How do you quit forever?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: To the East
Posts: 81
Welcome to you,
We alcoholics LOVE TO PROJECT into the future and go back in the past alot, I remember a guy saying once at a meeting that he was worried what was going to happen when his daughter wanted to get married some day. (she was 5 years old at the time) so you see, others do it too. Stay in today, just get up, think about the day at hand, new concept huh? When it hit me at a meeting that I only had to stay sober for today (I won a bumper sticker "ONE DAY AT A TIME") I was so darn relieved that I only had to worry about the day at hand. When I didn't drink that day I started fresh the next day staying sober for just THAT day too, next thing you know it, you've put a string of em in front of you and it gets so much easier. It is a very easy concept for very difficult people (us drunks love to analyze too!!)
you are in the right place, go to a meeting, you won't regret it, best people in the world....
best of everything, hugs, L
We alcoholics LOVE TO PROJECT into the future and go back in the past alot, I remember a guy saying once at a meeting that he was worried what was going to happen when his daughter wanted to get married some day. (she was 5 years old at the time) so you see, others do it too. Stay in today, just get up, think about the day at hand, new concept huh? When it hit me at a meeting that I only had to stay sober for today (I won a bumper sticker "ONE DAY AT A TIME") I was so darn relieved that I only had to worry about the day at hand. When I didn't drink that day I started fresh the next day staying sober for just THAT day too, next thing you know it, you've put a string of em in front of you and it gets so much easier. It is a very easy concept for very difficult people (us drunks love to analyze too!!)
you are in the right place, go to a meeting, you won't regret it, best people in the world....
best of everything, hugs, L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Washington D.C.
Posts: 21
still hanging in there -thanks for the support
It's been 62 hours and I'm still hanging in there. I'm fiercely determined to not drink again. I hear all the advice to not focus on forever - just today, and it does help. I still want it to be forever though and am oddly more confident that maybe I can find continued strength and willpower in me like I've never known.
I feel so dim feeling a little better after only 2 1/2 days - but that in and of its' self hasn't happened in more than 4 years. I still have only slept about 5 hours in cat naps and feel terribly achey and short-tempered, disoriented and unable to concentrate, tremendously embarrassed and ashamed. I wonder if even I never have a drink again if I'll ever forgive or love myself. I hope I'll find myself in here WHEN I've maintained my sobriety for a longer while. I took away the monster - and am left with my shell, just a body. I really drank myself away. I feel hollow and of very little worth really.
My partner and I aren't talking about it - except this morning when he complained that I kept him up puttering around with insomnia. He says I'm just making too much of a big deal of it. I know he has a high powered job, friends, he exercises regularly at the gym, he's never had a substance problem...he handles lifes beautifully. I understand why he can't be porud of the stupid accomplishment of not getting obliterated everynight just to pass out and avoid the demons and anxiety...what do I have to be so stressed out about? He does it all for me. He's holding on to who I was before all this...the promise of me. Could he possibly still love "me" when I feel like I've become noone at all? Will he ever forgive me? Will I ever feel deserving of love?
I'm committed to not drinking, and feel like while I'll never sleep again - I'll live, and can see it through. What I don't see is ever becoming a whole person again. I'm so scared I'll be the dry-drunk nobody, and that IS who I am...
BUT I'M STILL HERE! I'm even a little bit proud.
You all are a God-send. Thank you for caring.
-me
I feel so dim feeling a little better after only 2 1/2 days - but that in and of its' self hasn't happened in more than 4 years. I still have only slept about 5 hours in cat naps and feel terribly achey and short-tempered, disoriented and unable to concentrate, tremendously embarrassed and ashamed. I wonder if even I never have a drink again if I'll ever forgive or love myself. I hope I'll find myself in here WHEN I've maintained my sobriety for a longer while. I took away the monster - and am left with my shell, just a body. I really drank myself away. I feel hollow and of very little worth really.
My partner and I aren't talking about it - except this morning when he complained that I kept him up puttering around with insomnia. He says I'm just making too much of a big deal of it. I know he has a high powered job, friends, he exercises regularly at the gym, he's never had a substance problem...he handles lifes beautifully. I understand why he can't be porud of the stupid accomplishment of not getting obliterated everynight just to pass out and avoid the demons and anxiety...what do I have to be so stressed out about? He does it all for me. He's holding on to who I was before all this...the promise of me. Could he possibly still love "me" when I feel like I've become noone at all? Will he ever forgive me? Will I ever feel deserving of love?
I'm committed to not drinking, and feel like while I'll never sleep again - I'll live, and can see it through. What I don't see is ever becoming a whole person again. I'm so scared I'll be the dry-drunk nobody, and that IS who I am...
BUT I'M STILL HERE! I'm even a little bit proud.
You all are a God-send. Thank you for caring.
-me
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
you have had some great responses....
I am in total agreement -- just for today.
But don't quit drinking, don't go 'on the wagon,' just DON'T DRINK today!
My alcoholic mind's natural tendency is to WANT to drink, but I have to focus every day on working a program as if my life depends on it, because it does!
AA has taught me a better way of thinking and living -- give it a shot, it may help you as well...
NoMo
I am in total agreement -- just for today.
But don't quit drinking, don't go 'on the wagon,' just DON'T DRINK today!
My alcoholic mind's natural tendency is to WANT to drink, but I have to focus every day on working a program as if my life depends on it, because it does!
AA has taught me a better way of thinking and living -- give it a shot, it may help you as well...
NoMo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 290
Originally Posted by nobody 
he's never had a substance problem...he handles lifes beautifully. I understand why he can't be porud of the stupid accomplishment of not getting obliterated everynight just to pass out and avoid the demons and anxiety...what do I have to be so stressed out about? He does it all for me. He's holding on to who I was before all this...the promise of me. Could he possibly still love "me" when I feel like I've become noone at all? Will he ever forgive me? Will I ever feel deserving of love?
At the end... my wife was complaining I wasn't the man she married... over and over... and over and over...
when I got sober she was excited that there was a possiblity she would get the old me back... she also saw the intense emotional pain I was in... and just left me alone...
I realized pretty early on that she didn't get it... she just doesn't understand my problem... she doesn't understand how big of an accomplishment it is for me to as you say... not get obliterated...
She says she is proud of me... and what I have done... but I know it isn't that I quit drinking that she is proud of... she is proud to call me her husband again... she likes being around me again...
I like the image of the pheonix rising from the ashes... you may regain some of the traits of your "old" self... but the new you will be stronger... wiser...
Keep at it... and believe you will win... believe you will be happy... when you are ready... believe you are happy... believe you will be everything you want to be...
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Washington D.C.
Posts: 21
Thank you so much Debaucher for the pheonix rising from the ashes imagery. I will visualize that as something to hope for. Thank you Tazman for your example. I appreciate you all so very much!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
nobody we all apreciate you also, we have walked in your shoes before, we have been at the bottom of the pit you feel you are trapped in, some of us have found the way out of that pit and are duty bound to help show you the way out if you are willing to let us. I can not keep what I have unless I give it away freely, they are millions just like me wanting to help anyone who reachs out a willing hand for help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by nobody
It's been 36 hours since I've had a drink...and it needs to be my very last - forever. I've tried and failed and made excuses before. I've never been in denial that I am an alcoholic however. I know I am and have been for 15 years...binging almost every night for the duration. I knew I had an issue the very first time I drank. I need to not drink ever again. I want it so very much. I don't understand why I keep desiring to have alcohol more than anything else at the expense of everything else. I don't have much of a life left. I've isolated myself. I don't know anyone with this problem. Only my partner knows. He has given me an ultimatum. I don't have a job, because I don't feel capable of anything, and I'm not interested in anything. I don't have motivation, interests, anticipation... I really am not living at all. My life is pretty empty. I'm trying to sleep / numb it out to avoid realizing I have nothing. I have someone who loves me - but it's not me, and it won't last if I don't stop. How do you get a life when you're starting with so little? I just don't know where to start, and I'm so embarrassed and sad about it. I feel so incredibly selfish, lazy and weak-willed. Can someone please help me? Thank you.
Look inside yourself to replace what you think alcohol does for you. Alcohol has no value, does nothing and is death. When you think that way, why would you want to drink?
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
THinking of you - I agree with all said here. I also know that for me I could not do it alone and the fellowship and beauty I have found in the rooms of AA has been unbelievable. It's like what you've experienced on these boards but even better cause it's in 3D! Give it a try...all you need to do to start - and you've started by posting here - is call the AA number and just talk...the person who answers will know JUST how you feel!!
Good luck...just one day at a time there is a beautiful life waiting for you.
Cathy31
x
Good luck...just one day at a time there is a beautiful life waiting for you.
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2
Wow nobody - your post made me cry. We are in the same boat. Today is my first day of sobriety...again. My partner was Sydney Aus last night at the airport and he would not talk to me on the phone because I was drunk. I went into a rampage and tore the house apart. Waking up this morning I realize that I need to stop. I was in desperate need of a friend to talk to last night and I called 7 of my "friends" but no one answered. Did they know I was drunk and did not want to talk to me? i get paranoid like that. I guess it's the guilt that i have.
Anyway this is my first message on these boards. your post touched me.
Anyway this is my first message on these boards. your post touched me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by parentrecovers
sending you support, k
(one day at a time works for me, in my recovery as a parent of an alcoholic/addict..)
(one day at a time works for me, in my recovery as a parent of an alcoholic/addict..)
Anyway this is my first message on these boards. your post touched me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: S.E. Mich.
Posts: 1,433
Originally Posted by GrouchoTheCat
How do you quit forever?
You don't.
You quit for today.
Just for today
Ted
You don't.
You quit for today.
Just for today
Ted
Just like this. Then repeat as nessecary.
If somebody told me I had to quit forever, I'd drink myself to death that same day.
It's a simple concept, that's hard to grasp; at first.
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