MTBChick

Hi there I generally post over in the Friends and Family forum but I have a question about how I should handle a situation that I have encountered recently with two different people. Essentially, on two different occasions, one time while I was hanging out talking with mountain biking friends after a group ride, and another time at work while chatting with a group of co-workers, a person from the group at some point in the group conversation has either said randomly (i.e. they brought the topic of drinking and their drinking habits up not me) I'm an Alcoholic (mind you it is said by them in a serious tone at first but following people probing and asking questions they try to joke it off) and the other states I'm going to go on the wagon, I think I need to go to AA and do the whole 12 step stuff. When I asked further questions they stated that the night before after friends had left that they had stayed up till 1 or 2 in the morning still drinking and the friends had left at 10pm...Yet they too joked off their statement. So, my question is what do I do or say in these situations. I have seen first hand what the disease of alcoholism does to the alcoholic and those around them. What would you do? So far I've done and or said nothing.

Many Thanks
~MTB

Music

Keep doing that unless you're asked a direct question, then be honest.

Astro

It's a program of attraction. I try to lead by example, sometimes make brief suggestions, and let God take it from there. I know from my own experience that no one else could get me into recovery, it was up to me to make that choice.

Jfanagle

The longer we are sober and actively involved in the day to day "real" world, the greater the instances of the discussion regarding alcohol abuse, either in the first person or about "others" (friends and families) alcohol problems.

When this occurs while I am present and a party to the discussion I have listened, and if asked to comment I found that simply saying, "I tried being an alcoholic for about 20 plus years, never was very good at it, so I gave up drinking and have had surprisingly good luck at that."

If someone has asked me to explain that silly statement it has usually been after the main group has moved on and usually it was someone who really did have what they felt were genuine concerns and questions. I have then shared my experience with them to whatever degree they have asked for my help. Every so often I find myself with a "newcomer" friend in the rooms of AA.

As Astro said, along with the Big Book of AA, it is a program of attraction. Here in Southern California we don't have to recruit, there seems to be an abundant supply of alcoholics.

Jon

Macphisto

in a group setting I would not say anything. If someone talks to you one on one regarding the subject then I would say give all the advice and experience you have with alcoholism.

I was confronted once by one of my friends in a group setting with other friends and it made me extremely mad that he would suggest I drink too much. I knew it was the rtruth but that wasn't the appropriate setting for him to discuss it and I let him know later. At the time We were also talking about drinking and making jokes & laughing about how "wasted" we got at certain parties and so forth.

I did end up discussing with my friend that I did have a probem but that it was personal and didn't want to share with our group of friends.