parentrecovers

in alanon, we talk about take what you want and leave the rest. blessings, k

SaTiT

I had a bit of a struggle with beliving in anything yet to belive in god when
the sheit hit the fan...
Ok I' must admitt I did those fox hole prayers...or rather beg.lol

I just kep seeing an image of what michael angelo painted. An old man
with lighting shooting out of his arss possibly pointed at me.

and no, the last thing i want to do was deal with god, higher power, spirits
or praying.

The thing about AA is...i didn't have to do a damn thing.
to belive or not to belive, to work the steps or not to work the steps.
obviously i don't have to read the book either.

I prob AA like i would prob anything.
The thing of it is..i didn't have to share in AA either.
I didn't have to..i swear , I thought everybody was talking about me.
How the hell these crazy people can possibly experince some of my
thoughts and insanity was a trip. it was kind of amusing actaully,
I had nowhere to go and I was sleeping in my car..I needed sometype
of entertainment.lol Some of the folks where actaully crazier than me.
that kind of made me sane for some reason.lol

but ya know..these folks where staying clean and sober and living life.
and actaully laughing without being wacked out of thier mind.
That's something that I didn't have at that time.

I just keep comeing back no matter what.
i had one of those ahha moments...drugs and alcohol was my HP and GOD
wheather I belive in it or not..i sure the hell didn't get hung up on destroying
myself by pumping pioson into my body...

Then I'm just going to get hung up on a conception or words...
It's amazing how i think..lmao

Tazman53

SaTiT you know like you, Alcohol was my HP, I like my new HP a lot better, he loves and forgives me along of course with helping me out when I listen!

teej

Welcome to SR Goddess!!

nocellphone

I like the suggestion to take what I like and leave the rest. I also like that I hear about "God as we understood...", which leaves me free to see "God" as I see fit, not as anyone else would have me believe.

I'm also free to not believe.

I had to stop looking for ways that I don't belong and cling to the ways that I do belong. That's what saved my life and gave me one worth living.

tiburon88

Goddess, don't let any of the "AA bullies" get to you. There are even agnostic meetings of AA. I find SOME AA meetings to be too religious. I know, I know, it's a spiritual program not religious. But sometimes "Bible Thumping" members like to chirp in with their Christian believes.

Carol87

According to Steps 3 and 11 it is ... God as we understood Him ...

Step 2 says ... a Power greater than ourselves ...

goddesseponia

3 days sober everyone!!! Thank you all so much for your responses..They are realy helping me to understand better!!!

Sugah

More and more, I'm fitting the description of "Buddhist" (though I still have an aversion to labels), and Buddhism is technically an atheistic religion. I don't have a problem today with the word "god" or even with the Lord's Prayer our groups around here use to close the meetings....because others have taken the time with me to help me fit those things into my concept of a HP.

I'm so glad religion was not required when I came through the door. Like Taz, I never would have stopped. As a matter of fact, there's no doubt in my mind I'd be dead by now. If the drink & the drugs didn't kill me, I fully intended to end my own suffering. I told others, "I can't take this religious stuff," and I was treated with much love, patience & tolerance as it was explained that religion wasn't part of it, but a sense of spirituality was -- and that I should concentrate on what I needed a "god" to be.

Also, for the record, it's not unusual to find something to be angry about. Hell, I never needed a reason. I had plenty of excuses to be angry, but the bottom line was that I was full of hate -- most of it self-directed. I let others love me until I could love myself.

Hang in there, congrats on your three days, goddesseponia (what does that mean, if you don't mind?), and keep on truckin'

Peace & Love,
Sugah

fraankie

larry once sgared
"religion is for people who don't want to go to hell,
spirituality is for people who have already been there"
so
AA is a spiritual program
maybe, you go to a group that is very God centered
try another
but
bear in mind
i've been to groups where their was a lot of cursing
as in f'g this and f'g that
you may pick that up
and
it doesn't work well to go around cursing a lot
finally
a woman was there with a baby
and
she started cursing
i walked out

you have to have a higher power, spirituality base
to develop a sense of moral values
itherwise, you may be sober
but
cheating on your taxes,
spreading malicious gossip about others,
cursing,
reckless driving,
robbing banks, etc

no one gets in trouble
by dropping to their knees to ask God for help


best
fraankie

Tazman53

Goddess what do you want your HP to be?

In AA you will find all types, some of the most spiritual people I know, my sponsor for one professes no religion at all, but he has found serenity and peace through his HP. What is his HP like? I have no idea, he has never shared what his HP is, one reason is it is his HP of his understanding, it is the HP that has kept him sober and happy for over 18 years.

My HP? Does it really matter to any one else? I understand my HP and he understands me. I did not have my HP defined for me by my sponsor or any one in the rooms of AA or in the BB.

I choose to call my HP God because if you read the definition below he fits right in there, no denomination, no tie to any religion, simply he meets the defenition:
Goddess you will find people in and out of the rooms who suffer from a form of paranoia, some how they think that every time some one metions the word God they are trying to force thier God upon them. This paranoia has kept more then one person miserable in the rooms.

Goddess when you hear some one talking about thier God in the rooms, keep in mind the God they mention is thier God of thier understanding and in no way are they trying to force thier God upon you. Only a Higher Power of your understanding can help you, not the Higher Power of some one else.

gypsytears

What if you don't believe that there is a higher power yet? The hp (of your understanding) is necessary for the "spiritual-ness" of AA isn't it?

paulmh

When I actually "did" the HP thang I just did it. Hard to explain, but I just "humbled" myself. Not "to" anything, I just humbled myself and things started to get better.

In retrospect it went something like this - and this is the intellectual version, not the felt one.

If the universe dies, I die.
If I die, the universe doesn't die.
Therefore I depend upon the universe more than the universe depends on me.

Voila, one HP.

I don't think accepting an HP is about finding G*d. I think it's about losing a false sense of ourself. It's therapeutic. Not philosophic.

And as Collinsmi once said, and I've never forgotten it, then we cross a bridge into recovery. Because there is no doubt in my mind, that all the times I tried to fix my alcoholism I was dicking about on one shore, but I didn't know it at the time.

Music

From the Big Book, Chapter 3, "More about Alcoholism."
"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."


So, bottom line is, we can argue about a higher power all day, but when the rubber hits the road and I need help, as I did in September of 1977, and nobody was there but me and God, I did what I had to do. I told God I was scared and didn't know what to do. I didn't drink, and I've never been faced with having to make that decision since that day.

BWMD

I too have a problem with the word God, and I have not figred out who he/she/it is yet, but I do feel that there is a power that helps us to make the right choices and the Free Will to make the wrong choices.

I am very new to AA, and no one in my meetings has mentioned the Bible. Everyone seems to have to find the Higher Power that is THEIR OWN Higer Power.

I am currently on Step 2, so I am not an expert.

SaTiT

GT,
nope...
religion or lack of religion...or creed.
Just a bunch of drunks trying to help one another stay sober for another day.
You don't have to work the 12 steps..

aviod negative, people, place, things, and habits
live a balance life
live one day at a time
be greatful for what you have.
Do the best with what you have
Spend time with nature, or stop and smell the roses.
where ever you go, there you are
forgive and forget.
freind and family are important..charrish them
just do it
you don't have all the answers
know thy self.
do on to others as you would do onto yourself
Beliving in yourself
ignor those who discorage you
love yourself first and formost......these things are not listed on the 12 steps.

AA didn't make up "live oneday at a time"...people been doing that for
aeons...

as an alki...my thinking is kind of wacked becuase of the damage alcohol did to my brain.
Somtimes...I need others to guide me through some rough waters..lol
And another ex-drunk undersrtands me best....
Becuase i forget how damn hot the fire was that last time i hop into the fire.lol
and hell...i rather be with a bunch of ex-drunks than to be lost and all alone.
These people had walked the miles. suffered as I've suffered
so when they share...they ain't shooting crap out of there's arsses.
When stragers reached out to give me a hand and expect nothing in retrun.....
that's something i don't see everyday in society

Sunlight81

Just read page 2, had to change my post. Even rude people can be helpful. Some people need rude. Some people need gentle. That's why the fellowship is so big. There is room for all of us. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Tazman53

Gypsy you do not have to beleive, simply be willing to beleive.

When you feel that warm feeling inside when you have done something special for some one else where do you think that comes from?

When you are getting ready to do some thing and a small whisper inside of you tells you that what you are about to do is wrong, do you ever wonder what that is?

Keep in mind though, you do not have to believe in a Power greater then your self, simply be willing to believe.

Tazman53

BWMD your HP does not have to come out of the Bible, Torah, or the Koran, by what you have stated you are on your way to having a HP that you understand, there is nothing that states you have to understand every detail about your HP, simply that you "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Your HP does not have to have a name nor a gender, I chose to call mine God because if you look up the defenition of God, it is not Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or what ever.

El Gato

Wouldn't it be better if God were a part discovery and not something you had to declare at your first meeting?