So tired of being alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 118
So tired of being alone
I have a boyfriend - but I feel like he is never there for me. Everything I go through and feel I do all by myself and I'm SICK AND TIRED OF IT!
I was doing fine, and then I got the rug whipped out from me when the company that just hired me (I was supposed to start today) called me and told me they checked my past employers and changed their mind. Because I'm a disgusting drunk I have quit alot of jobs - which is no surprise, my past finally caught up with me, I knew that would happen eventually.
I am totally alone though, everything I go through in my life is by myself - my boyfriend is so wrapped up in his job, I can never talk to him. when i call my mom she just takes over the coversation and makes it about her. my friends are busy with their own lives and never have time for me. I'm going through so much and there is no one i can talk with or who will listen
I might as well live on an island in the middle of f*cking nowhere - because thats basically where I am!
I was doing fine, and then I got the rug whipped out from me when the company that just hired me (I was supposed to start today) called me and told me they checked my past employers and changed their mind. Because I'm a disgusting drunk I have quit alot of jobs - which is no surprise, my past finally caught up with me, I knew that would happen eventually.
I am totally alone though, everything I go through in my life is by myself - my boyfriend is so wrapped up in his job, I can never talk to him. when i call my mom she just takes over the coversation and makes it about her. my friends are busy with their own lives and never have time for me. I'm going through so much and there is no one i can talk with or who will listen
I might as well live on an island in the middle of f*cking nowhere - because thats basically where I am!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Washington D.C.
Posts: 21
Thank God for finding this group - I feel the same way. You're not alone, or going through this alone. You're being heard, and I care. I hear how much everyone on this site cares. This is a village that posesses the strength to raise us all up higher, I'm convinced of it. Let it give you comfort and company. Be well.
-no....
-no....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I too felt that way until I immersed myself in AA.
Today, this former isolationist/introvert/recluse has 30+ numbers in his cell phone. Also, I went to a large regional AA gathering a while back, and I lost track of how many people recognized me by name.
I thought I liked to isolate, to be a rugged individualist. I found the fwllowship one of the many blessings of recovery.
Today, this former isolationist/introvert/recluse has 30+ numbers in his cell phone. Also, I went to a large regional AA gathering a while back, and I lost track of how many people recognized me by name.
I thought I liked to isolate, to be a rugged individualist. I found the fwllowship one of the many blessings of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
I agree with many of the posts already put in here. I am not alone anymore. What was so lonely and "aloneness" was me in my using career! I was unemployable, many times homeless, stayed far away from everyone! Today that is NOT the case!!! Hang in there. . .this place really helps. . .so do meetings and sponsors.
Hugs to you. . .
Hugs to you. . .
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
My entire life was spent as a "Lone Wolf", I did things by myself that more then one person told me I was crazy for doing alone. In the final years of my drinking 95% of it was done alone, I had no friends, I had a family but they had become a seperate entity that due to my drinking I was no longer a part of.
After about 30 years of drinking I would decide to quit drinking, as usual I tried it alone, hey I was a Lone Wolf, I did not need any one! Needless to say I always wound up going back to my old companion....... BOOZE!
Once alcohol had beaten me down to the point I was willing to ask for help to stop drinking and stay stopped. At this point is where I found out I was not alone!!! I first found this out in detox, it was full of people just like me, they were loners, even when drinking in a bar we were really alone with our alcohol, now we were together, helping each other try and find a way out.
When I got out of detox I did as they said and went to AA. In AA I not only discovered that I was far from being alone, but it was full of people who had stopped drinking and stayed stopped!
I was no longer alone, I had rooms full of sober alcoholics who knew the way out of that lonesome hole I had spent 40 years digging and they were happy to share with me the way they got out of that hole.
I now have people who call me every day most of the time just to talk. I call people just to talk. I have real friends that I can call at any hour of the day, if I need help they will help me and expect nothing in return! I will do the same for them.
These people loved me until I learned with thier assistance to love myself.
When I was drinking or trying to stop in the past I chose to be alone!
I am now sober due to the fact that I am no longer alone, I can go anywhere and find rooms full of friends. I will be spending the next 2-3 weeks out of town and will have a lot of time on my hands, I could choose to be alone, but for this alcoholics being alone is a dangerous place to be, I focus strictly on me and I know that if I do that long enough I am going to be at a minimum a miserable SOB or I am going to drink.
I am chosing to go to every meeting I can while out of town, all of my friends will be there even though I have never met any of them yet, I know they are there, waiting for me with a welcome hand, a smile, a hug, support, and converstion.
After about 30 years of drinking I would decide to quit drinking, as usual I tried it alone, hey I was a Lone Wolf, I did not need any one! Needless to say I always wound up going back to my old companion....... BOOZE!
Once alcohol had beaten me down to the point I was willing to ask for help to stop drinking and stay stopped. At this point is where I found out I was not alone!!! I first found this out in detox, it was full of people just like me, they were loners, even when drinking in a bar we were really alone with our alcohol, now we were together, helping each other try and find a way out.
When I got out of detox I did as they said and went to AA. In AA I not only discovered that I was far from being alone, but it was full of people who had stopped drinking and stayed stopped!
I was no longer alone, I had rooms full of sober alcoholics who knew the way out of that lonesome hole I had spent 40 years digging and they were happy to share with me the way they got out of that hole.
I now have people who call me every day most of the time just to talk. I call people just to talk. I have real friends that I can call at any hour of the day, if I need help they will help me and expect nothing in return! I will do the same for them.
These people loved me until I learned with thier assistance to love myself.
When I was drinking or trying to stop in the past I chose to be alone!
I am now sober due to the fact that I am no longer alone, I can go anywhere and find rooms full of friends. I will be spending the next 2-3 weeks out of town and will have a lot of time on my hands, I could choose to be alone, but for this alcoholics being alone is a dangerous place to be, I focus strictly on me and I know that if I do that long enough I am going to be at a minimum a miserable SOB or I am going to drink.
I am chosing to go to every meeting I can while out of town, all of my friends will be there even though I have never met any of them yet, I know they are there, waiting for me with a welcome hand, a smile, a hug, support, and converstion.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
Hi, Fall Girl, out there in beautiful Seattle (which at times I miss, having lived there for 4 years):
I feel so alone too. But I felt alone when I was with my boyfriend in Seattle since he was a loner/isolater. I always feel alone and finally have begun to realize that life, mine at least, is sort of like that. I went to the 7am meeting this morning. Someone I've known the whole 18+ years I've been in the program was celebrating a year following some painful "experimentation". I focused on letting him know how much he means to me and on the topic brought up by another member. That helped. Still, after I gave (and got) a couple of hugs when the meeting was over, folks broke up into their little cliques for whatever reason and I was excluded so gently slid away. The other women tend to be especially unfriendly (some even hostile) to me. I guess it's progress, not perfection, as the miracle is that we are sober although we retain some of the behaviors we had when we were out there.
One interesting lesson I have learned over and over is that when I smile, which I nearly always do, nobody knows that I feel pain. And I look approachable, if anyone is so inclined. I'm more than willing to approach others but do take their cue if I'm not welcome. And that does happen. And I simply don't approach people who look unpleasant which is why I try to look pleasant. In this town, there are those who take a smile and a pleasant look as the mark of a fool, but I know that and try not to care, rather to set a good example.
When I 'm in the actual meetings, I don't feel alone. Quite the opposite. Keep the faith. I'm trying.
Cheers from the Snowgoose.
I feel so alone too. But I felt alone when I was with my boyfriend in Seattle since he was a loner/isolater. I always feel alone and finally have begun to realize that life, mine at least, is sort of like that. I went to the 7am meeting this morning. Someone I've known the whole 18+ years I've been in the program was celebrating a year following some painful "experimentation". I focused on letting him know how much he means to me and on the topic brought up by another member. That helped. Still, after I gave (and got) a couple of hugs when the meeting was over, folks broke up into their little cliques for whatever reason and I was excluded so gently slid away. The other women tend to be especially unfriendly (some even hostile) to me. I guess it's progress, not perfection, as the miracle is that we are sober although we retain some of the behaviors we had when we were out there.
One interesting lesson I have learned over and over is that when I smile, which I nearly always do, nobody knows that I feel pain. And I look approachable, if anyone is so inclined. I'm more than willing to approach others but do take their cue if I'm not welcome. And that does happen. And I simply don't approach people who look unpleasant which is why I try to look pleasant. In this town, there are those who take a smile and a pleasant look as the mark of a fool, but I know that and try not to care, rather to set a good example.
When I 'm in the actual meetings, I don't feel alone. Quite the opposite. Keep the faith. I'm trying.
Cheers from the Snowgoose.
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