im so sorry for so many threads but i have so many questions.. heres another
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: london
Posts: 67
im so sorry for so many threads but i have so many questions.. heres another
i feel like such a hypocrit and a failure cos im still drinking even though im starting aa and to tell you the truth, i'm lookin forward to the meetings. earlier, 4 the 1st time i was sitting drinking and a thought slightly drifted into my head- 'i'd love 2 be in an aa meeting now, with people who understand, rather than here alone with my drink'. I just hate thinking every1 here and at aa will judge me cos i havent stopped yet.... im so sorry i cant do it just now...
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I just hate thinking every1 here and at aa will judge me cos i havent stopped yet
(Just kidding)Just keep going. Next time, try not to drink between meetings. I'm glad you're enjoying it though. Isn't great to be around those that understand ? People just like you ?
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi Maya, no-one will judge you. You are one of 'us', AA is supposed to be about the newcomer and the only requirement to be there is a desire to quit. It would be silly if you had to have conquered alcoholism before you could join AA. 
Somebody said exactly that in AA tonight! They relapsed for a while and that was what they said they thought during the relapse.
'i'd love 2 be in an aa meeting now, with people who understand, rather than here alone with my drink'.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: london
Posts: 67
thanks u guys..It's odd that 2night ( i cudnt get 2 a meeting)when i was alone drinking i kind of felt like i was 'missing out on the fun', thats the only way i can explain it. like a load of my m8s wer meeting up and i wasnt there. How can I get all THAT after 1 meeting down here? i am a newcomer, and want/have a compulsion 2 drink, yet i still want to go 2 meetings cos i WANT 2 find my higher power. is this ok?
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: tennessee
Posts: 592
Did you get a phone list?If you didnt pick one up use it.An old timer at one group I visit has 40 years said he picked up white chips for 2 years think he had over two hundred but he kept coming back.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Originally Posted by baggervance 
Did you get a phone list?If you didnt pick one up use it.An old timer at one group I visit has 40 years said he picked up white chips for 2 years think he had over two hundred but he kept coming back.
I've seen a lot of people pick up newcomer and 30 day chips repeatedly, but they keep coming back. And, eventually, they pick up 60, 90, 6 months.....ODAAT
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
You will not be judged. Believe me. The Big Book is very emphatic about this. it is clearly advised that if you are not convinced that you are powerless over alcohol, then you should continue to try to drink in a controlled fashion. Do it more than once. Do it for however long it takes to be done. I needed every drink I took to get to where I am today. Not one less, not one more. It takes what it takes. And here's the kicker...we all carry the message one way or the other. Last week some one in my home group carried the message by overdose. He decided not to keep coming back, and now he never will. Some have to die for us to keep our chair in the rooms. So, keep coming because there is hope that one day you will decide to stay sober for 24 hours. When you are ready to quit the solution will be right in front of you.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Originally Posted by BP44
Last week some one in my home group carried the message by overdose. He decided not to keep coming back, and now he never will. Some have to die for us to keep our chair in the rooms. So, keep coming because there is hope that one day you will decide to stay sober for 24 hours. When you are ready to quit the solution will be right in front of you.
What a chilling post. Thank you.
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