AWEDA

My husband was just kicked out of a half way house. He has been to rehab 5 times in the past 17 years, 2 mental hospitals, jail, a DUI, lost his job of 23 years and has a restraining order against him from me. Every time stupid me thinks this is it he will change this time he doesn't. Is it possible to never reach bottom or his bottom will be 6 feet under? He also has cirrhosis of the liver so health issues are major. I have filed for divorce and keep working on me. We have 2 beautiful children he has totally missed out on their lives,the insanity is endless.... Do I have to accept the fact that he will never be sober? I hoped that one day he could have a healthy relationship with these great kids but it seems it will never be. My heart is aching for my children who will never have "a father". Please are some people just "hopeless"?

Tazman53

AWEDA there are far more alcoholics who have died from alcoholism then have recovered by a long shot.

Hope springs eternal in all things, he may yet hit his bottom hard enough to recover, but if he already has cirrosis of the liver and is still drinking............. well sadly I would highly reccommend that you do what is best for you and the kids, this is his issue and only he holds the key to his sobriety.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi..

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I have to say that I agree with Taz. I lost my Mom to cirrhosis.

Big hugs

Karen

splendra

(((((AWEDA))))

I have a Niece that sounds a lot like your H except she is only 30 years old but she has given up her children and also has late stage cirrhosis. She has been in rehab so many times but, she claims to be smarter than everyone else. Drinking is the only thing that matters to her... I think her children are much better off with out her who needs a mom like her.....

Peter

The recovery literature tells that some of us (alcoholics) will....... "go on to the bitter end"........What is the bitter end? Prison , Institutions and Death.......

BaldHeadedJohn

There's nothing you can do that you haven't already done. The rest is up to him. Protect yourself and your family that best you can. It's unfortunate, but you said it best. Some people's bottoms are indeed 6 feet under. I wish you well.

BHJ

Music

As difficult as it may be, you should probably just move on with your life and take care of the kids. Try Al-anon. There's a lot of help and support there. Get your kids into an Ala-tot or Ala-teen program if it's available in your area. My daughter started Ala-tot whe she was 7 years old. She's 37 now and is very wise when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Keep that restraining order in effect. We can't stop people from hitting their bottom, but we can help them by not standing in their way.

GrouchoTheCat

Protect yourself AWEDA,

and your children...

GlassPrisoner

Sadly, yes. Bottom IS sometimes death.

Keep working YOUR program. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Dean62

I heard a guy say that he each time he hit bottom it got worse. I took that to mean hitting bottom is when a person decides to stop drinking because for alcohlics drinking only gets worse, never better.

I don't know if that makes sense, I'm still trying to figure things out for myself.

I am sorry to hear about your husband.

justanothrdrunk

Everyone has a bottom and it's the same bottom IMO.

Some are just willing to put up with more consequences than others. All you can do is take care of yourself.

Miss Pink

every bottom has a basement.....even if he does get sober today, doesnt mean he will be sober always.

Im in the same boat you are....my ex was sober 4 years, and now has been out for 4, and has fallen to what *I* would consider the lowest space in the basement.....he walked out on our only child......and suffered intense consequences....yet, hes still doing what doesnt work.

I, tho, am doing everything I can to get outta his way. Ive been to the basement, and it was hell. Im on my way to the penthouse...thru God, Alanon/AA and people liek the good folks here.

RufusACanal

Yes, many are hopeless unless they find that sliver of hope and surrender.

justjo

Aweda, My heart goes out to you. I have asked this question many times too. Still have hope sweetie, thats all you can do.