Paulos

Hello all, yes it's apparent I've been drinking again, but you won't believe it I haven't been drinking Sunset Blush wine anymore or any liters, I've been simply drinking like 3 beers a day. Now I used to sneak it, I used to be so much worse, isn't THAT a form of recovery? Despite being semi helped, I still feel overwhelmed by things in life and so on, I'm also now on Seroquel, sorry to bring up my medication here but the anxiety forums on this site suck. And if someone brings up AA to me one more time I swear to god I'm going to do nothing :-D thanks all.

PaperDolls

How are the 3 beers a day treating you? Feeling pretty good about life?

Paulos

Don't know if your comment was sarcastic or not it sure sounded ******* shrewd, but anyway, with the beer without 'em life seems bland anyway.

PaperDolls

It wasn't meant to sound sarcastic or shrewd. I was serious.

So, with or without it, live seems bland? Are you possibly depressed? Have you seen a doc? Oh, I see you're on Seroquel. I'm not familar with that.....I'm guessing the doc would suggest to not drink while on it? I know the meds I'm on won't help me if I'm drinking.

I asked the question because, personally, I would have never been able to do just 3 beers a night. I'm sure you've heard all of this before so I won't preach to you. By the way, I got sober without AA. It's possible. I know that.

Also, I asked the question because I thought it was saying something that you were here posting that you're drinking. If you are ok with it, then why are you here telling us?

Paulos

I'm averagely okay with it, I'm just insecure with my life, paranoid/ocd/anxious/depressed with or without booze and like having support since I'm pitiful, that's why. lol.

PaperDolls

Well, you're not pitiful. Sounds to me like you're an alcoholic. I understand. I used to drink my depression and anxiety away. Or try at least. It was always there when I sobered up. I'm still dealing with my depression and my self-esteem but I have to tell you it's easier for me without drinking.

Do you want to quit drinking?

Paulos

Yeah I guess I do but the problem is alcohol will always exist and I feel it's not right to completely AVOID a problem like a lot of people have to do, example I'm not no vodka drinker who does it daily and a danger to myself and my health or others, not at all, I'm just very paranoid and think it's killing my brain cells right now and I get overwhelmed so easily at things.

PaperDolls

I wasn't a daily drinker either but I was killing brain cells for sure. There were a lot of years I sort of knew it was a problem but I wasn't ready to quit. I finally decided it was effecting my life in the wrong way and I finally quit. I'm glad that I did because, especially since alcoholism is a progressive disease, I could have ended up a daily drinker and much worse off.

Have you considered a visit to the doc to talk about your anxiety/depression/ocd etc?

Paulos

Oh yeah I already go to a shrink and that's why I'm on seroquel, it's an anti physchotic, heavy duty medication and on 2mg of xanax a day. They all already know about my alcoholism and say it's not horrible and as long as I keep up an average american diet I'll be ok, but I'm PARANOID that's the problem, I'm a paranoid mother ****** I'll tell you that, that's all lol, lots of people tell me not to worry, even my own family say "you're overworrying" but Ic an't help it, that's why I'm on this medication lol.

PaperDolls

Shouldn't the meds help with your paranoia? May be it's time for a med check?

I'm surprise a doc would say alcoholism isn't a problem. Does that make sense to you?

Tazman53

AA LOL!!!!

How you been Paulos? I haven't seen you around in a while. How are you keeping it down to 3 beers a day?

stone

Hi Paulos

Paulos

Hi stone Hi Taz it's been a while, to all who were cheering my non alcoholism before I'd liek to say sorry if I disappointed you, however I feel it's better to not completely AVOID a problem instead of shunning it for the rest of my life if I can handle it, look all I used to drink 5 liters of Sunset BLush a NIGHT last year, I'm down to 3 beers or 4 or none a day, I've improved, and paper my doctor was referring to if I was a major alcoholic right NOW which I'm not, that's what he meant. Drinking is bad of course but he doesn't see like I'm dying from it.

PaperDolls

I understand what you're saying Paulos. I'm just glad you are here.

Like Taz said.......how are you keeping it down to 3 beers a day? I wouldn't be able to do that myself.

stone

You havent disappointed anyone mate. Sounds like you are doing what you need to do right now. Good to see you here.

Paulos

Well how do I keep it at that quota? Let's see... just enjoy it, I also smoke, but nothing major just like 2-3 cigs a day or not even. 3 beers is quite a good amount, just to get a little buzz and to escape life that's all I really need it seems well that's what I've been trying to train myself in... but I tend to wonder if I still will get brain damage this way.

teej

Welcome back paulos!!

Paulos

thanks

parentrecovers

nice to hear from you, paulos. if you can limit/control your alcohol - more power to you. i know my daughter tried to do that, and was never successful. her disease progressed, and quickly at that.

keep posting! blessings, k

jdpgolfer

For me, it would be harder to only drink 3 beers than to not drink at all. I am the type that wants to get fu__ed up, or not drink at all.... Just my two cents...