BP44

I just didn't want to hear the truth about myself. And so I left as soon as I thought I had all I needed. Any seemingly rational excuse would do. Pushy old timers, needy newcomers, AA meeting too far away, AA meeting too close to home, AA meeting too big, AA meeting too small.....you get the picture. Of course, I was amazed when nobody came rushing after me to pull me back in. I mean all important me, well those AA's just really don't care!!!! See, I told you so. And so my little feelings got hurt and I eventually drank again, and again, and again. However, I was willing to put up with just about any BS that came my way in the drinking game. Embarrassed in a bar?....I'll be right back. Oh, you're an obnoxious drunk...here, I'll buy us both one. You know the deal. Just how much would you go through to drink? Dr. Bob implored us to put at least half that zeal into recovering from this seemingly hopeless state. Do you want to live sober or die drunk? That's the real question. Hope you keep coming back. AA isn't for people that need it. It isn't even for people that want it. AA is for people that work it.

TINLIZZY

Bostonluv -

I was at a woman's meeting and my HP was made fun of - ridiculed - and I was asked to share, just after someone tried to refuse to share.

I was "intimitated" into sharing about my HP which was ridiculed. I shared and was mortified.

I came back the next week and "shared" about my resolve not to ever let myself be intimated again, without giving specifics. I did not call anyone (the leader) out or tell about my hurt feelings - I just vehemently stated that I was NOT going to let ANYONE make me do/say anything that I was uncomfortable with. It is OK TO SAY NO!!! -- not no, but . . not no, I'm sorry, not no, I wish/should/could/etc . . ., just NO. No, or no thank you is a full sentence. I was rewarded with resounding encouragement from many in the group. It was really liberating to say that!!

I did not let one person, however hurtful, prevent me from returning to a meeting which is helpful to me. My sobriety is more important!!!

Just say No, or if you please, No Thank You!! It's invigorating -

TinLizzy

Cathy31

I'm sorry about your experience. I hope you won't let it tarnish your whole experience of AA. As with individuals everywhere, some *are* jerks...I don't know what this guy did precisely, perhaps his intent was good - albeit over zealous. I'm sorry you felt so uncomfortable. Remember our primary purpose is to stay sober - and if you're sober - you're doing great!
Cathy31
x

nandm

Do not allow some sick person to have enough control over you to push you out of AA. Just as in any walk of life there are well people, sick people, predators, miserable people, happy people, peaceful people, the list can go on and on. AA is no different. The years someone has sober doesn't even make them well. I have met people with 3 days sober that have had more quality sobriety than some of the people I have met with over 20 years. You have to take what you can use and walk away from the rest. Personally I would find another meeting if I did not feel safe where I was going. There are many meetings out there, each with its own unique personality. There are many groups that would not put up with the behavior that the man showed you. Take the time to help yourself and check out different meetings before you make up your mind to give up the whole AA idea.

barb dwyer

I'm glad you've decided not to let this stop you on your path of recovery.

How disappointing to read, though.

I've found sometimes - you have to talk to a drunk ... as if they're still drunk.
That's one personality trait I'm grateful for having learned tending bar. I now possess the capacity to jump right in someone's 'doo-doo' with both feet. Don't know if it's a GOOD thing , but it sure makes people back off in a big way when needed.

Never ever let anyone or anything get in between you and your recovery.

Recovery has to come first, possibly from now on,
if it's going to work.
I agree with Carol, and surround yourself with women in the Program.