madscientist

Hey everyone, sorry for all the whining posts lately, but this newfound road to sobriety is kicking my butt. I've read many posts from folks saying that they feel so much healthier and renewed after they give up the booze... For me, my physical and mental wellness seems to be taking a huge hit. I feel 10x worse right now than I did while I was drinking. I'm becoming less functional in my everyday life too, which seems completely counter-intuitive. It feels like I'm going through system shock every couple days, with my only real desire to sleep.

I'm not giving up, but it sure is tempting. Blah.

Rowan

Hi madscientist,

I'm sorry you're struggling - how long have you been sober? I'm just wondering if you are still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.
I felt good physically once I stopped drinking, but I became very depressed, and also sought solace in sleep.
It does get better. Have you been to your doc to make sure there are no other pre-existing conditions?

Row

GlassPrisoner

You're at about 30 days according to your profile. If so, all is normal.

He He, as a strange twist of fate, you'll most likely suffer from insomnia soon. And drinkng dreams. Again, all is normal.

Now, hang in there. It gets better ! It really does. You just have to tough it out. Also, I found working on and focusing on a good recovery program (like AA) really helped out at first, and of course took me to new and better places with time.

madscientist

Thanks Rowan.

I've been sober about 37 days now. I'm being treated for some existing depression issues, and I got talk to the doc tomorrow so I'll definitely be chatting with her about this and how it all fits together. I'm guessing that's a big wildcard factor with how I'm feeling but oddly enough this all feels somehow distinctly different than when I get into a depression low. Not sure if that makes any sense.

jbit

I remember picking up my 6 month chip and still feeling like sh*t. Not trying to scare you, just letting you know it happens. It does, however, get better.

madscientist

Thanks GP.

The sleep issues are definitely a beast in themself. I've been going back and forth between the insomnia and the wanting to sleep forever every few days. Feels like my body just doesn't know what to do with itself now!

Just have to be strong for today, right? Tomorrow is a whole new ballgame...

madscientist

Thanks for the candor jbit, it doesn't scare me as much as make me feel a little better that I'm not the only one that feels like this! Sometimes I'm a little too logical for my own liking... If I can at least start to understand better what the road to recovery looks and feels like, it helps plan for it. It just seems like the great unknown some days.

madscientist

Thanks Anvil. I've been trying to get back into taking better care of myself lately. I went to the grocery store and bought vegetables Monday night *gasps*. I can't remember the last time I had fresh veggies around and was actually eating them. I've been trying to drink more water and less caffeine too.

GlassPrisoner

You're definitely in the right place then !!!!! Most alkies think too much. This alkie also happens to know just about everything

madscientist

Whew, glad to hear I'm in the right place. But you already knew that. *grins*

Rowan

It sounds like you're doing the right things to take care of yourself, madscientist.
Keep reaching out, and know that you aren't alone.

madscientist

Thanks Rowan, you all have been a great source of comfort and inspiration to keep fighting for the sober life!

Octoman

Hi Madscientist
Just wasnted to let you know that I fully understand what you are going through too. I dont have as long as you yet (12 days) but I seem to be experiencing increasingly severe physical symptoms. Initially for the first 5 days I felt great and I dared to hope that it would really be that easy. Unfortunately from then on an awful fog seems to have settled over my brain that makes it all but improssible to focus on anything but the most basic task. My work is suffering because of it and I just want it to go away. Add to that gradually increasing headaches and now over the last two days almost flu like symptoms and it is as you described definitely not the feelgood factor I was hoping for at this point. The most disconcerting is a constant flickering at the periphery of my vision and occasionally extreme bouts of dizziness and nausea.

Sorry to be so scientific about it but I though you might appreciate a matter of fact description of the symptoms I have to help you compare to your own experience.

Good luck and dont give up. We'll get through this.

madscientist

Sorry that you're experiencing all that octo. My symptoms have been very much similar. I guess the brain freakout when it's not getting what it wants is similar for many. You're right though, we'll get through this.

Congrats on your sober time octo, stay strong!

Taking5

Mad and Octoman,

Everyone is different, but this will pass. In my case I hardly slept at all in 30 days, then when I finally started sleeping well I couldn't stop! Could hardly drag my sorry butt out of bed!

At least no more hangover, vomiting, etc.

I pick up a 6 month chip in a couple of weeks, and I feel great generally, with a few bad days now and then.

Prior to getting into AA 5-1/2 months ago I spent the last 6 years puring booze down my throat about every day. So I still don't really know what "normal" feels like.

Jfanagle

There is nothing more wonderful and terrible than initial sobriety. I suspect that sudden sobriety would not be nearly so difficult if we simply drank and abused ourselves for only a short period of time. In other words I will bet that 30 days of abuse could be "cured" easily with 30 days of sobriety.

I remember deciding way too many times that I wasn't really happy with this sobriety thing as it felt like hell and it was very uncomfortable. I even remember looking in the Big Book of AA for an 800 number to call and complain to.

If it helps any: I found that taking LONG and at first rather SLOW PACED walks was fantastic to keep me occupied when I was restless, they soon turned into BRISK and LONG sojourns where I was able to enjoy the out of doors and all the gifts that I missed in the dark bars and solitary places I drank.

It was about 90 days into a sober life that I felt better in all aspects of my being, IE. BODY, MIND, SOUL. Just keep coming back it does get better, if it didn't WHY WOULD WE KEEP DOING IT?

scarlati

I'm around Day 35 now and my sleep cycles are kind of messed up too. Sometimes I'll be really sleepy all day long and then go to bed at night and not be able to sleep. During the 1st three weeks I could have slept 24/7. I quit caffeine and alcohol at the same time, though. So I kind of expected this to be a wild ride.

snowgoose

Yes, MadSci, early sobriety can be pretty wierd, was wierd for most of us. At six weeks I went to a meeting and reported that I felt like I was quite crazy (which just incidently was not my pattern) and a guy who I later realized I'd known well since childhood said, "You're right where you're supposed to be". I thought, "What the h*** does he mean by that?" Later realized that he meant it was normal to feel nuts at six weeks sobriety. I vacillated between enjoying my little pink cloud and being bedevilled by this feeling of crazyness. They both passed. It got better.

Best wishes from the Snowgoose.

madscientist

Thanks all for the replies. Trying to reinforce that these things are 'normal', and that it does pass eventually. Heh.

I had spent a little bit of time looking online at the local AA schedule, there happened to be one on my route home from work this evening. I kept looking at it off and on throughout the day today, and had myself convinced that I wasn't going. I ended up working late tonight, then had to run a few errands. Well... I found myself driving by about a half an hour before the meeting was set to start. I'm not sure why, but I stopped. And then I sat in my car for a while. Finally I dragged myself into the meeting.

My mind is still kinda swirling from it all, but I managed to sit for the entire hour and everyone was welcoming.

Still not really sure about all of it...

CarolD

Good for you!
I was so mentally saturated from alcohol
that I don't recall specifics about meetings in early sobbriety
.
There was a red banner over the podium...
"Keep Coming Back...It Works"

I did. It has!