Buxykay

My friend is addicted to alcohol. We have been trying to help him but he doesn´t take warnings. Now he is on the verge of divorce because his wife can take it no longer. Has anyone similar experience how we can help him? Thanks.

laurie6781

To be perfectly blunt and honest................YOU CAN'T.

He has to WANT sobriety. Yes, I understand he needs it, you see his world falling apart, but he does not. Possibly his wife leaving may be a 'wake up call' and it may not.

Interventions, work, ONCE IN A WHILE, but most that I have seen, or heard about, the individual goes back to what they know (drinking) because they didn't WANT sobriety.

Unfortunately, with all the alkies I have seen and/or worked with over the last almost 26 years, it was the progression of the alcoholism (the sometimes slow and sometimes quick descent into HELL) that made them WANT sobriety.

It would probably help him more to be of support to his wife. If there are children, offer to watch the kids while she attends some Alanon meetings for her.

Some great books to get and read are Co-dependent No More and Under The Influence. Both are available at Amazon.com. It would be good to share those also with his wife.

Alanon could be of help to you also. Alanon is for FRIENDS and FAMILY of an alcoholic.

The current 'guesstimate' is that an alcoholic affects about 20 people around them (family, friends, and co-workers). We have a "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" Forum here that you might want to check out:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

Welcome to Sober Recovery Buxykay. Here you will find others who have wanted to do what you want to do and have lots of Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) to share.

Love and hugs,

Peter

Hi, welcome to the forums.

As you may already know it is extremely difficult to convince an alcoholic to get help.

You cannot help someone who does not want to help themself.Most of us had to experience the worse kind of pain and suffering before we began to listen to a voice of reason.The most you can do is provide him with some recovery brochures and information and hope that when he is ready he will get the help he needs.

You could try an "intervention".

An intervention is when loving family and friends hold a meeting with the alcoholic and tell him how his drinking is affecting them and urging him to seek help but it is important to remember that these meetings must be free from hostility and judging and ultimatums.You can go online and find some useful information from the experts about interventions.

Best of luck to you.

CarolD

I ditto Laurie...and hope you use the link she posted.

Blessings

Pick-a-name

My marriage just ended (HE initiated it;didn't want to stop drinking and still is able to "appear" pretty successful) after 27yrs and two (frustrated and fed-up) children/young adults. Another great book (especially for your frined's wife) are the Getting Them Sober books by Toby Rice Drews for some practical changes she can make in her own living and AlAnon.

Please join us over on the Family and Friends forum here and invite her to go there,too. Wonderful caring people who understand.

Best of luck to all of you!