tkdan

I've come to the realization that I have self medicated sense I was a teen. In January I quit drinking again by April I was so depressed, angry, irritable, and so stressed out that I started drinking again. I'm not making excusses for it nor am I happy about it. I never consulted a Dr when quitting in the past even though just about everyone says you should. I have an appointment this afternoon with my Dr and I'm going to lay it all out. It is not easy for me to confide in someone I'm not close to but I feel I have no choice at this point. I actually feel better when I'm drinking but I know that is not the answer. I know I can not quit on my own. Sorry about coming here with bad news I would much rather come here to encourage others that are trying to stay sober.

parentrecovers

thanks for being so honest in your post, tkdan. please let us know how your appt goes this afternoon? you are making a very wise choice by going and putting it on the table. i hope you find answers and peace. blessings, k

Anna

It is a good idea to be talking to your dr.

I didn't start drinking until much later in life, but I had battled depression/anxiety since I was a teenager and had been unable to get help. In the end I ended up using alcohol as self-medication because I didn't think I could deal with the depression any longer. Drs kept telling me I couldn't be depressed because I didn't stay in bed all day and because I put on makeup and did my hair???

It might be the case that your dr will talking about you using meds for your depression. Good luck with your appointment.

nanita

Good luck with that appointment and do let us know what you find out.

PurpleReign

Hey man,
That's a big step you'll thank yourself later. I know what you mean about falling again, I'm on day 4 myself.

PR

GrouchoTheCat

Dan,

It's a big step to lay it out to someone who can help.

I hope it all works out well for you,

Ted

Tazman53

Good luck Dan, trust me you are not alone in this. You are not the first person to go it on their own and wind up drinking again, I did it for 10 years, I finally went to a doctor, then on to detox where I learned that if I wanted to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

I thought 90 meeting in 90 days was impossible, my counselor in detox worked a deal with me, he told me just to spend as much time in meetings as I did drinking. I made 90 meetings in 90 days easy! LOL

What the detox folks did not tell me is not only would AA keep me sober, it would make me happier and a far better person then I have been in 30 years.

In a nut shell it is as you have found very difficult for an alcoholic to stay sober with out some sort of face to face support program.

I found out many times for many years that if the only thing I changed was that I no longer drank I was going to start drinking again.

If you change nothing, nothing changes.

Peter

If you still hold the belief that "drinking makes you feel better" then I don't know how you plan to stay stopped.

Drinking may create the "illusion" of bliss but years of experience has proven to me that each binge came with a high interest of pain added to it.

Good luck with your Drs. visit.

karrotop

hi....it's ok to vent here,and share your problems.....we're all here for the same reason.....and good luck with your appointment...i found that when you ask for help,you usually get help.....we need all we can get......let us know how you made out,ok?KT

BP44

The Doctor's Opinion really lays out the phenomena of craving and mental obsession quite well. I really did have to drink, just to feel "normal". It spells out how we are unable to distinguish illusion from reality. Most of us consider that insanity. The phenomena of craving sets up a vicious cycle for us. The phenomena of craving coupled with an allergy to alcohol also prevents us from ever taking a drink normally ever again. It is simply impossible.

GlassPrisoner

Yup, I was a huge self medicator too. For the reasons you listed. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I simply hated life. I don't anymore.