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Old 07-07-2007, 03:42 PM
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ashamed

I am an alcohlic who had a few years sober. I decided to start my own bissiness and barrowed money to buy my equipment. I stopped going to meetings and the stress of payments was driving me mad so sold out. only problem now is Im addicted to hydro,s. I was taking 4 to 5 tens aday Ive quit the hydies about 10 days ago, but ive started back drinking went back to a meeting last night and going agin tonight.
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:54 PM
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Welcome back !

We don't shoot our wounded, at least you're here.
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:58 PM
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It was hard to walk in to my first meeting last night was a breeze it was a speaker meeting but tonight is my old home group. Called my old sponser he still going to meetings and is still sober imagine that.
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:59 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Welcome to SR!


Yes...I too consider meetings vital to my recovery.

Blessings
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Old 07-07-2007, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by baggervance View Post
It was hard to walk in to my first meeting last night was a breeze it was a speaker meeting but tonight is my old home group. Called my old sponser he still going to meetings and is still sober imagine that.
I will imagine that they will welcome you back with open arms. I'm not an AA member myself but the support mechanism for those that it suits is without question from what I have read.

You have my best wishes bagger.
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Old 07-07-2007, 05:12 PM
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I have had my share of relapses and the only thing I ever heard at AA was:"Welcome Back, we're glad you're here".
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Old 07-07-2007, 05:15 PM
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thank yall for the support ill let yall know how it goes
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Old 07-07-2007, 05:37 PM
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You said you were at a speaker meeting last night. If you search around the internet for places that have lead recordings, look for a guy named Wayne B. from California. He talks about the acceptance he found at meetings -- and the guy is hilarious. Might make you feel better.

And, I'm glad you're back, too. There are no cousins in the rooms, only brothers & sisters who may not have met yet.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 07-07-2007, 05:46 PM
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Hi and welcome!!!
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Old 07-07-2007, 07:27 PM
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My meeting went well picked up a chip everyone one welcomed me back I feel better. Some of old friends showed up after they heard I was coming tonight. If I could stay as humble as I am now I would be lot better off.
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:55 AM
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same planet...different world
 
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welcome bagger -

I went back after four years not drawing a single sober breath.

This was my old 'home group' too ... so many faces again.
One fella - this tough guy hard core biker who I'd known before ... wept to see me. I was more than welcomed.
I was blessed.

You've already gone to the hard one.

welcome back.
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:56 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Super!
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Old 07-08-2007, 04:04 AM
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I was told "Welcome Home" when I got back.
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Old 07-08-2007, 10:12 AM
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Im planing on going to another meeting tonight this is day 2 still feel sick hangovers hurt more than they use to. Ive cleaned out all my hiding places and flushed everything I could find. If I can stop sweating now. Wish I could not work tommorw but I know longer I put this off worse it will be.I got bunch stuff to clean up.I glad I dont have anything because I am weak right now mind keeps telling me too just drink and you can feel better in just a minute.called my old sponser he said just hang in there till tonight.
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Old 07-08-2007, 03:01 PM
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Welcome back in!
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Old 07-08-2007, 08:57 PM
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Welcome Bagger -

Progress not perfection.

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Old 07-08-2007, 09:28 PM
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I made it through today. Went to meeting tonight and it was awful. there were 36 there and 30 were court ordered they talked among their selves and I dont hear very well any way.The worst was the smoke Im still coughing and thougt I had o/d on smoke. my sponser took me back I asked if I was just putting personalities above principles.I did that last time when I left. I never spoke aword tonight. He said I need to hit my steps as hard as I can and he will do 90 with me.I was very worried about letting him down he helped me so much first time but he just said he loved me and was glad I was back we both agreed to find somewhere eles to go on sundays. I feel like I got more from the ride over an back than the actual meetings. Am I thinking wrong about the people that talked alway through and never said anything to the group.some old timer shake my cage tell me if im way off here.Also anyone got any tips on dealing with smoke I swear it looked like a cheech an chong movie in the building.
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:23 AM
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bagger welcome back, although I have not relapsed, I can attest that I have never seen anyone shunned who came back, I will share with you what an old timer in my area says at every meeting before he passes out 24 hour chips:

"The doors of AA swing both ways, you can come in and stay as long as you like, you can go out and stay as long as you can, but when you come back we will not say "We told you so!", we will say "Welcome back, we are glad to have you!""

Bagger you know what to do, it sounds like your sponsor is still there for you, go for it, you know life gets better, please for the sake of folks like me share your story about your relapse, share why it happened, every time a person like me hears that it is no better out there now then it was when I was out there, the less likely it is I will relapse.

Welcome back bagger, we in AA see no shame in you coming back, many of us have been there and done that, we will love you until you can learn to love your self again.

I wish I could offer advice about the smoke, the only thing I can suggest is move to my area, all the meetings are in smake free buildings.
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Old 07-09-2007, 06:30 AM
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let it grow!
 
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nice to see you on the board, bagger! blessings, k
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Old 07-09-2007, 07:46 AM
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aIlright taz I need to do this If I can be honest with myself and you. Like I said I had a few years was making meetings and the promises were coming true for me I have two daughters that loved me I had my wifes trust back made ammends too a guy I hated and actually he became one of my best freinds. THEN I wanted to start doing something to get rich.I bought a bobcat with a concrete pump. I was doing well making a little money and I some how picked up a job that was over my head but I said sure I can do this bought 2 more bobcats and a trackhoe. The guy who was the architech on job was making 42 percent on every dollar.I would send in my bills and he would send them back and tell me I was to cheap add to the bill the money was really flowing I was getting just what I thought I wanted but I was struggling with the over billing and blatant disadvantage evryone was taking of this guy.I eventually couldnt live with it so I told the man what was going on he was a DR. and told me the architech was his guy and do what I was told so I ripped the guy.I also bougth a 300,000.00 concrete boom pump all the phisical work took a toll on my body my elbows especially so doc wrote me some loratabs man where had I been I was like super man when I got low I call doc and he call me in what I wanted and hey I wasnt drinking. then after a year job ran out I told myself I cant go to meetings Im to tired I work to hard cant stay up till 10 oclock then get up at 4 and work allday. I worried myself sick over making payments because I had blowed all money from docs job and was taking hydros everyday along with somas and took 8 cortizone shots in my elbows in 6 months. I had peoples lives in my hands with that pump and I was high everyday. Then I started breaking bones I guess because off all the cortizone. I pumped several jobs where I was drug tested and never failed a one still dont know how that happened.I thought I got everyone fooled wife kids parents bosses this stuff is great. I eventually did nothing but take pills work and sleep. I got a chance to sell out and did. Then I bought an expensixe lake lot and started a speck home I had a nice loan and was buying pills when I wanted. House was not getting done and I was running out of money. I made anthoer loan about nov. I quit taking pills and jumped back on house. Then one stressville day I drank. I drank about two three days a week.I got sick went to the doc. and he gave me tussinex and I was off agin now back on pills and drinking both.Iused all my loan money and Thought I want a boat so my stupid ass got my kids went got some beer and told them both I was gonna buy them a boat and if they told their mom I was drinking they were grounded.[like she didnt know] We gathered up their freinds a hit the water I scared my oldest so bad she called her mom crying wanting to go home. when we got home I played it off and said I had quit the pills which I had for day or two.Next day I got up at 7 drank two beers grabbed kids stopped got a quart of vodka and stayed in a blackout for two days.so where did I go wrong let me count the ways. Something had to be wacthing over me I am still in a bad fog got lots of work to do on myself. But for me I know I have to keep my life simple have a support group and never drink or drug agin or I am going to die or kill somone else. hope this has helped someone. It sure is hard for me.
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