I'll put this out
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,415
I'll put this out
I just read Carol87's "Loners" post. It was the first thing I saw when i came on tonight. I just put my wife in an ambulance, and I came on here, and I don't know how to reach out to people. I'm forcing myself to write this. It's quarter to midnight here in the UK. I could phone my sponsor - I have no qualms about it. I could phone any number of people in the fellowship. If I asked them, they would come here. I have no reservations about phoning them, but I don't want to phone them because I feel calm and accepting, and I know that nothing bad has happened, and I don't need them right now. But at the same time, there's a part of me that resists reaching out, and there's a part of me that doesn't know how. I mean, really doesn't know how.
Say a wee prayer for my wife, Julie. She has epilepsy as a result of a brain tumour, successfully removed in 05. She had a bad seizure last night and another one tonight. This has never happened to her before. She's scared. I love her very much. I'm very grateful that I got sober and I'm not a liability to her. She says I make her feel safe. That means a lot to me. It means a lot that I can be a steady presence for her. It means everything. It's real amends. I just wish she didn't have to be sick for me to make them.
Say a wee prayer for my wife, Julie. She has epilepsy as a result of a brain tumour, successfully removed in 05. She had a bad seizure last night and another one tonight. This has never happened to her before. She's scared. I love her very much. I'm very grateful that I got sober and I'm not a liability to her. She says I make her feel safe. That means a lot to me. It means a lot that I can be a steady presence for her. It means everything. It's real amends. I just wish she didn't have to be sick for me to make them.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Posts: 299
Paul, you and Julie will be in my thoughts tonight. You're a steady presence for everyone on these boards too, and a real inspiration to me in staying sober. I hope and pray you and J. can get through this OK.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Paul Prayers are with you.
She didn't have to get sick for you to need get clean that just happen to be the thing that happens in life that triggered you into finding the way out.
The joy you feel when she says you make her feel safe. When we don't reach out to others who are willing and waiting to help (even if we don't need it), by us not reaching out we are taking joy from them that they could have with our asking for a listening ear or a little support.
She didn't have to get sick for you to need get clean that just happen to be the thing that happens in life that triggered you into finding the way out.
The joy you feel when she says you make her feel safe. When we don't reach out to others who are willing and waiting to help (even if we don't need it), by us not reaching out we are taking joy from them that they could have with our asking for a listening ear or a little support.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
there's a part of me that resists reaching out, and there's a part of me that doesn't know how. I mean, really doesn't know how.
((((Paul))))
Hey, guys hug guys in AA all the time.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
(((Paul & Julie))) Yep, you get a hug from this guy too, and you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Many times I wish I could've been a steady presence for my ex, I'm very grateful that I've got the chance to be that for my children, my girlfriend, my family, and my friends in AA.
Glad that you posted. Thank you for being a constant inspiration on these boards.
Many times I wish I could've been a steady presence for my ex, I'm very grateful that I've got the chance to be that for my children, my girlfriend, my family, and my friends in AA.
Glad that you posted. Thank you for being a constant inspiration on these boards.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
(((Paul & Julie)))
I know exactly what you mean, paul. I can totally relate to being okay, but still wishing...just that I could reach out.
I was told everything gets easier with practice and that it's in the trying.
Many prayers for you and your wife tonight.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
I know exactly what you mean, paul. I can totally relate to being okay, but still wishing...just that I could reach out.
I was told everything gets easier with practice and that it's in the trying.
Many prayers for you and your wife tonight.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sainte Genevieve, MO
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by paulmh 
I just read Carol87's "Loners" post. It was the first thing I saw when i came on tonight. I just put my wife in an ambulance, and I came on here, and I don't know how to reach out to people. I'm forcing myself to write this. It's quarter to midnight here in the UK. I could phone my sponsor - I have no qualms about it. I could phone any number of people in the fellowship. If I asked them, they would come here. I have no reservations about phoning them, but I don't want to phone them because I feel calm and accepting, and I know that nothing bad has happened, and I don't need them right now. But at the same time, there's a part of me that resists reaching out, and there's a part of me that doesn't know how. I mean, really doesn't know how.
Say a wee prayer for my wife, Julie. She has epilepsy as a result of a brain tumour, successfully removed in 05. She had a bad seizure last night and another one tonight. This has never happened to her before. She's scared. I love her very much. I'm very grateful that I got sober and I'm not a liability to her. She says I make her feel safe. That means a lot to me. It means a lot that I can be a steady presence for her. It means everything. It's real amends. I just wish she didn't have to be sick for me to make them.
Say a wee prayer for my wife, Julie. She has epilepsy as a result of a brain tumour, successfully removed in 05. She had a bad seizure last night and another one tonight. This has never happened to her before. She's scared. I love her very much. I'm very grateful that I got sober and I'm not a liability to her. She says I make her feel safe. That means a lot to me. It means a lot that I can be a steady presence for her. It means everything. It's real amends. I just wish she didn't have to be sick for me to make them.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by TriciaW
So your wife is in an ambulance on her way to the hospital and you decide to hop on the computer. What is wrong with this picture?
Nothing that I see. Reaching out for prayers and support I see as being very important.
First things First and prayer is always on the short list for me. I have seen the results.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Originally Posted by paulmh
But at the same time, there's a part of me that resists reaching out, and there's a part of me that doesn't know how. I mean, really doesn't know how.
I am the same way Paul, love and best wishes to you and your wife.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
*prayers*
just another perspective ...
You did just reach out. And we're here.
Your HP made sure you were able to be there for Julie when she now most needs the presence and support. Because now - you are able.
You didn't make anyone sick, you're making yourself better.
just another perspective ...
You did just reach out. And we're here.
Your HP made sure you were able to be there for Julie when she now most needs the presence and support. Because now - you are able.
You didn't make anyone sick, you're making yourself better.
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