Barto

And when I work the program (which I do to the best of my ability), it pays real dividends. All kinds of things I never thought possible have happened for me.

CarolD

Glad you are here too....our newcomers are very special.

We do not have on lne meetings here
so I sk you check this for a directory.

http://www.aalivechat.com/

SR is open 24/7 so someone will be
around if you check in.

taltalonet

i talk to my sister now and i toled here about my decition to go to aa meetings ...she sayed she is very glad for me. after i hang up the phone i start crying again...
is this will happen after evrey time i will say that to somone ...
dose the pain will go away?
do i need to do somthing ales then thinking about it or shouled i stay here talking 2 you ?

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Tal,

My first two weeks sober I was crying constantly. All the time. I can venture to guess that you are crying because not only is it a relief to actually come to this realization, but that it has come to this.

Now, you can do something about it! Isn't that a gift?? Go to that meeting, say hello, listen, and get a bunch of phone numbers.

I promise you that it will get better, it has for me. And for so many of us here.

Big hugs,

Karen

Barto

I see there are a lot of people here for you, and you will meet many more of us if you stick around and or try some meetings.

Tazman53

I was the same way when I first got sober. I was full of hate, shame, guilt and anger. I found salvation from that in AA by working the steps with my sponsor and leaning on the fellowship. They loved me when I could not love myself and continued to do so until I was able to love myself. As I progressed in the steps I also learned how to live life one day at a time on lifes terms.

The emotions will be very strong in the early months of sobriety, for me when I first got sober I had emotions I had forgotten I had because I was to drunk to feel them, I was very emotional because emotions were new to me and I did not know how to deal with them. The steps of AA have helped my emotions become normal (I think) for me.

The pain does go away, for me the vast majority of my pain was lifted after I did the 4th & 5th step.

Let me add one thing here real quick, since it sounds as though there are very few meetings in your area it may be of great help to you to look up the phone number for your local AA and call it. Let them know what is up and ask if they can help you out, I have a feeling you will be very pleasantly surprised.

GrouchoTheCat

Taltalonet,

When I finally and completely realized that I have the disease of alcoholism, I was relieved.

I finally figured out after many many years that I have a disease and That's why I want to drink!

It's that simple!

Now that I know this, I need to treat my disease. I go to AA because the people in AA were the only people that I had ever met who understood my problem. For me, going to AA is like going home. They are my family now and I always feel incredably loved and peaceful at a meeting.

I wish you the best, and if you stay sober the guilt, shame and remorse WILL pass!

Please stop beating yourself up and realize that you have been given the incredable gift of realization.

Many die of this disease, and they die drunk.

Today I want to die sober.

Take care,

Ted

RufusACanal

Wear sunglasses. Wear a raincoat. Go to a meeting and open yourself up to the possibilities of a new life. You are a hostage to alcohol; freedom is so very close. You really have only two paths left if you are as truly desperate as your sound. Drink and die or recover and live. Embarassment will pass, your death will not. What do you have to lose except a life filled with fear and pain. I pick the new life, why don't you.

Ruf

taltalonet

Hi ..after one day of being sober , im seeting here drinking ...coffee
and see how my mind tell me that every thing is ok and im not realy an alcholic and everything is under control and yesterday was just a bed day and im exaggerate
when i okt up this morning every thing was back to normal and i can go out with my freinds again and drink...but u know its my mind playing with me..now its weekend and the weekends night i usualy drink...and the meeting is on sunday ...i know i need to be strong and sober because that the real life but im afraid...
i call the aa conection man he didnt answer ...its kind of late here 22:54 ..
well i steek here hope it will be fine ...and call him again tomorrow morning...
thanks again ...you are relly good i fill some one realy understend me...my friends cant do that...

earthmama

WELCOME, taltalonet

I'll echo what everyone else has said here - I was terrified going to my first meeting. I shook the whole time, and couldn't BELIEVE I was there. But, through my fear, I saw something in that room that I wanted. Here was a room of 25 alcoholics, who were sober...and were smiling and laughing and talking honestly about their past and their present. They all started out just like me...sick and scared and hopeless...and here they were now. I WANTED that, badly.

I won't lie - early sobriety was hard. I had to face a lot of feelings that I had been drinking to avoid for years and years. I had to learn a new way to "relax" in the evenings (and afternoons! lol) At the beginning, I just worked on staying sober one day at a time, and I reached out to other alcoholics for help, and followed their instructions. Now, I am one of those people in the rooms who can be honest, and smile, and laugh!! I can't believe I got here from where I started, but I did it by working the steps and going to meetings and following instructions. And YOU CAN TOO.

As for worrying about telling family and friends....I told my husband and my mom when I first started going to AA. That's it. No one else needed to know. Over the years, I've told more friends, but not everyone. There's no "rule" that you have to tell people in AA if you don't want to.

I'm so glad you're here! Keep reading and posting, and try that AA hotline again

taltalonet

do you think its a hotline?
maybe alex got to sleep?
no ?

i cant link it aa-israel

Barto

AA's understand AA's because we are all (in many ways) very much the same. Keep coming back! I can’t wait to hear about your meeting.

CarolD

From my files.....

National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service available at
1-800-662-HELP
This service can provide you with information about treatment programs in your local community and allow you to speak with someone about alcohol problems

Do come back and let me know our experience with this.

barb dwyer

hi Tal -

I was friends once with someone from Israel, and her name was Tal. I have been reading your posts, and you've helped me remember when I first got sober as well.
Thank you for that.
And thank you for helping me remember Tal.
I wonder now what ever happened to her.
All I know is she moved back to Israel.

I'll have a year sober in a couple of weeks, and I've been doing a lot of 'year in review' stuff. Your posts helped me quite a bit.
I am online all night, every night - which is, I THINK - the middle of your morning or something, but if you need to talk ... I'm here.

Please keep posting - and hang in there!

taltalonet

Hi...well i got over the night ...trying to sleep ...very hard to fall a sleep...wondering how my life is going to be after the first meeting...if ill go because im afraid...how it will affect me.. i hope that im not going to run away (like i use to im a relly a great runner ! ) so why dont do it? i do the best ?? actually i got realize im a alcholic after i light a cigarette and i know its will distroy my ability to run (what i love to do the most !!)...then i saw alchol make me not think and distroying evreything i have..so its kind of funny or sad what ever ..im confused and i hope sunday will come soon..or not..any way i fill i dont want to see my friends and want to be alone ...wich is better ?
10x again..

barb dwyer

hi Tal -

one thing at a time. first : CONGRATULATIONS on hanging in there!
that's got to be the first thing.

next - what's for breakfast?
what time is the meeting?

the confusion - will eventually pass.
just stay where our hands are. don't worry about teh future right now.
trust that you are doing the right thing.
because you ARE.

so =- what time is the meeting?

don't worry about what is going AFTER the meeting. just let yourself focus on time until the meeting.
or right now.

we're here. You're doing great, Tal.

Tazman53

Tal just to let you know that if you do drink before the meeting that it is okay, I know people in AA sober today who went to meetings drunk for a long time before they finally got sober.

The only requirement to be a member of AA is a desire to stop drinking, if you show up to the meeting drunk you will still be welcome and as long as you want to quit drinking you will always be welcome to an AA meeting anywhere in the world!

The one thing we all have in common in AA is that we are alcoholics and as a result we know that the one thing every alcoholic knows how to do is drink!!! We in AA have found a solution for our problem and love nothing more then to freely give to another alcoholic what we have to help them to get and stay sober.

Try not to drink before the meeting, but if you do still go, the people there will understand, a lot of them have gone to meetings drunk and still managed to get and stay sober. My first AA meeting I went to drunk on my butt!!! I was still welcomed by everyone there even though I was so drunk there was no hiding it.