St_Kurt

I know everyone on here is going to hate me for posting this, but I haven't been to an AA meeting since I got my 30 day coin and I feel so much better that it's like ... unbelievable.

Going to meetings was seriously driving me crazy and when I asked for advice from my sponsor, other folks from AA, or what have you ... the responses never made sense to me. They were like : "slow down with your school work and attend more meetings" and things like that. Huh?

I've slept better in the last 2 weeks than I have in months and that was with 7 final exams to study for and take. Now that the semester is over I have no excuse not to go back, but I don't want to.

(I stopped going due to lack of time in addition to the numerous complaints I received for studying during meetings. I don't understand why it was a problem if I sat with a piece of paper on my lap reviewing while I listened to people talk, but for many it was. People knit, doddle, smoke, eat, and drink coffee during meetings. I can't do 2 things at once too?)

I still read my AA literature, hang out with people from AA, and don't drink, but I really don't want to go back to meetings again. I think AA is a great program and I love seeing the difference it's made in people's lives, but for me ... it made my life feel more out of control than when I was drinking.

Is it possible it just doesn't work for everybody?

-e

parentrecovers

glad to hear you're staying sober. blessings, k

findingout

No hate here.

I think it can be said that A.A. works for people who want it to work and who are willing to do what it takes to make it work for them. Obviously, that is not everybody. But I don't believe A.A. has an exclusive on recovery. There are other ways.

I go to A.A. and N.A. meetings because they work for me, but I'm not in recovery to go to meetings... I go to meetings to stay in recovery. If you can stay clean and serene without going to meetings, then you can stay clean and serene without going to meetings. If you can't, then you can't.

A month and a half is great no matter how you did it. Congratulations

Astro

If you don't need the meetings as part of your recovery program that's great. I've been sober for two years and feel the exact opposite, I can't do without them. Just do what works best for you, and keep an open mind about going back if you ever felt like they'd be helpful again.

Peter

Why would anyone hate you Kurt?

You went to AA and got a start in your recovery and have decided to move on, that's fine.

I am glad that AA was able to help you.

paulmh

Yup, you know where it is if you wanted it in the future.

Anyone would think it was some kinda cult the way you talk....

lol!

Tazman53

Kurt AA is not for everyone, no one is going to hate you or tell you not going to meetings is wrong, you tried meetings for a while and for now have found you are better without them, as long as you are sober and happy who cares, you know that if you ever feel the need again you will be welcome back with open arms.

Heck even Dr. Bob and Bill W. continued to check out other options for recovery because they knew that AA was not for everyone, in one of the AA books I read Dr. Bob mentions a lady who moved on from AA to a religous movement of some sort and maintained a happy sobriety.

TINLIZZY

Hey Kurt -

I love AA and it is working for me. If you're sober, happy, content, and not drinking without AA or another program, more power to you. There's more than one way to skin a cat!

Oops, I forgot you're a vet student!!

TinLizzy

came2believe

Hey Kurt,
Still full of love here... I agree with what's said above, if you are doing great then by all means do what is working. Open mindedness is a good thing, I find that sometimes in life I need more meetings than others. If you know yourself pretty well, you'll know what you need. I hope you won't leave SR though! We'd miss ya. xx

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Kurt,

AA works for me. I can't get to as many meetings as I would like due to my retail work schedule so I go when I can. I do spend time here at SR and I am reading and researching some of the literature on alcoholism and I talk to my sponsor pretty much daily.I would prefer to get to more meetings but I just can't. I do go to my regular group meeting every week and I was able to get that evening off every week.

You know sometimes I resist calling someone but one day it occured to me that when I do talk to one of my friends in AA I feel good. So why the heck do I resist doing something that I enjoy? I guess I am just backwards at times.

Ted

miss communicat

Kurt,

You sound great.

I started recovery in AA, and left for 9 years and stayed sober. I did have a relapse, though, and am now back in AA, and the awesome thing is that AA is cool with whatever works for you, and will be there if you ever feel the need to revisit the fellowship.

Pilgrim

Hi Kurt

I like this thread. It sounds like you have a great big recovery toolbox and you can pick and choose which feels best for you depending on how you feel today. You are putting your recovery and well being first and that is so great.

I was starting to find meetings like my gym membership. A great big must do thing and if I missed one, I was doooooommmeed. After work I would come home, cook dinner. Then I would run out the door leaving my kids cosy at home with a babysitter (which takes forever to organise) on a cold rainy night in a panic to try to find a meeting somewhere across town in the middle of a red light district at night. The meeting would be nice enough and I wasn't drinking but then I would have to take the babysitter home and get my children to bed. By then it was late at night and I hadn't had dinner.

It would have been better for my recovery to be safe at home, on SR and with my children. I don't think that "no excuses", "90 meetings in 90 days" thing is always the best way to help us stay sober.

I like meetings still but if I want to stay home and watch a movie and spend time here on SR so I don't feel so lonely, what's the damage? As long as recovery is not in trouble. The Panicky rushing around solo working mother trying to get to meetings thing was not what AA meetings were intended to provide. I am pretty sure of that.

Go Kurt!!

care4uNJ

Just out of curiosity, what are other viable recovery options other than AA/12 step programs.

Taking5

Smart
Rational Recovery
SOS
Lifering

There may be others, this is covered in detail in the secular forum.

paulmh

There's a sticky at the top of the Secular Forum with a list of alternatives. You'll find it here -

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html

There are different systems to suit different temperaments. But the word you use - "viable"? It's not what the system brings that makes it viable. It's what I bring that makes it viable.

CarolD

Here is the link we have here on the top of this forum
for recovery programs...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Find something that gives you health and joy.

Thanks for sking : care4uNJ

Blessings

CarolD

Glad to see you again Kurt...
and that you are ding well

collinsmi

I can't speak for others, just myself. I know in times past when I quit going to meetings I quit doing other AA things, and I wound up drinking again. At first it was great but things always headed downhill fast (not unlike most of my drunks).

Good luck!

CarolD

Well....
I have never gone over 5 days without a meeting
since my last drink in '89.

I love recovery and take no chances on losing sobriety!

Grasshopper

people complainning,giving advise that makes no sence to you.People are not AA,they are only members.Prinicapls before personailities,which i KNOW,is not easy at times...smile..DO whats best for your recovery.Meetings ,for me are,, the fellowship,but the meat and potatoes are living and applying the 12 steps to my life.
Folks will always been folks,,lol.they will complain,shake ya up,thats life on lifes terms,if im at a meeting or not.it happens whever i go.If advise doesnt make sence to you now,it may make sence down the road,or maybe it wont.But working the program,the promises do come true.IT works--when--i--work it!!!
maybe down the road,you may feel differently,keep the doors open.your chair is always there,for you.