delilahz

Hello All. I am happy to have found this site and am eager to be sober. I am on day one and am hungover as I type this. I am young, way to young to be so dependent on this stuff. It began in college and has followed my every step since. I come from a long line of very determined alcoholics and wish to no longer bear the weight of this addiction myself. I see numerous ideas and helpful words to help me here in these posts. My problem is that I don't know how to be around anyone (friend or new aquaintance) without being buzzed. I guess I feel like I am not cool or funny when I am not drunk. Or perhaps I am so use to be numb to anxiety or searching for conversation that the thought of feeling a real emotion seems unreasonable to me. Who knows... I just don't want to drink anymore and I want to enjoy life without drinking 12 beers or 8 mixed drinks a night. There must be a way to really live and enjoy it wihtout blurring out the world. Just thoughts... sorry for carrying on... its the hangover talking. I wish everyone luck and am respectful of everyone's motivation to try.

CarolD

Congratulations on making a wise choice

Sobriety Rocks!

Welcome to SR
We are here to support and share info with you.

ladyjane

Welcome delilahz
I know you'll be glad you came!!
_______________
Trish

delilahz

Thanks you all. I am still midway through day one and I already strted crying to my fella. I am not sure if I was crying b/c he upset me or b/c I know I can't drink in a couple of hours.. What in the world am I going to do tonight!

laurenlanai25

go to an AA meeting!! look up meetings in your area online!

caraway

welcome delilahz, its a great site this, I'm finding it very helpful. When I was your age I thought I was too quiet, boring etc. If I had my time again, I'd have valued myself more from the start, I'm still learning to do that now! So, you give up the booze now and start living - as they say in AA "to thine own self be true". Keep posting!

Emimily

hey delilahz...
i know the feeling when you say you're too young to be an addict
i got sober at 21
talk about feeling like a loser... but it's like this-21 year olds who aren't alcoholics don't generally put broken glass in their purse in a blackout.
i did.
i also fell asleep on a lawn, made my then-boyfriend carry/drag me off of it, only to yell at him for "controlling me" in my next breath
happy birthday to me!
so if you think you've got a problem, i'd say check out an AA meeting
there are more young people than you think
and these days, i have more fabulous girls in my life than ever
some of the boys are ok too
but for real, if you think you have a problem, you owe it to yourself to give it a shot
if it doesn't work, you didn't lose anything, right?

take good care, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me.
good luck.

Astro

Welcome delilah! This is a pretty cool place to hang around when you're not buzzed. Or try an AA meeting. You might be surprised at how cool people are when they're clean and sober!

GlassPrisoner

I'm not cool or funny when I'm drunk, I just think I am.

BTW, welcome !

delilahz

Thanks for all your kind words. I was researching the AA thing and reveiwed the 12 steps, and not to be some anti-God person or anything, but all of the steps seem to include a reference to God. I am not clear on my feelings about that topic and I definately do not want to join a program that will be focused on it. I think that is something they should consider modernizing to fit into more people's vision of a higher power. Just my thoughts on it! I could be totally wrong about the 12 steps... the Internet isn't always 100% accurate... who knew?! What do you guys think?

Astro

I wasn't real big on the God thing either, and AA sure seemed like a cult to me. But I stuck around, and found that having a "God of my understanding" is a very cool thing indeed.

GlassPrisoner

All that is required is believing in a power greater than yourself. Call that power whatever you want. Bob, Doorknob, Buddah, or Bruce.

My Higher Power is God, but many people use the collective conscience of AA (the group) or other things. I know a guy who believes in the power of "Good".

Besides, work the first step first. Are you powerless over alcohol ? That is, if you get a buzz going, do you lose control of your drinking ? When you're not drinking, are you thinking about the next time you can drink ?

It's a simple program. Not easy mind you, but simple.

stone

Yea they use the word God a lot and it puts people off! They also use the phrase 'higher power' and by god they mean the god of your understanding of god or higher power.
I heard a guy talk tonight and his HP was love

stone

Thats what I used to do the steps. Every time I saw the word 'god' I thought of it as 'good'.

Some people dont even do the steps and stay sober purely by going to meetings, I know a guy been sober 20 years in AA who is just begining the steps!

snowgoose

Dear DelilahZ:

Early sobriety can be pretty wierd, depending on just how far down the slippery slope of alcoholism you've gone. When I stopped, I didn't have DTs or other immediate physical withdrawal problems but some folks do. Sometimes medical intervention is needed, just be aware. Those folks get themselves to a detox center if they're lucky.

Even without DTs, etc., you can expect to feel quite strange as the booze starts to leave your system. It's a good idea to read the "stickys" at the top of the forums, and a lot of the helpful posts, if you haven't already researched these issues.

I found the God thing quite off-putting, too, at first. I really resented having anything around religion crammed down my throat. But I found that it really helped that a lot of others had the same reaction and talked about it, and that it says "God as we understand him". That leaves a lot of room to be an agnostic or atheist or whatever. There's a chapter in the Big Book of AA that addresses this. The people in AA told me that I did have to put my faith in some kind of Higher Power in order for the program to work for me. Please listen to these folks and please go to these meetings as it does work when nothing else seems to. The option for most of us has been to keep drinking and being miserable.

Blessings and best wishes from the Snowgoose.

delilahz

Good advice... I guess now that excuse has been terminated! Plus, a big part of my problem could be that I work from home in a town I haven't lived in very long so I have got nothing but idle time on my hands.. not good! It would be a good way to get out and for a good cause.

GlassPrisoner

Yup.

In general, alcoholics are isolantionists. There's a whole world out there,and people too !!!

I didn't want the fellowship at first. The smiles, the hugs. I thought it was all phoney.
Who want's to sit in a room with a bunch of strangers ?

After a little while though, I started looking forward to meetings. I've made so many new friends, and they all understand what I'm going (or been) through.

CarolD

A few years AA came out with the 4th Edition of our Big Book.
Priior to printing...
there was lots of talk about modernizing the basic text and Steps.

Members were encouraged to contact AAWS with input.
Here is what I wrote...

"When the effects of unchecked alcoholism ..
.jails, mental insitutions...death
change ....then modernizing might be the way to go"

Thanks for letting me share

leeside

Hi delilahz,

Learning to like the sober you is a really "big" step in the road to recovery.

It is also like starting over and you have to learn how to talk and act again.

You'll make it! Just remember a trip of a thousand miles begins with one step and you have taken it.

unholy_mess

Hi, I understand how hard it is to try to deal with this at a young age...I was trying to get sober before I could legally drink. And at 22 (in like 2 weeks!!!), I'm still struggling with the fact that I feel way too young for this.
I also am familiar with the feeling of trying to numb something....push something down...etc...
Good luck...it's a long road, but soooo possible and sooo worth it!!