My Day Off ... by Barb Dwyer
same planet...different world
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
My Day Off ... by Barb Dwyer
Yesterday a man from the Fellowship asked me to spend the afternoon with him.
I know - it was the first thing *I* thought, too, especially since it's known throughout the group that he's going through a divorce right now ... bla bla bla.
So I sat with him first thing when he asked, and established intentions and all that.
(trust me - HUGE advancement for moi')
He came to the speaker meeting, and told me there were some things I talked about he really wanted to discuss with me. I'm told the talk went really well. I can't say for myself - I don't remember what I said. I know I spoke about things I wasn't going to, and didn't talk about other things ... that I'd intended to.
I'm told that's quite common, as well.
Anyway - back to this thing yesterday ....
He's got 20 years sober ... so of course, curiousity alone made me say okay, (after laying a few ground rules, of course) and we met after the noon meeting. He treated me to lunch, stopped and bought me a particular vitamin he insisted would help with my kidney disorder (I guess I should throw in here that he's a research chemist from the college here and knows about that kind of stuff) and went up the mountain to this tract of land he owns. It's not developed yet, 'pristine'... only the camper he's living in while it's still warm weather, and some lawn chairs and a fire pit.
Anyway - the continental divide crosses his property three times ... so it's ... high.
Probably, I dunno 7600? - 8000 ft? Somwhere around there.
Just wonderously beautiful. Little creek, couple of springs, good dense tree cover, interesting rock formations ... oh, yeah.
So we get up there, I get the 'tour', we settle in beside the creek in lawn chairs; and he starts telling me about his sons - both in the military, one just back from Iraq. Then he starts talking PTSD. The one son who's just gotten home is 'syndrome-ing' out in a big way and he's (the dad) is very concerned.
He wants them to come see me. The one son, as soon as he gets moved into the place he's bought. Right away, if not sooner. The other - as soon as his tour is finished. Dad is convinced they're both in a good bit of trouble, emotionally.
I was honored, humbled ... and frankly kinda stunned.
I mean, he's got 20 years! He can handle this himself, I figured. So I pretty much TOLD him that. Also reminded him I'm no doctor, and all that disclaimer jargon we're all so driven to say time and again. Then he told me that he felt 'compelled' by Spirit to try and get me involved during my talk. Which included me discussing my own working with CPTSD.
Anyway- that's not even the thing -
Here's the thing ...
Somehow, during listening to him tell about his sons ... it occurred to me that THIS is how an affliction ... becomes a gift. I'm not 'cured' ... I never will be. PTSD is an injury to the PERSONALITY ... and difficult to diagnose, to treat ... exactly like alcoholism. But I know a lot about it. It struck me that this is a good bit like living the the principles of AA, you know?
When we can give something from a place of sharing to another... our affliction/disorder/syndrome/addiction/disease ... becomes our gift, and how our gifts ... when freely given, not SOLD ... become our power.
Man, I hope this makes sense.
I have to apologize-
I threw out my back this afternoon - and had to resort to my non-narcotic painkillers ... so if this message doesn't make sense ... let's say it's the meds... LOL
I thought about quite a number of you this past 'days off' - I hope everyone is well and I'll be back day after tomorrow. Gotta give my back a day or to to 'pop' back into place.
You're all in my heart - and in my prayers!
love,
barb
I know - it was the first thing *I* thought, too, especially since it's known throughout the group that he's going through a divorce right now ... bla bla bla.
So I sat with him first thing when he asked, and established intentions and all that.
(trust me - HUGE advancement for moi')
He came to the speaker meeting, and told me there were some things I talked about he really wanted to discuss with me. I'm told the talk went really well. I can't say for myself - I don't remember what I said. I know I spoke about things I wasn't going to, and didn't talk about other things ... that I'd intended to.
I'm told that's quite common, as well.
Anyway - back to this thing yesterday ....
He's got 20 years sober ... so of course, curiousity alone made me say okay, (after laying a few ground rules, of course) and we met after the noon meeting. He treated me to lunch, stopped and bought me a particular vitamin he insisted would help with my kidney disorder (I guess I should throw in here that he's a research chemist from the college here and knows about that kind of stuff) and went up the mountain to this tract of land he owns. It's not developed yet, 'pristine'... only the camper he's living in while it's still warm weather, and some lawn chairs and a fire pit.
Anyway - the continental divide crosses his property three times ... so it's ... high.
Probably, I dunno 7600? - 8000 ft? Somwhere around there.
Just wonderously beautiful. Little creek, couple of springs, good dense tree cover, interesting rock formations ... oh, yeah.
So we get up there, I get the 'tour', we settle in beside the creek in lawn chairs; and he starts telling me about his sons - both in the military, one just back from Iraq. Then he starts talking PTSD. The one son who's just gotten home is 'syndrome-ing' out in a big way and he's (the dad) is very concerned.
He wants them to come see me. The one son, as soon as he gets moved into the place he's bought. Right away, if not sooner. The other - as soon as his tour is finished. Dad is convinced they're both in a good bit of trouble, emotionally.
I was honored, humbled ... and frankly kinda stunned.
I mean, he's got 20 years! He can handle this himself, I figured. So I pretty much TOLD him that. Also reminded him I'm no doctor, and all that disclaimer jargon we're all so driven to say time and again. Then he told me that he felt 'compelled' by Spirit to try and get me involved during my talk. Which included me discussing my own working with CPTSD.
Anyway- that's not even the thing -
Here's the thing ...
Somehow, during listening to him tell about his sons ... it occurred to me that THIS is how an affliction ... becomes a gift. I'm not 'cured' ... I never will be. PTSD is an injury to the PERSONALITY ... and difficult to diagnose, to treat ... exactly like alcoholism. But I know a lot about it. It struck me that this is a good bit like living the the principles of AA, you know?
When we can give something from a place of sharing to another... our affliction/disorder/syndrome/addiction/disease ... becomes our gift, and how our gifts ... when freely given, not SOLD ... become our power.
Man, I hope this makes sense.
I have to apologize-
I threw out my back this afternoon - and had to resort to my non-narcotic painkillers ... so if this message doesn't make sense ... let's say it's the meds... LOL
I thought about quite a number of you this past 'days off' - I hope everyone is well and I'll be back day after tomorrow. Gotta give my back a day or to to 'pop' back into place.
You're all in my heart - and in my prayers!
love,
barb
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by barb dwyer 
When we can give something from a place of sharing to another... our affliction/disorder/syndrome/addiction/disease ... becomes our gift, and how our gifts ... when freely given, not SOLD ... become our power.
Man, I hope this makes sense.
Man, I hope this makes sense.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Barb you make sense to me, now you know some one who is not an alcoholic may not get it, but I beleive we do! LOL
Keep giving it away hon, I never cease to be amazed that no matter how much I give away, some how I always get more in return.
Keep giving it away hon, I never cease to be amazed that no matter how much I give away, some how I always get more in return.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Of course it makes sense. I can even understand him asking you to minister to his sons. Sometimes family is not the best person to carry the message.
Take care of your back. We want you around for a long, long time......
Take care of your back. We want you around for a long, long time......
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: whoville
Posts: 23
nothing wrong with spending time with opposite sex aa's, IF the motive is pure, and if neither of you are newbies. Many folks meet and marry in the fellowship. Though, as he is vulnerable in going thru a divorce, might be good idea to be a friend to him til he has recovered emotionally.
Then.......who knows, right?
Then.......who knows, right?
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