sunrise1

OK, here I am back again...

Thought I could do this on my own, despite reading post after post from those much wiser than myself. I set a quit date- and was promptly bought a drink that very night which I was (of course) not strong enough to turn down.

I am disappointed. If I had managed to get myself to a meeting when I first posted here, maybe I would have had 3 weeks sober under my belt. Instead, I told my DH that I was going to do something about it starting Sunday; here it is Wednesday with 3 days of credibility eroded.

So- I would go today but I have made an appointment at a friend's place of business that I can't break. However, you have my word that tomorrow at noon I'll be there. I'm scared as hell and hope I make it out of my car, LOL...

Thank you all for your counsel and kind words. I'm sure you see it all the time here... those who think that they can and will just quit, etc, etc... I guess enlightenment comes to us all eventually, eh?

I am going to try and make it through tonight without drinking AT ALL so I will have 24 hours on me when I go to my meeting. Words of encouragement and cyber hugs will all be gratefully accepted...

sunrise

parentrecovers

sending support and encouragement - keep posting and let us know how that meeting goes! blessings, k

Astro

Seeking help in AA or pretty much any form of recovery is a "we" deal. We can't do it alone, there's so much help available if we're willing to reach out for it.

Glad to hear you admit that you need help. I'll look forward to hearing more from you.

chip

Sunrise,
Welcome to sober recovery, the website, and the state of being. I wish you strength for these 24 hours. I hope you find the support you need.

It makes me happy to see someone who is ready to make a change in their life. I rememeber when I quit, not too long ago. It was the best thing I could have done.

Going to meetings is a great idea.
mega hugs,
chip

sunrise1

Thanks you three... I already feel less alone.

Any suggestions for not drinking tonight? I am a musician and I must be in a bar/restaurant for about 4 hours tonight.

Astro

Abstinence always works for me. I simply cannot ever safely drink again. Any reason you can't drink a club soda with a lime in it?

sunrise1

No reason really, except that rum calls awfully loudly to me. I can be standing there in front of the waitress determined to order a diet coke but that's not what comes out of my mouth.

Astro

Yep, I must drive by three dozen liquor stores, conveniance stores, and grocery stores on my way home from AA meetings, and my AA hall is surrounded by bars and restaurants. Still, I can drive by without going in for a drink. I can also sit in a bar or restaurant without ordering a drink. Sobriety has given me the power of choice, the ability to say no.

It's worked for two + years for me. I must be doing something right.

Tazman53

Take your own bottled water, it is all the rage now to be to cool to drink anything sold because "It is not good enough for me!"

Look the most important thing at this instance you need to do is to make sure even if you do drink tonight you go to that meeting tommorrow.

The only requirement to attend an AA meeting is "The desire to stop drinking", people have gone to many AA meetings over the years drunk as a skunk and have been welcomed with open arms as long as they are not disruptive to the meeting and do have the desire to quit. Many of these people do recover, some much quicker then others, just keep going to meetings, keep an open mind, look for similarities and not differences.

baggervance

I went fri. nite drunk as a skunk sit down kept my mouth shut and tried to get some sense back I was welcome because I have a desire.

Loreena

I remember my first meeting although i was very foggy that night, I walked in and shook the hand of the greeter and said I"m new.. that is all I had to say, the hands and hugs started coming my way. I still go back to that meeting now and again (I've since moved) and I always see someone I knew from so long ago and I feel
like a newcomer again.

The first days are hard, somewhat overwhelming but great! just do it and you don't have to be sick and tired any more. It really works. Listen to the slogans, One day at a time is still my favorite.

Best of luck take baby steps!

BaldHeadedJohn

I've done that a couple times myself. No unwelcome comments, no unwelcome stares, just plenty of "Welcome!"

sunrise1, don't be nervous about going to your first meeting. At some point we've all had a first meeting. Just stick to the promise you made to <yourself> that you'll go.

Bottled water is all the rage. Maybe you could ask a friend or fellow band member to get you a club soda so you don't have to walk to the bar. Be careful, though. I've heard of people 'livening up' other's drinks.

Let us know how things go for you. Keep posting, and my best you.

BHJ

stone

Good for you sunrise, I have only just started going to meetings about a month or two ago myself.
Everyone is nervous the first time, if you can-let someone know its your first time and people will make you feel more welcome then.
If you just want to walk in and sit down and say nothing that is fine too.
Cyber-hug! You are doing the right thing!

Taking5

Here is a great link about what to expect at your first AA meeting. I wish I had read this before I ever walked in.

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...0AA%20Meetings

Joi

Way to go Sunrise! No shame, no guilt. None, do you hear me? No more. My crazy granny from Oklahoma use to say, I would rather walk through sh#@ than sugar.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Won't it be great for you to pick up a 24 hour chip?!!! I love that when that happens at meetings!

sunrise1

I hope you will be proud of me.. I'm proud of me.

I got out of my appointment early and drove to today's meeting. I only caught the last 10 minutes but I already feel better about my place in the universe. I bought a big book and spoke with the meeting leader for about 10 minutes.

He encouraged me to come back tomorrow- - which I have already planned to do- - and mentioned a woman in particular he thought I should talk with in more depth.

When I go tomorrow I will hopefully be picking up a white chip, but no matter what I will go back.

I confess when I walked in I was initially struck by the "differences" between me and most people in the room. I felt separated by age, sex, and race- - but even in the short time I sat there (so quiet and small in the back!), it came to me that we were all there of the same purpose. The speaker made me feel welcome- and in those minutes, the differences were definitely less important than anything else.

He gave me a meeting schedule that covers our whole area throughout the week.

Afterwards I treated myself to sushi lunch while I began to read the big book... I am telling myself over and over that I will not drink tonight- my journey began when I woke up this morning.

Thanks for the encouragement... you don't know how much it's helping me - and how it helped me to choose to go today and not wait until tomorrow.

sunrise

Spiritual Seeker

DOs + Don'ts- Don't form an opinion until you have gone many times. DO Try different mtgs. to find the HOME mtg that will be right for you. Don't get hung up on the Higher Power aspect like many newcomers do and use as an excuse to quit
Do surrender and believe that there is a power greater than yourself
Do get phone numbers of people you quickly related to so that you can call for the strength not to use Don't miss this opportunity to get sober. Good luck, you sound willing and that is the best place to be

Astro

Amazing that so many people of different ages, race, and creed can come together for one common reason. That's something that's always kept me coming back. Eventually the differences melt away, our uniqueness fades, and we're only left with the similarities.

GrouchoTheCat

Alcohol does not discriminate. It simply does not care what your station in life is or was. The only thing it wants to do is get you lower down than you ever thought possible.

Sure there are differences but I am glad that you were able to feel the sameness that everyone shares. The clothes and the education levles may differ vastly, but the feelings are the same.

I find that when I talk to someone in the program they "get it". They understand how I feel. Those who are not recovering simply don't "get it" and they never will.

Thats why I stick withe the experts...