can an alcoholic ever drink again socially?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: my own little world
Posts: 98
can an alcoholic ever drink again socially?
I'm just wondering...I quit drinking and went to 12 step meetings for a couple years. Then I maintained 5 years of sobriety on my own....not very happily I must admit. Pretty lonely since I stayed away from the drinking crowds so not much of a social life. I immersed myself in other things like my career. now this past year I have allowed myself to be a "social drinker" not often mind you but on probably a dozen occasions over the past year I have had one or two glasses of wine or a beer. probably 3 glasses of wine was the max for me...never to the point of being drunk. I wonder if I were an alcoholic could I be able to do this? then I remember I was a "black out" binge drinker for nearly a decade. I'm wondering if I keep this up will there come a day when I'm right back where I was 7 years ago or has something changed. have I matured enough to know when to stop?
I guess no one can really answer that for me. I've been scared to drink at all lately - socially - because I have been depressed which I have suffered with for all of my adult life - and I'm afraid in a vulnerable place I would get drunk. I'm wondering if anyone has ever experienced this type of questioning. I would feel silly going back to AA after so many years of not drinking and its not like I've gone out and gotten drunk and destructive. I've just been depressed and lonely. My friends that know me now don't know about my past history with alcohol because I have met them in the last few years and I lost touch with those from my past. so did anyone stay away from AA, and then go back without having gone through the whole destructive path but just getting lonely and missing the fellowship of AA? I think the whole thing boils down to not being sure where I belong any more or who I am. I feel like no one really knows me....even myself. just lost I guess.
I guess no one can really answer that for me. I've been scared to drink at all lately - socially - because I have been depressed which I have suffered with for all of my adult life - and I'm afraid in a vulnerable place I would get drunk. I'm wondering if anyone has ever experienced this type of questioning. I would feel silly going back to AA after so many years of not drinking and its not like I've gone out and gotten drunk and destructive. I've just been depressed and lonely. My friends that know me now don't know about my past history with alcohol because I have met them in the last few years and I lost touch with those from my past. so did anyone stay away from AA, and then go back without having gone through the whole destructive path but just getting lonely and missing the fellowship of AA? I think the whole thing boils down to not being sure where I belong any more or who I am. I feel like no one really knows me....even myself. just lost I guess.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Serina,
No one can answer that but you...
In my case I was sober for 7 years, until 3 years ago when I reasoned with myself that I was older and more mature, and could drink sociallly.
Within 2 months I was drinking heavily, and ended up having blackouts 3 or 4 times per week for the majority of 3 years.
For me I started up right where I left off, only this time staying sober seems to be much more difficult, however I am at day 24.
My advice, seek help, and keep posting!
~Toomutch
~~~~~~~~~
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
No one can answer that but you...
In my case I was sober for 7 years, until 3 years ago when I reasoned with myself that I was older and more mature, and could drink sociallly.
Within 2 months I was drinking heavily, and ended up having blackouts 3 or 4 times per week for the majority of 3 years.
For me I started up right where I left off, only this time staying sober seems to be much more difficult, however I am at day 24.
My advice, seek help, and keep posting!
~Toomutch
~~~~~~~~~
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
serina you answered part of your own question, if you were capable of drinking socially and confident in the fact you were not an alcoholic you would have never come here and asked that qyuestion.
Okay now in regards to going back to AA after that sober time, that is up to you, but look at what you said in your post and you tell me if you think going back to AA would hurt you?
Were you unhappy the years you were in AA?
Okay now in regards to going back to AA after that sober time, that is up to you, but look at what you said in your post and you tell me if you think going back to AA would hurt you?
I quit drinking and went to 12 step meetings for a couple years. Then I maintained 5 years of sobriety on my own....not very happily I must admit.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: my own little world
Posts: 98
Tazman you are right why would I question it or come here. hmmm. I was happy in AA for a short time to have found people like me. then I made the choice to become involved with an addict and got caught up in the drama and destruction of that relationship and marriage. When I divorced him and moved I didn't go back to AA but decided I would make the fresh start and stay sober on my own. I have a terrible time reaching out to others for help or expressing my feelings to others. that is why coming here is easier for me than reaching out in person. My counselor asked me if maybe I was "disconnected" from my heart. I'm not sure what she meant exactly but could be. it took me forever to admit I needed to go to a counselor. I just started seeing her 2 months ago and I've started talking about some of this. She suggested I reach out and connect with others - she didn't say who. we had mentioned church, the gym, even going to a coffee house. however, it was me that thought of AA. I'll check back later. thanks for the insight.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
can an alcoholic ever drink again socially?
My AA recovery life is too fantastic!
Glad you are looking for answers
Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Serina -
Welcome to SR.
My 2 cents . . .
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AA has been, for me, a great place of acceptance. You already know what and who you will find there - people like you who will welcome you back with open arms and want to share their ES&H with you. What do you have to loose??
TinLizzy
Welcome to SR.
My 2 cents . . .
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AA has been, for me, a great place of acceptance. You already know what and who you will find there - people like you who will welcome you back with open arms and want to share their ES&H with you. What do you have to loose??
TinLizzy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 76
Serina,
Drinking made me depressed also. I don't need anything in my life to depress me. I am an alcoholic and I know I can never drink again socially or otherwise. It's simple, I am powerless over alcohol and I don't want it to control my life. If I don't have that 1st drink, I don't have to control or worry or count. I have discovered beverages that taste much better than alcohol too. AA welcomes everyone, no matter what. So, go back if you want or need it.
Good luck in your quest.
Carol
Drinking made me depressed also. I don't need anything in my life to depress me. I am an alcoholic and I know I can never drink again socially or otherwise. It's simple, I am powerless over alcohol and I don't want it to control my life. If I don't have that 1st drink, I don't have to control or worry or count. I have discovered beverages that taste much better than alcohol too. AA welcomes everyone, no matter what. So, go back if you want or need it.
Good luck in your quest.
Carol
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
"Can an alcoholic ever drink again socially?"
Not this alcoholic.
Sure, after ten years sober I could probably go out there and knock back a few teqs and get away with it, but for me it would be too much like russian roulette, sooner or later a loaded chamber is bound to play.
Not this alcoholic.
Sure, after ten years sober I could probably go out there and knock back a few teqs and get away with it, but for me it would be too much like russian roulette, sooner or later a loaded chamber is bound to play.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 85
Why would you want to drink again knowing where drinking took you before? You said you were miserable in your 5 years of sobriety ... why do you think that was? I'll give you a hint, you may have stopped drinking but you probably didn't change much else (people places, and things). Which explains why you are longing to go back to the drinking crowd and try and drink socially. I hope for your sake it doesn't happen, but I'd be willing to take the odds that if your a real alcoholic, you will at some point return to your black out state.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Luton, Bedfordshire
Posts: 45
I would say for the vast majority of alcoholics social drinking in moderation is turning the knob of a door that you just shouldn't open.
But we are all differant and for some people I believe that a return to moderate drinking is possible but risky. Outside factors that may have triggered alcohol abuse may no longer be a issue and knowledge of the potential pitfalls may actually help.
I have had my issues with alcohol in the past and I know just how destructive it has been to me and my relationships with others. Binge drinking at weekends was my main problem closely followed by a depressed state of mind during Mon/Tue. Whilst Moderation Management is my personal plan of action this clearly doesn't work for others and may indeed not work for me in the longterm ...
But we are all differant and for some people I believe that a return to moderate drinking is possible but risky. Outside factors that may have triggered alcohol abuse may no longer be a issue and knowledge of the potential pitfalls may actually help.
I have had my issues with alcohol in the past and I know just how destructive it has been to me and my relationships with others. Binge drinking at weekends was my main problem closely followed by a depressed state of mind during Mon/Tue. Whilst Moderation Management is my personal plan of action this clearly doesn't work for others and may indeed not work for me in the longterm ...
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
The real question is....how much fun is your drinking now. Sounds like an awful lot of effort obsessing on not getting drunk. Social drinkers don't think like that, nor do they drink like that. I have found that they never have to question it. I tried controlled drinking. I wasn't fun. and eventually I was back to the same routine as before drinking daily. Controlled drinking was an utter failure. So, here's my favorite new saying..If you hope you can drink, then I hope it for you. If you have a desire to stop drinking, it sounds like you know where to go. I found AA a real soft place to land after I went back out there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Disconneted from you heart...lol Don't you just love riddles..
That gose to show how long you haven't been to a meeting or disconnected
from recovery.
you know...remember...you can't think you're way into recovery,
but you can alway think yourself into a drunk.
Follow your heart..yeah the soft gentle vioce..the gut feeling
deep down inside, that peace of being in the moment and not your head..
use your head and follow your heart.
The question is...are you using your head or is your head using you ?
?...two years of AA..mmm somewhere alone the line..you did hear
that this alcoholism stuff ain't curable...remember...
perhase..you remember..stuff like...you don't need to experiment anymore.
oki doki...incase you do decide to experiment..lol
How about just scaning through the newbie section, first
or attend a couple of meeting and listen to same newbies, newbies
and ask them if it's still working or different in the years of 2007..lol
That gose to show how long you haven't been to a meeting or disconnected
from recovery.
you know...remember...you can't think you're way into recovery,
but you can alway think yourself into a drunk.
Follow your heart..yeah the soft gentle vioce..the gut feeling
deep down inside, that peace of being in the moment and not your head..
use your head and follow your heart.
The question is...are you using your head or is your head using you ?
?...two years of AA..mmm somewhere alone the line..you did hear
that this alcoholism stuff ain't curable...remember...
perhase..you remember..stuff like...you don't need to experiment anymore.
oki doki...incase you do decide to experiment..lol
How about just scaning through the newbie section, first
or attend a couple of meeting and listen to same newbies, newbies
and ask them if it's still working or different in the years of 2007..lol
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Not Me!
I got sober in 89, went to AA regular for about 4 years, then less, then less, finally got away from meetings/support.
Thought I was cured! Hey, I went 5+ years without a drink, maybe I'm not really an alkie. I'll just drink social like.
Oh, I managed to control it most of the time for maybe a year or so. Then I fell into the abyss.
That began 12+ years of hell.
Today I am 182 days sober, attend AA regularly, have a sponsor I call most every day, belong to a group, and am active in the program.
I ask for help every morniong, and I say thanks every night.
I don't ever want to go back to the way I was.
Ted
I got sober in 89, went to AA regular for about 4 years, then less, then less, finally got away from meetings/support.
Thought I was cured! Hey, I went 5+ years without a drink, maybe I'm not really an alkie. I'll just drink social like.
Oh, I managed to control it most of the time for maybe a year or so. Then I fell into the abyss.
That began 12+ years of hell.
Today I am 182 days sober, attend AA regularly, have a sponsor I call most every day, belong to a group, and am active in the program.
I ask for help every morniong, and I say thanks every night.
I don't ever want to go back to the way I was.
Ted
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 183
To me, the answer is definitely no. I was sober for a year before I started drinking again and when I did it started right where it left off. I blacked out every time I drank and it got worse really fast.
If we (alcoholics) couldn't control our drinking before, how could we control it now?
If we (alcoholics) couldn't control our drinking before, how could we control it now?
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