of Revia (Naltrexone). Apparently it's hopeful and anything that supports us on this journey is well worth considering I think :0)

Have you looked at other recovery options? I'm seeing an addiction specialist at the moment and in only 3 sessions I've understood so much more than I did previously.

Good luck, you can do this - it would be great to hear how you are going :0)

hi and Welcome to SR!
:)
I suggest you explore the top sticky post here.

"Quitting" has personal shares on de toxing.
"Under" is excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
and here is a link of recovery methods

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

The one I use is AA....:) the others were not founded when I quit.
Wile I have checked them out...I never considered switching.

I do hope you will find a way that benefits you
Recovery Rocks!

Hi. I tried, made it about a month and went back to my old habits. I am also an atheist and have shied away from meetings due to that issue. I hope to join you again soon,

Campergirl.....Hi again!
Welcome back :)

I will suggest the same reading for you too.

Keep trying...

I will.

AA has more non-religous folks then religous ones.

I have only been to one church service since I got sober almost a year ago, most folks I know in AA do not go to church or practice any religion at all.

Here is the Preamble of AA:
Finding a Power Greater then myself that I understood & Spirituality are what has kept this old drunk sober.

There is a distinct difference between Religion & Spirituality:

Religous people go to church because they do not want to go to hell.

Spiritual people are spiritual because they have already been through hell and do not want to go back!

Why not go to a few meetings and see for your self, there are a lot of folks who are still drinking today who say that AA is religous and that is why they would never go yet they have never even been to a meeting.

To say AA is religous is like saying NASCAR races are religous because they say a prayer before the race!

You have made a huge step towards sobriety, instead of listening to what other people are telling you about any programs I would suggest to check out them all and see which program you feel will work for you.

I will say this, there is not a single program that will work for anyone unless they work the program.

For this old drunk it took AA to end a 40 year long drinking career.

Good luck and hang around, there is an awful lot of support here and good advice.

Welcome, brobo!

You sound a lot like me when I first started getting serious about getting sober. I actually wrote a letter to someone I knew was in AA and told him I was worried that I had a drinking problem but that I was SURE AA was not for me. No way. Somehow, he and his wife convinced me to go to a meeting - and now two years later, he occasionally pulls out that letter to tease me, since I now go to 2 AA meetings a week because I genuinely WANT to. In fact, I look forward to AA meetings!

My life is completely different than it was before I came to AA and quit drinking. I am a better mom, wife, friend, and PERSON. I am content more often than not. When I struggle with anything - a feeling, a resentment, a desire to drink - I know where to go to get help. I am so grateful now that I wasn't so prejudiced against AA that I never gave it a try.

I am not a religious person - never was - but now I do live my life on a spiritual basis. It is a great, peaceful feeling.

I hope you stick around and keep reading and posting. We are glad you are here :)

You know what, Brobo? You are stuck with this problem, probably.

It is not the worst, as many can attest to here; once under control, abstinence is hugely empowering. After all, you are doing something good for yourself that every demon in your being is saying: "Hey, you need a drink!"

No, it is not easy, and staying sober requires constant vigilance. But, about AA: if you simply remember that you are in a room full of people who have the same problem, that is all you have to know. All the rest is what you choose to take. Early on it is such a relief to find so many "normal, happy" "alcoholics" who are living without drinking that I can recommend you try it. It is about a group of people sharing a problem, that's all.

FYI your husband throwing out all the alcohol: bravo for him, but for him it was a no-brainer. Your problem IS your brain, telling you you need this stuff. Glad he is on your side, but he will NEVER understand; you will have to do this.

Welcome here,
Jhana

Hi, Brobo... and Campergirl. Welcome. I hope you find what you need here. I tried a variety of ways of putting down the bottle before I got humble and went to AA in this small town where I was worried about my anonymity and reputation. I love the program of AA but had a big problem with the God thing, especially then. But there was simply no problem reconciling my views with the concept of a Higher Power. I have stayed sober quite a few 24hours now with the help of AA and the people in the rooms. It makes all the difference to me that I am around people who have the same problem.

Welcome Brobo -

I don't think many of us were really hot to attend an AA meeting at first. It truly was not high on my list of fun things to do!! But I went, and kept going, and it's been tremendously helpful for me.

Just give it a try, if it does not work for you, you haven't lost more than a few hours of your time! The price is right, too.

TinLizzy.

Hi everyone! Wow what a lot of posts! I am miserable but haven't had a drink yet. Last night was hard with no sleep, sweating and hot and cold spells. I'm not shaking so much today but am still dying for that drink!
I am really worried about my anonymity and reputation as (I said before) no one really knows but my husband. I'm very embarrassed and have begged him not to tell anyone. I just keep telling myself that I HAVE to do this for my family and myself. Whoops! Heres comes those tears again! Detoxing must make you very emotional.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I will look into the reading you recommended and check to see if there's an AA group in my area at a time that I can attend. Thank you!