Gary2140

I haven't posted in a while. Mainly becasue I've been drinking myself to death every night.

My cravings have become unmanagable.

I'm going through a tremendous amount of stress - baby on the way (yes a reason to be sober) and trying to sell our house before we foreclose.

The drinking started again because I've found new ways to effectively hide my drinking from my wife. I'll even admit that I hide booze under the bathroom sink. How pathetic is that - under the bathroom sink next to the comet cleanser.

The cravings are just too much.

Yes, I need to go to a freakiing meeting.

I'm just venting at the moment. I look like crap, feel like crap.

Later,
Gary
Mesa, AZ

tyler

Sounds like you know what you need to do, it' just a matter of doing it. If it makes you feel any better I used to do the same thing with my drink. I'd hide it in the bathroom along with my pot, blow hits out the window and chug the drink. It really is sad the things we do. BTW, don't be so sure you are hiding it from your wife. Oftentimes they know what is going on but either consciously or unconsiously ignore it. Hope you get to that meeting!! Take care.

CarolD

Hi Gary.....
Yes...it does sound as tho drinking is no longer working
for you.

Do talk with your doctor before abruptly stopping.

You too can recover!..

Welcome back

parentrecovers

sending encouragement. you can do this, with the help of others. good for you for reaching out today. blessings, k

Astro

Hi Gary, always nice to see someone from the Phoenix area posting. I make a meeting here almost every night http://www.northscottsdalefellowshipclub.com/ You obviously know what to do and admit there's a problem. How about joining us someday?

My Mom used to hide her booze in the vanity, I kept my stash in the truck most of the time. I'm sure we've all been creative at some point.

My wife asked me to sober up when our first baby was born. Nine years and two children later I finally got it, after we were divorced and I gave most of what I cherished away to to this disease. Please get some help before it's too late, OK?

Rowan

Gary,

Welcome back. You CAN recover and you know what it is that you need to do. Please take action while you are still able. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We care.

Rowan

GrouchoTheCat

Welcome back Gary,

I hid bottles all over the place. Heck, I used to smuggle a beer into the shower in the morning by hiding it in my towel.

The things we do...

Get to a meeting. Tonight.

Just a suggestion,

Ted

BP44

I've heard of many hiding places. The two most creative places I heard of people hiding booze were, the garden hose and one guy in my home group used to hide a bottle in the grass catcher of the lawn mower until his wife found that one too. I hope you are able to put down the drink and get to a meeting. I know that I had to be done. I had to be hopeless. And that happened when I couldn't drink and I couldn't not drink. But if you are still clinging to the fantasy that next time it will be better, that somehow you will miraculously drink like a normal person, then yiu may not be done. If you hope you can drink, then I hope it for you. That fantasy has been destroyed for this alcoholic. Don't drink and go to a meeting.

chip

Gary,
You might be ready to do something about this. Do you hurt enough? It sounds like a funny question to ask, but for many of us, it's a very good question. I wasn't ready to quit until I was at my personal bottom.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. There are 3 ways it can end:
1) institution (jail, mental health unit, hospital)
2) death
3) abstinence

This is proven again and again by members of our community. The only way out of this hell is to quit. Many of us need to really hurt before we do quit.

I can tell you are hurting. Are you ready to start a new life?
chip

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I know what you are talking about, the whole house thing. It is damn stressful.

I stopped my foreclosure from happening while newly sober. It was still damn stressful. But I didn't make things worse by being drunk and helpless. You can do your very best to do the right thing. It might just work..

Also, I have two kids, 14 and 11. I don't think my 11 year old remembers a time when mommy didn't drink. The fact that I was drunk through most of her life makes me feel pretty damn crappy.

But, I'm not drunk anymore. I can be a better mom to her now.

Try again Gary. I'm pulling for ya

Karen

littlefish

You know what made me stop yesterday? I read through all of the excerpts that GreenTea quoted from: "Under the influence".

It's a sticky under The Alcoholism Information Forum; Alcoholism.

There is so much I did not know about the pysiological effects of alcohol. I also searched the web and learned a lot I didn't know about enlarged liver, which I am pretty sure I have and that really scares me.

I quit yesterday because I can finally say I hit rock bottom and just came off the worst 2-week binge of my life. I quit because I keep coming here, everyday and find the support excellent!

I quit because I started a diary last month solely about my drinking and, reading through my diary of the last 43 days, the amount of alcohol I have been drinking shocked me.

catch-22

you need to be strong. I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago and it goes up and down a lot. But mostly I'm happy. You can do it too.

Catch

Tazman53

Gary going to a meeting is an excellent idea, the more the merrier, but you need to see your doctor ASAP before you detox, self detoxing with out medical supervision can and has killed folks.

As I assume you are already well aware of simply not drinking will not keep you sober, that is why long term programs like AA are so crucial in staying sober and learning how to live life on lifes terms and sober.