Pilgrim

Hey TJ

I like this thread. We are in the same place.

One thing that helped me was when someone said that I was still on the journey. The journey towards a good happy life. I hadn't left the road. We can't go back to the old road now. That road was full of denial and there were no road signs. We know so much more than we did last time and nothing can take that away from us.

And something else they said that helped was that it is my journey. No one else's. That took away expectations of myself. It gave me some freedom to choose what to do today without feeling like I was being a twit.

Love and hugs

TINLIZZY

TJ -

I'm so sorry that you have not yet come back. In the short time that I have been going to AA and outpatient, I have seen several people fall, fail, and just quit. It's disappointing and disheartening. I see so much in you and in your attitude. Please don't give up. You are worth it!!

TinLizzy

chrisj728

Listen you say the only thing thats stopping you trying again is the fear of the withdrawls. Well im scared of the withdrawls as well and thats one of the things that stops me from drinking a soon as the sh!t hits the fan.
So just think that this could be the last time you ever have to withraw, if you want it to be.
Just use that strength you've got to get through the first week, your sooo worth it.

teej

thank you liz & steph. Chit, all I gotta do is make it past day 1, then it's a lot easier. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be doing it. Trying really hard to get it into my head.

teej

thanks chris. I'm trying......I just gotta try harder!

chrisj728

tj dont be hopefully doing it tomorrow, be positive about doing it today. Stop now!
or guess what! youll get up in the morning feeling cr4p and you'll find some reason to crack open a cold one just to make you feel better. Then you'll be off again , riding with the four horse men. I know you can do it tj, get out in your garden,sort buttons, go feed the ducks, just do anything to keep occupied. And get going back to meetings, the only requirement is the desire to stop. kk

chris

chrisj728

k im cerfewed , ill send some , tj just by coming back on here your trying already and thats what counts.
stay strong in head and heart.

chris

teej

Go to bed Chris, it's late there!

I CANT stop RIGHT NOW! Holy cow, there's beer left. I'll do my best for the A.M. though. Thats a fact.

teej

.........uh whats the word you use?

teej

snap! thats it

chrisj728

k tj i think you will too!!!. cuz u is d strongest women i ever met.

inabit

chrisj728

snap 2 tj lol

teej

Doubt that! But anyway thank you for caring!! I'll try.

Zencat

I believe the term “dry drunk” is a form of prejudice called “labeling”. Its an easy way to identify a person that may not fit the definition of someone in addiction recovery because of their anger, hostility, personal views, or whatever that seems low functioning by the labeler. I try to avoid labeling others.

Dee74

might have to hold you to this...don't make me hafta do this, TJ


D

Dee74

to me the issue here is not labels or definitions, but the clear fact that not drinking is only the *first* step in gaining a full and truly 'whole-some' life.

thanks
D

teej

hehe Dee, thank you.

TenPacks

The way it was explained to me is best represented by the Three-Headed Dragon:

1st head is actual Usage - drinking, smoking weed, doing drugs, whatever.
2nd head is your negative or denying Thinking - I'll be okay, I don't need help... it's just that xxxxx pisses me off... people are a$$holes... things never work out, so why bother trying?... life sucks... etc.
3rd head is your core Feelings - I'm no damn good, nobody ever liked me, I will always fail eventually, I have no right to be happy or loved, I'm stupid/ugly/whatever.

Killing the first head is not that hard for a surprising number of people - but doing NOTHING about the other two heads just leaves those heads to breathe life back into the first one. That is a "dry-drunk". You may not drink anymore, which is good - but you haven't fixed whatever it is that you mistakenly thought the drinking would help.
And sooner or later, you will likely (note I said likely) meet up with the first head again. I know I have.

To kill the other two heads often means getting involved with some form of counseling - have you ever seen a Doctor operate on HIMSELF? AA has helped a lot of people, but there are other ways like cognitive therapy, relapse prevention or alternate programs. I'm just starting on that stuff.
One thing I am just learning about now is the general area of "triggers and rituals" - fascinating stuff. But I also go to Noon AA meetings every day that I can. Just being with people who have traveled the same path is a relief.... No, you are NOT crazy, you are ill - physically or emotionally or spiritually. Maybe a little of all.

lanie67

I think it's stinking thinking that takes over. One of my sponsors used to always remind me of the saying "under stress, I regress", meaning that when I get stressed out I fall back into my old ways of thinking. She also used to say that "either you are moving forward or backward. I kind of understand that, either I am working the steps and uncovering more layers of the onion or I am moving backward by not looking at my behavior and thought processes and rationalizing them. I've had times in recovery where I've done both, and with the latter I get in so much pain that a drink would seem like a cure but I know it is not. However far I go into the woods that is how far I have to come out, so I get in these spots and have to dig myself right back out of them. I don't know if I would call it a dry drunk or not, because that term is a little ill-fitting, to me that is more someone who doesn't use any program of recovery to get sober and is miserable both within themselves and to be around...but the mental state I get in when I don't work as hard on my program as I should could theoretically lead to a wet drunk. Like the book says, it's just a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

chrisj728

u is, i do ,u will.