teej

as opposed to ???????? you are either on the wagon or you are not? Can someone explain this?

Toomutch

When you drink extra dry martinis... lol

Tazman53

A dry drunk is some one who has simply quit drinking, they are doing nothing to change them selfs or any thing. They are white knuckling it.

I used to do it a lot before I had to drink every day, I was a miserable SOB, all I did was sit around wanting a drink, that was my life, not drinking.

Astro

Well, if I didn't attend AA meetings and have a solid 12 Step recovery program in place I'd be a dry drunk. Anotherwards, you can remove the alcohol but the mental obsession remains. I'd be just as nasty and sick as I ever was in spite of being dry. Just because I sobered up didn't mean I was healthy. For me it takes prayer, meditation, meetings, friends in the Fellowship, and complete faith in a higher power to gave me that daily reprieve from my insanity.

I'll take another 24 hours please:-)

BigSis

Mr. Big and I chose that method of quitting... just stopping, not changing anything.

We became control-aholics and rage-aholics.... We got divorced and then remarried and spent YEARS and YEARS in regular counseling trying to figure out "what" was wrong... since neither of us drank, we didn't figure we were alcoholic.

Since I got into a 12-step program, through Alanon, my life has changed DRAMATICALLY over the past 3 years - and that includes my relationship with Mr. Big, who has attended 1 (one) Alanon meeting.

I've acknowledged my addictions, became aware of a couple other problem areas and have been working the steps and studying the traditions.

The change has been INCREDIBLE. (I know, shouting again... I'll try to contain my exuberance... smile).


For me, I've lived both. I wasn't aware of being a dry drunk, but I knew my life was generally unhappy and difficult, but couldn't figure out why. Now that I know better, I do better.

Just my ESH... (((TJ)))

teej

okay, thanks all.

My slip (still at it) was celebration time. My bestest friend was coming over and I had this extreme urge to just say fk it and party down. Well I did. Now I'm paying the price, cuz it's so hard to get my mind set on day 1. I need to buck up on friends coming over, going out, holidays etc. this time around.

I'll get it.

Peter

I do not subscribe to the "dry drunk" philosophy simply because recovery is not a "measurable commodity".

I know what the expression means but we all do not recover at the same pace or time...... or even in the same manner.

Just because someone has stopped drinking and may be having a difficult time of it does not make him a "dry drunk".The term is a negatory one and I refrain from using it.

"On the wagon or off the wagon" is a term I first heard in AA.

"On the wagon" Implies someone who has given up drinking on his own and without any outside form of support.

In other words; "I have gone on the wagon many times before in the past in an effort to curtail my drinking but always fell off again"

I believe it has it's origins in some colourful history where condemnded men on their way to their execution in the back of a wagon were not allowed a final drink. I've heard a few other explanations but I like that one the most

Hope that helped.

teej

well, My mind wondered.........from the topic, sorry

teej

I guess I wasnt a dry drunk when I quit last, I went to AA and loved my meetings. I miss them terribly but I cant walk through the doors if I've had a beer that day because it would make me feel like a fraud. My sponsor called me this morning at 6AM and said "just giving you a wake up call!" ............I miss being sober. I need to stop.

chrisj728

Well to me a dry drunk is a term used within AA to describe some one who is not drinking but also not working the 12 step programe of AA.
My own personal oppinion is that as long as your not drinking, then you are sober! but if you dont gain some insight into this disease either by personal research or as in AA through a well mapped out recovery programe then you will always stand a chance of returning to alcohol.
I also feel that to stand any chance of holding on to sobriety you can not replace the alcohol with any other drug with the exception of doctor prescribed meds.
If you try to replace alcohol with say pot then you only leave the door open for alcohol to return.

only my opinion chris

chrisj728

was the wake up call worthwhile

Astro

No, doesn't sound to me like you were a dry drunk. You just had a slip. Sobriety Loses It's Priority. If you miss the meetings and miss being sober then please go back, remember that "the only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking". Sounds like you meet that requirement!

teej

well you seemed to be making it ok chris.

teej

I do astro, just afraid of the withdrawls. Thanks .....I'll git er done

chrisj728

But i knew that it was a bridge that would need crossing one day, just that the bridge collapsed halfway across.
You've gotta get back to what was keeping you sober, freedom is only gained by the struggle to change.

hope3

What dry drunk means to me.

I made my own deffinition from all the different things I

have read in different alcoholism forums and programs.

A dry drunk to me is someone who has stoped drinking. No matter what they are not going to drink, thats it...They don't want to find out the reasons why they felt they needed to drink, or why they used drinking for the good and bad times in thier life...

Problem is, they usually drank as a means of coping with, whatever.....They usually find themselved determined and do not drink, but find themselves unhappy and believe thats just the way it is.....They seek no further to find happiness and broaden thier coping abilities...they stay in a safe shell of sobriety.. hey i'm not drinking....thats all that is important....kind of mentality..

In MHO, if a person makes a life altering change in thier life, an awakening usually happens and they grow... They need to know the why's, the the hows and the reasons behind them to be meaningful....

This is really hard to put into words, but bottom line is we stay alkies, because of fear, we need to know what we fear to resolve it.. so when we sober up, to truly be whole we need to face the fears we had and resolve before moving on...

My two cents anyway,

the problem is they usually are no more happier sober than they were drunk...Thier fears they had as a drunk are still there, they just don't drink.

They barracade themselves into this nonexistant safe zone, and are usually miserable..

All I know is there is so much more...hope3

teej

thank you Hope

teej

yes and no

chrisj728

well if it helped then get back to it

chrisj728

we can't change the past, its there within us forever. But if we choose to change the future the next second is crucial.