barb dwyer

I wasn't going to post on this thread, but it's been a very interesting read for me. Thanks, Tib for bringing it up.

You know, I can't speak for everyone, only little old me out here in left field ...
-BUT-
I count my time , maybe others do too, because it's the only thing I've done...
honestly.
It's the only thing I've ever done that I didn't fidge, cheat, or otherwise not really EARN.
I'm proud of my teensy little year.
Big ass way proud.
It's been the best year I've had in almost fifteen years.

I have a sneaking feeling I might not be the only one who thinks this way about their time. When *I* ask someone how much 'time' they've got sober, it's because there's often similar things we experience in different phases of sobering up that makes a common ground.
Once we have a common ground ... then we can communicate.
I'm not looking to be better than anyone or to compare myself to anyone.

I happen to be comfortably seated in the center of my little universe; thank you very much. (c:

When I know where you are in your detox/sobering up -
I know how to talk to you better.
I know what you're feeling ... possibly thinking about ...
becuse I'm an alcoholic, too.
I was there.
I remember my own problems at that stage.
It's really nothing more devious than that.

barb dwyer

oops - I mean, I wasn't gong to post *again* on this thread. sorry.

Tazman53

Tib I learned very quickly that in order to stay sober I had to change!

Some things I needed to change about me were very easy for me to figure out because I was violating some of my own core values and morals.

One of my core values I was violating was lying, I was a living lie when I was drinking, I lied about damn near anything and everything, basically my life was a lie and as long as I was lying.... I was a drunk whether I was drinking or not. Funny thing is when I was drinking the one thing I could not stand was a liar even though I was one!

In order to begin to get and stay sober I had to become brutally honest with myself and the world. I found out very quickly that by not lying I was freed from shame & guilt which resulted in my anger level being far lower.

I am thankful that my sponsor & others with more sober time then me pointed out to me other defects of my character I needed to work on. There were a few occasions where I initially felt a resentment against some one who pointed out to me a character defect of mine, but with time I realized they were doing this out of love for me & not to deride me or to make them selfs superior to me. They were pointing out to me things that had been a problem for them and by them changing them they had found their sobriety easier and happier and wanted me to have the same thing.

Tib my best thinking and my basic core beliefs & morals were what got me into the rooms of AA, by changing those basic core beliefs & morals I have found a happy free life.

The real date of my last drink is really not that important to me, what is really important to me is the real date of the beginning of my slow walk towards sobriety, which was the day after my last drink.

You know when I was in school I never had a bully try to help me with suggestions, the only thing bullies ever wanted to do was insult me and or try and kick my ass.

I have found that a bully can only be a bully if I let them be a bully.