sobercompton

I'm one week sober today and I'm beginning to feel a lot better - although I still haven't had a full nights sleep yet.

This week, I've been to 3 meetings and can really see how the AA can help - it's more than I hoped it would be. I’m wondering how long most people wait before approaching a sponsor? I understand all circumstances are different and there is no set period of time. But how long/many meetings did you wait? Just curious

GrouchoTheCat

The sooner the better.

Ask the coffeemaker to reccommend someone. They have a sponsor (that's why they're making the coffee! he he) and they are probably relativly new.

Good luck!

(and remember you're not asking him for a date!)

fraankie

i never saw sobriety coming
so
i pretty much ad-libbed one day at a time
but
it was probably about 2 weeks in that i got a sponsor
he was a lot of help
so
like,
go for it

best
fraankie

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi!

I waited much too long (in my opinion) before getting up the nerve to ask someone to sponsor me. Is there someone in a meeting that you admire? That has many years of sobriety? That seems someone that you can fit with? Go up and ask em..It's as simple as that. :-)

I know it's scary...but nothing to be afraid of. You are helping that person by asking them to sponsor you!

Karen

Tazman53

Well I was scared crapless when I got out of detox, the first meeting I went to I did as they said in detox..... go to at least 90 meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. At the end of the meeting I walked up to a guy that seemed to have his act together and asked him to be my sponsor...... He said NO!!!!

He did agree to be my temporary sponsor, he explained that a sponsor and a sponsee were like a partnership and there had to be a great deal of trust between a sponsor and sponsee.

Long story short he was right, he was my temporay sponsor for 3 months and helped me get through those early days, but due to him traveling so much it was hard for us to get together to work on the steps, so I did get another sponsor with my temporary sponsors blessing.

I guess what I am saying is ask someone to be your "Temporary" sponsor ASAP and then look around for some one with what you want and that you feel you can trust and ask them.

snowgoose

Hi, SoberC: I recall the same dilemma. Finally someone advised me to ask another woman to be my temporary sponsor. This certainly took some of the scariness away. The first person I asked was a woman who I had known and who I thought was "together". Well, it turned out she wasn't the appropriate sponsor for me at all, and I felt that if I continued with her, I'd drink again. I didn't know until later that she was dual-diagnosis and the other problem was mental, bi-polar if I recall correctly. So I got another sponsor who really did work out. When that sponsor moved away, I asked a woman who then totally stopped coming to the rooms. I see her rarely, and your question makes me realize I need - still - to have a sponsor so should be looking around.

Thanks from the Snowgoose.

CarolD

Congratulations on your sober time!


Before you ask ...I sugest you read the official AA guideline

"Questions and Ansers on Sponsorship"

It's usually on the free literature rack at meetings.


Side by side...forward we go!

Barto

Mine told me he was my sponsor (after working with me for a few days or weeks incognito). It worked out great. Prior to that, another man tried to tell me he was going to be my sponsor, but I ran like hell – never went back to that meeting (not for a while anyway). This was in the first few days / weeks of my sobriety.

I'd approach from the rear. That way you can see if he's armed first. Just kidding. I like the coffee maker / commitment person idea – never even thought of that.

GlassPrisoner

My sponsor approached me at my 3rd meeting. He said to call him daily. After about the 3rd or 4th day of calling him, I asked him to sponsor me. It was maybe a week after my first meeting.

Signal30

Basically what CarolID said. That pamphlet has some really good info. Also ask someone at a meeting. Say...

Hey, do you know anybody with a lot of time under their belt who sponsors people???


That question will get you a name or two. The amount of time at least a year or more is important. People with 10 plus years is a matter of opinion depending on the person with well, the opinion.

Someone with years and years of not only sobriety but sponsorship experience is a safe bet. My sponsor has about 17 years, and about 10 of those he has sponsored people. But there are also people with a year or two who sponsor people, who are fantastic.

I'm the type of guy who plays it safe, especially when it comes to something as serious as alcoholism, that's why I recommend a person with some experience.


Tom

Barto

Don’t forget that the sponsor is merely a conduit and that it is really a [God] deal. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear has been my experience.

*amelia*

I understand your question. I too am at the point where I am early in recovery and I want a sponsor. I know who I would like to be my sponsor too...she's awesome and I really respect her but I'm too scared to ask...I guess I'm afraid of the NO word! Let me know how it goes and congratulations on your sober time xxx Amelia xxx

snowgoose

Hey Amelia, please let us know how yours goes, too. I hope you get the nerve to ask her. Don't forget the idea of saying "temporary". It's sorta weird... I once went right up to a friend of mine and said I was going to be her sponsor. I knew she needed me right then. But other than that, they don't do that around here. They wait to be asked. I really enjoyed the stories y'all posted about people announcing they were going to be your sponsors.

TINLIZZY

I fell into my sponsors lap. She'd basically been sponsoring me for weeks and then I "officially" asked her. Raise your hand at a meeting and introduce yourself saying that you're looking for a temporary sponsor. See who responds.

You have nothing to loose!!

TinLizzy

Tazman53

Some of the best meetings I have ever been to have started off with a new comer stating that they want/need a sponsor. This old drunk would suggest to ask someone you would like to be your sponsor rather then asking for a sponsor in a meeting, you may only get a volunteer you do not want and may not be able at first to tell them you do not want them as a sponsor. Of course asking them to be your "Temporary" sponsor first is the easiest way to do it, it allows you both an out without feelings being hurt.

Barto

A temporary can work well. I've had mine for years.