Need Help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5
Update
I have not taken any steps to help myself. I continue to live the same life that I have lived for the past 20 or so years. I go to work and then reward myself by getting obliterated time and time again. I do look myself in the mirror once in a while and ask...what has to happen to make me stop? Near death several times hasn't persuaded me. Waking up depressed and hungover time and time again hasn't either. So I continue on...I know I can behave for 3, 4, or 5 days, but after that last day is when it starts. I analyze myself and think....I am capable of stopping for a couple of days because in the end I know I can resort back to the booze at anytime. Will I progress to an everyday drinker? Probably not, because I like to torture myself by living a productive life for several days and then progress into the self centered alcoholic that I am. Once I hit that stage, nothing else matters except entertaining myself and feeding my alcoholic ways. Sorry for rambling, but this site is the only therapy I have reached out for, other than speaking to my family. I am hungover once again and I will not drink today. But once this feeling wears off, I know what the inevitable result is. I will be on top of the horse again taking another ride to no where. Thanks in advance for reading.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,024
Recovery is not an inside job, we don't do it alone. I hope you seek outside help, at the very least try a few meetings. (Sorry for repeating my previous posts. Just sharing what's worked for so many of us.)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back....
Here is a link to the book that convinced me to quit.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I hope it will do the same for you.
You too can recover.
Blessings
Here is a link to the book that convinced me to quit.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I hope it will do the same for you.
You too can recover.
Blessings
I couldn't afford to drink every day. Used the fact that I'd not drink some days as a reason to believe I wasn't an alcoholic. Really patted myself on the back for not drinking after a 3 month stay in Saudi Arabia! That's the way my brain worked, and still works with some other things, if I let it.
So, you remember your first drink clearly.
I have heard that over and over again from people in AA. Many remember their first drink vividly.
I started drinking for real about he same time, I don't remember my first drink because I was probably 5 or 6. Wine at a holiday dinner, that sort of thing.
I drank heavilly for more than 10 years and then got sober in AA for 5 years.
Then I decided I could drink again and pretty much lived in the hell of my own prison for another 12 or 13 years.
I am sober now but have been struggling. God willing I'll have 30 days come Monday.
I have the only way I can keep sober is by immersing myself in AA.
It works for me and countless others.
You've nothing to lose!
Best,
Ted
I have heard that over and over again from people in AA. Many remember their first drink vividly.
I started drinking for real about he same time, I don't remember my first drink because I was probably 5 or 6. Wine at a holiday dinner, that sort of thing.
I drank heavilly for more than 10 years and then got sober in AA for 5 years.
Then I decided I could drink again and pretty much lived in the hell of my own prison for another 12 or 13 years.
I am sober now but have been struggling. God willing I'll have 30 days come Monday.
I have the only way I can keep sober is by immersing myself in AA.
It works for me and countless others.
You've nothing to lose!
Best,
Ted
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: green hills of Vermont, USA
Posts: 251
But when I felt it was time to stop drinking, I couldn't do it by myself. It is a different substance, a different disease. I have excellent will power regarding other things and I think my only remaining vices are chocolate, coffee and ice cream. (I'll leave it to your imagination all the things I gave up!) And those are appropriately limited. But in order to stay away from booze, I had to have the support of the people and program of AA. I have put together quite a few 24hours now with their help. I don't always like AA or the many people I know there, but I LOVE them. It's simple but it ain't easy.
Congrats on getting back here and updating us and admitting what's been going on. Please do whatever it takes to get to meetings. At any rate, please report your progress as there are lots of folks here who want to support your efforts.
Blessings from the Snowgoose.
Hard8 you sound so much like me as I mentioned earlier, I was where you are at now at about the 30 year point in my 40 years of drinking, I to thought I will never drink every day, I am a binge drinker........ well for about the last 5 years of my drinking I did drink every day, I was never really sober, but I still had my binges.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease so I have found, it never gets better, even if we quit for 10 years, if we start drinking agin at a minimum it is like we never stopped within a week, for some it comes back far worse then it was when we quit.
I stood on the edge of a cliff, I still some how had it all, a family (Moving out in 30 days), a car & truck, a nice house & a good job, all I had to do was continue to drink and I would step off into oblivion losing it all and drinking myself to death!
If I stopped I could save it all except possibly my family, at that time my family did not care if I stopped or not, they wanted no more of what I had been giving them for years.
I reached my bottom and I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober!
Are you willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober?
Alcoholism is a progressive disease so I have found, it never gets better, even if we quit for 10 years, if we start drinking agin at a minimum it is like we never stopped within a week, for some it comes back far worse then it was when we quit.
I stood on the edge of a cliff, I still some how had it all, a family (Moving out in 30 days), a car & truck, a nice house & a good job, all I had to do was continue to drink and I would step off into oblivion losing it all and drinking myself to death!
If I stopped I could save it all except possibly my family, at that time my family did not care if I stopped or not, they wanted no more of what I had been giving them for years.
I reached my bottom and I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober!
Are you willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober?
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