bostonluv

Well, last night I went to meet my Mom at an AA meeting in Santa Rosa. She wants to quit drinking also and I was hoping she would because I was supposed to move in with her in about a month. I'd like to save money, room there and then relocate to Vegas eventually. She got ticked off, couldn't find that meeting and wanted to head home. So I headed back to her place and of course, instead of going to a meeting myself, ended up having some wine with her, which led to some brandy, which led me texting my ex boyfriend about how much I missed him. I couldn't sleep a wink last night. What a stupid thing to do. All I can do is shake it off and go to my meeting today and not drink. I thought I was stronger than that and am very disappointed in myself. I don't think living with her is going to be a good idea either because we are both alcoholics and she isn't sure she can quit. Thanks for listening....

GlassPrisoner

Some of my biggest, longest, wildest drunks have been with dear ol' Ma.

Yeah, I'd advise against it.

Brush yourself off, go back to AA and announce yourself as a newcomer. Worse things have happened. Like not going back.

CarolD

(+) (+) (+)
Mega Hugs and Prayers for both of you coming your way.

Many of us had false starts efore we finally quit...
you will be welcomed back in AA ...

Astro

My parents were my favorite drinking partners, we were best buddies when we bellied up to the bar. After Mom died I'd take the kids to an American Legion hall where Dad and I would drink ourselves silly while the kids played pool. Those were the good old days, but the time that I share with my father now is even better without the alcohol. OK, I'll admit the old man tries my patience at times, but it's nothing to drink over;-)

Remember, "The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking". Just keep comin' back, eh?

parentrecovers

support to you, boston. it's a tricky disease...

blessings, k

caraway

It must be incredibly difficult for you bostonluv, having an alcoholic mother when you're trying to give up. My mother was the opposite, brought up in a strict methodist environment. I only once saw her slightly tipsy, it was when I was 16 and baby sitting for the people they were out with. When they got back she was all relaxed and light hearted and a bit giggly - the opposite of her usual self. She never did that again. At the time I wished she would do it more often, I liked her like that! So I really can't imagine what it is like to have a mother that not only drinks too much but will actually sit and get drunk with you! Amazing.

snowgoose

bostonluv:

My guess is it's a very tricky situation when an activity you share with a parent is drinking. Makes me think back.... Mom definitely was not an alcoholic but she loved her beer in the evening.... you know, I'd forgotten about this. And it was something we shared when our relationship really wasn't that good. By this time, my parents were separated and I was out of college and teaching. Then I'd go back to my little hometown where my father, who may have been alcoholic, would have not only beer but bourbon to share. I did not have a good relationship with him, either. Until a mature adult, I didn't realize how damaging my mother's competitive putdowns were to me while I knew from early on that my father's unpredictable, explosive temper was horrid. And the good times I shared with each involved booze. No wonder I'm an alcoholic, recovering in AA, One Day at a Time.

Thanks for reminding me. I wish you the best. Please let us know how you are doing.

Blessings from the Snowgoose.

bostonluv

Thank you for your responses. I am so grateful I have a place to be accountable. I did go to a meeting tonight and have already planned out my meetings for this week. No excuses! I always feel better after I've gone to one. I get my "fix" there.

CarolD

Yes....meetings are vital for me too!

Blessings

earthmama

Welcome back!

My mom was one of my "drinking buddies" as well....and now I am two years sober and she's still at it full force. It put a strain on our relationship when I quit, and she (perhaps consciously, perhaps subconsciously) undermined my newfound sobriety by constantly offering me wine, complaining about family gatherings not being any "fun", etc. Thankfully, I had AA, and people to call, and I was able to stay sober. It sure would have been hard to have been living with her at that time.

We're glad you're back!! Keep going to those AA meetings

Cekiya

Thanks for reminding me why I need to be here. I would wake up with not only a raging hangover, but the embarrassment of knowing that I did something that I would NEVER do while sober--like sending emails or making phone calls to people who need to be out of my life. On top of that, I often couldn't remember what I had said since I did it mid-blackout! When I see my behavior put into writing, it makes me cringe. But, it also makes me feel very grateful for the opportunity to read and learn from all of you.

You are like everyone of us--human. Just get back on track and go forward. I figure if I take three steps forward and one back, I'm still two steps ahead of where I started.

Have a great day!
Cekiya

GrouchoTheCat

We don't shoot our wounded around here!

If you fall, just keep getting back up and learn the lesson.

And as my Sponsor says, put away the bat and quit beating yourself up! What's past is past, just keep moving forward.

Best,

Ted

sugarssweetpea

My dad & I were never really that close growing up. Sometimes even wondered if he even loved me at all. Always fought for his attention. Then I became like him, drank like him, even shared drugs with him & I became his favorite daughter. I finally won his love.....or did I? I am now 5 1/2 years sober & my dad still drinks. We really don't have much to say & hardly talk. I live in another state & he never even came to see my two children when they were born. So what I actually did win, was a trip down alcoholism/substance abuse road while being severely insecure & unloveable (in my mind).

I feel that not moving in with your mom is a good idea. Maybe if she sees you doing well, you could be an encouragement in her recovery. Best to you.