sad75

I don't know if I'm in the wrong room.

Can barely type through my tears. I ache from head to toe, have scars I don't remember getting, wet the bed but much worse than that think I have lost a dear friend forever. I remember nothing.

Why? Everyone's friend, drink.

Feel so ashamed and alone and helpless.

mpr

maybe go to AA or check yourself into rehab?

sad75

I want to go to AA. Local meetings start in 5 minutes. Problem is I live with the people I was out with and am too ashamed to face them. Can't leave my room.

Thank you though for your post.

juliee

Your friends will be much more likely to help you if you start helping yourself. You'd be amazed at how much people will give help, support, love when they see you take that first step and ask for it. You can do this....your life depends on it! Thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep posting lots of wisdom here from people who have been right where you are. Julie

mpr

if you want to make changes you really have to focus on yourself and nobody or anything else... forget everybody else until you have dealt with your own problems first once you do that you can deal with others

CarolD

Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum

If you want to quit drinking you are
in the correct room
We do understand..most of us have been
harmed by our drinking.

Try to relax...there will be other AA meetings
and you can go then.

It's always wise to see your doctor
before quitting abruptly.

Have you tried to quit before?
Do you know about de toxing?


Keep posting...glad you found us.

GlassPrisoner

Welcome !

Not much additional advice to give here. Get to a meeting, forget what every one thinks about you for now.

If it helps, we've all been there done that in one way or another.

Anna

Welcome Sad,

As Carol said, we have all done things that we wish we hadn't done. I know how overwhelming the feelings of shame and guilt can be. But, don't let them push you back towards drinking. I did that for a long time and it becomes an endless cycle. Take a step out of the cycle, help yourself to move forward.

Nuudawn

Welcome....
I truly hope that this is the very last morning you awake from blackout in your own urine. In one way or another, everyone here has been just where you are now...exactly where you are....confused, ashamed, terrified. You don't want to do this anymore. You will leave your room when you are ready to. Be brave... get the help and support you need. Here is an excellent start.

BP44

Welcome Sad!!!! You're right where you need to be. You don't have to come to in the morning like this again. Have you tried to quit before? the best suggestion I can give you is to don't drink and go to a meeting. If you think you will have trouble with withdrawing from alcohol, seek medical attention. There are some excellent stickys at the top of this forum that can guide you on what to expect. Keep coming back.

sad75

First of all thank you to everyone who took the time to post their kind words. They really mean an awful lot to me tonight. Still the tears come but I don't feel quite so lonely.

I phoned the AA helpline and am not long off the phone from a lovely girl. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow.

Glassprisoner (nice name btw) and mpr you are both right, the only person I need to be concerned with right now is sitting typing to you.

BP44 I have tried, what I seem to find everyone else has, cutting down, one soft drink then a 'hard' one, making sure I eat etc etc. I did once go to an AA meeting when I was much younger. My response? I'm not like them...

Bet you all heard that line before. I am exactly like them in that I cannot accept one drink as enough, as soon as I give my body the taste for it, it craves alcohol and I duly feed my craving. I worry that I won't have the strength to stay sober as I have done countless things which are stupid, shameful, embarassing - not to mention dangerous yet I still seem to reach for the bottle.

Thank you all again. I will be back here to let you know how my sobriety is going and I have no doubt I will need your support in the future.

Going to try and get some sleep.

Goodnight all

Peter

For over a year I forgot what my house looked like in the daylight.

I was so ashamed of my alcoholic behaviour I did not want the neighbours to see me. I only came and went under the cover of darkness.

If anything these events turned out to be a persuasive factor in helping to push me towards quitting alcohol for good. Maybe this is a good indicator for you that your drinking is in it's final days.

If you need to hole up for a while to collect your thoughs that's okay, but just remember that sooner or later you will have to get on with the business of living. AA is a good place to start. Good luck.

parentrecovers

how you feeling today, sad? k

Surlyredhead

(((((sad75)))))

I remember being where you are now.....it does get better with clean time. Don't be too hard on yourself, we have all done things we are not proud of. Right now, you just need to try your hardest to not drink.....and rest.

We are here...Cathy