Ever vigilant
No more merlot, more mamma
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Ever vigilant
On Saturday A and I with a friend in tow went to the Pigroast that I've been looking forward to all summer. Friends of mine that are in a band were headlining there. It's a family type event, but there was of course a keg and as the day went on it was obvious that folks were getting a bit torn up. We pretty much hung out with ourselves and a few others that weren't getting drunk. (my band friends are normies).
I thought I was doing really well with it. I usually do. I see my friends play out often, and the bar scene isn't a trigger for me (especially with A there). But, as the night went on, and the folks with kids left..well, I used the bathroom and someone had left a full cup of beer in there and I had a momentary thought..a one second thought.."I can have a swig outa that cup and nobody would know".
I didn't. We left soon after. I got my butt outa that bathroom and ran down all of the reasons why I didn't want/have to drink that beer.
I HATE that it has to be like this. I HATE that even after all this time, I still want to drink. I hate that I can't.
Just wanted to share some whining lol.
Karen
I thought I was doing really well with it. I usually do. I see my friends play out often, and the bar scene isn't a trigger for me (especially with A there). But, as the night went on, and the folks with kids left..well, I used the bathroom and someone had left a full cup of beer in there and I had a momentary thought..a one second thought.."I can have a swig outa that cup and nobody would know".
I didn't. We left soon after. I got my butt outa that bathroom and ran down all of the reasons why I didn't want/have to drink that beer.
I HATE that it has to be like this. I HATE that even after all this time, I still want to drink. I hate that I can't.
Just wanted to share some whining lol.
Karen
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
Yup, ya done good, kiddo. It is normal for an alcoholic to want a drink that just happens to be sitting there looking cool. It's so easy for me to recall how that stuff would taste and the buzz I'd have shortly. Sometimes it's more difficult to recall the painful hangovers, remorse and guilt feelings that I had once again done that stupid behavior. Hmmmmm. I choose sobriety. Ya done good.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Whine away, Karen. I spent the weekend at a resort with my GF, her daughter, and friends, just hanging out by the pool. They're normal drinkers, and it seemed like everyone at the pool had a cold beer, margarita, or something alcoholic. I may have 2 1/2 years of sobriety, but after a day of that it all started looking real good, so it was time for me to leave.
Way to go on being ever vigilant. I can relate.
Way to go on being ever vigilant. I can relate.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
May I remind you of the 10th step promises ?
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. " - AA Big Book, from Into Action, pgs. 84 & 85.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well done Karen, I have found that being an alcoholic tends to make one want to drink, but GP pointed out something that is very true so I found out before even finishing step 4:
In the promises after step 9 it says:
I bolded what everyone working the program needs to keep in mind, for me the promises came true quickly, for some they do come slowly. Why they came true for me quickly I have no idea, but I could care less if I ever had another drink, I still in certain situations have a fleeting thought of a drink, but it is just for a split second.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. " - AA Big Book, from Into Action, pgs. 84 & 85.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
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