Why do I want to drink sometimes?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
dEar Mike
I can soo relate to you. When life is going well, and there are no crises, I feel like it was ME who did all that. It feels like maybe I have finally gotten a handle on the manageability thing.
I also used to stay around the edges of AA when I was doing well. This way i can distance myself from all those with serious problems...(lol)
Long story short: After 13 years sober, I drank again. Yes. I could control it. For 3 years actually. But, suddenly, as if a fire took hold, my alcoholism flamed up, and i was drinking more, drinking earlier, and beginning to fail at everything that I had gained in sobriety. I began to isolate more than was healthy. I lost my capacity and taste for self honesty. I compromised my values alot. And i started to lose the things that make life worth living. I becae depressed.
Luckily, I made it back to AA and found SR also.
now, i attend 5 meetings per week and chair as often as possible which keeps me active and humble.
like we know, you gotta give it away to keep it. Think of sobriety as a drop of water. If you keep it on your own little rock, it will soon dry up. If you put it back into the ocean, it will forever be in circulation, available for everyone.
good luck
I can soo relate to you. When life is going well, and there are no crises, I feel like it was ME who did all that. It feels like maybe I have finally gotten a handle on the manageability thing.
I also used to stay around the edges of AA when I was doing well. This way i can distance myself from all those with serious problems...(lol)
Long story short: After 13 years sober, I drank again. Yes. I could control it. For 3 years actually. But, suddenly, as if a fire took hold, my alcoholism flamed up, and i was drinking more, drinking earlier, and beginning to fail at everything that I had gained in sobriety. I began to isolate more than was healthy. I lost my capacity and taste for self honesty. I compromised my values alot. And i started to lose the things that make life worth living. I becae depressed.
Luckily, I made it back to AA and found SR also.
now, i attend 5 meetings per week and chair as often as possible which keeps me active and humble.
like we know, you gotta give it away to keep it. Think of sobriety as a drop of water. If you keep it on your own little rock, it will soon dry up. If you put it back into the ocean, it will forever be in circulation, available for everyone.
good luck
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