TINLIZZY

I've had a shi**y day! I spent my entire work day at the computer and answering the phone to "911" calls. As soon as I started one thing, someone was calling me with something else that needed to be done right NOW. I left the house for outpatient late, got stuck in traffic, and was afraid that I would be tardy. (I'm only able to miss three appoitments without being kicked out, so being late is a big deal.)

Tonight's toppic at outpatient was stress relief. Rather on point I thought! Their advice was a breathing exercise. That's about as effective as Lamaz was for child birth. Deep breathing is not going to take away my stress or the pain or child birth!!

Last night the topic at AA was "giving it up". Again, I can't relate! God is not going to take away my client's wants, needs, or wishes. He is not going to give me more hours in the day, make my husband show up and want to help, or make my teenage girls more amenable; perhaps, He can give me more tolerance!

In the past (30 odd days ago), I would have began drinking around 12:00 - 1:00 to soften the day. Tonight I sit here drinking my Chi tea and ranting on SR.

Baby steps . .

TinLizzy

igfan

This is a much better option.....way to go!

paulmh

Baby steps is right....

... and you're right of course, your HP isn't going to take away your clients' wants, needs or wishes. But what you can do is let go of your stressful response - if you want to. There are very few things we actually have power over. Clients, partners, children and the number of hours in the day being some things we don't. My sponsor keeps telling me - do your best, and accept the consequences.

Well done on being on the chi tea, and posting.

RedFox

Keep up the ranting if that makes you feel better. I know it helps me

I'm sorry you had a shi**y day. I know what the constant phone calls are like. My job here on campus is student tech support. Lets just say students FREAK out if something goes wrong on their computer. It's the end of the world if it doesn't get fixed NOW.

Sometimes I'd just like to reach through the phone and

nanita

Hang in there, Liz. You're day is over and you're on to a new one (and hopefully, a better one). I know you can do it!!

Tazman53

Liz meetings help me a lot, but venting helps to! Here is a good place, but you know some times a good old fashion blood curdling angry scream helps to!!!

If you have neighbors then just get in your car with the windows up and scream until you feel better!!

I know it sounds stupid, but it does help me to GET IT OUT!!!!!!

Punching bags (Not your husband or kids) help to if you need to be more physical then screaming!

If this keeps up talk to your sponsor, she may have some better suggestions then this old man, heck sometimes just talking to some one in AA about nothing helps.

parentrecovers

how's tin?

barb dwyer

hey Tinny!!!

I read this post at the beginning of my shift, and thought about it ...
then my OWN night went to ... sh** ...

but I didn't want to drink...

I wanted to go upstairs and show a drunk guest just what COULD happen threatening a front desk clerk in MT ... (wild wild west) Go all Clint Eastwood on the man ...

I wanted to ask the police I had to call for that same guest go upstairs and tazer the guy to see just how potty trained he really is ... actually I wanted to ask them for the tazer, then to let ME go do it ....

I wanted to rip the phone right out of the wall, and throw it through the huge plate glass window ....

I wanted to back my car over the computer and its program all the way to central offices ....

but it didn't occur to me to drink ...

maybe that's part of the promises, I dunno.
I didn't do any of those other things either -
but it was fun to imagine doing them ...
it's not fun to imagine drinking any more...

we'll be amazed before we are halfway through ...

Debaucher

I have stress coping issues... deep breathing was really like trying to spit out a camp fire... or I like your analogy... something that has worked wonders for me in the past is something called progressive relaxive theropy... basically you practice tensing and relaxing muscle groups... I thought it was hokus pokus but after doing it for a while I got good at relaxing... and when I felt tension in my shoulders and neck I could just take a deap breath and feel my muscles relax... I haven't practiced it much lately and so I am not as good at it... but I still use it... Also... when I was regularly practice the relaxation technique... I could go through a 10-15 minute excercise and feel as if I took an hour nap...

Nor can you! You can't make your clients not be demanding... (the wisdom to know the difference)... but you can choose how it makes you feel...

Once upon a time I reacted with anger to most everything... somebody told me once that it was because I was an egocentric SOB... I didn't get it then... Ex... this morning I went down stairs and we have a bench that opens up and our shoes are in there... well all the time my wife piles stuff up there... and every day I have to take stuff off it to get in it... well I go all mad this morning... WHY? because I was so self centered I thought my wife put the mail there in my way... I was mad because my convienence was more important than hers... (OH I promptly admitted I was a jerk...) My point is that part of giving it up is accepting that you don't have to understand all the why's and how's... that you don't think you have to do everything... in doing so you MUST humble yourself.... and with humility comes the serenty... and when we know true serenity it is difficult to become overstressed...

Ok back to work... where I am having a very stressful morning... THANK YOU because I needed to think about this topic...

TINLIZZY

Hey Everyone -

Thanks for your responses/encouragement.

Barb - Can I rent a tazer, just for awhile. I may not even need to use it, but it sure would be fun to pull out every now and then!!

Debaucher - I AM very controlling and therefore self centered. I've admitted it, and am trying/learning to change my ways. Again, baby steps! I'm thinking about a stress management course at the local hospital after I'm done with outpatient. It can't hurt. I'm even willing to give the breathing another try!!

I'm feeling much better this am. I took a half an hour and had a coffee on the sidewalk in my little hamlet. And, I turned OFF my cell phone. Oops, I forgot to turn it back on - - maybe later. Everyone will get responses today, just on my time and without distraction to what I am doing.

I want to rent a funny movie this evening. Any suggestions??

TinLizzy

Rowan

Little Miss Sunshine!

Hope you're having a better day Lizzy!

Tazman53

Good to hear you are doing better today Liz.

miss communicat

TINLIZZY

You are already getting better, just by coming here, drinking chai Tea and ranting...lol.

Life sounds hectic, as it often is, and you're right: stress release is HARD when you're in the thick of it.

I've found that I need to carve out a little time and space....whether its a bubble bath, a book in a cafe, a massage, a workout or class...something that allows me to pull my focus back in to myself and only 1 task at hand. Centering in this or in any way you prefer, allows the nerves to settle down. THEN, breathing excersises can make sense.

If you or anyone is not capable of holding still or being in silence for a few minutes, breathing excersise are torture....ineffective.

My best advice is to take baby steps. Tea and SR is excellent!

Bubble bath or walk in nature could be next. Moderate your schedule a bit...

good luck! i know how hard it is with a full plate, to relax!

leviathon

Fortunately there is a difference between WANTING a drink and NEEDING a drink. From what you are saying you simply want one... well, just keep saying no. You are getting there.

As a lawyer, I can relate to your situation. It is very easy to take all the wants and needs of clients and to absorb them onto ourselves and then use that as an excuse to drink. All you are doing is making up excuses at the end of the day though.

Peace,

Levi

Dee74

glad you got through it TL...we new guys gotta stick together !

D

Taking5

Funny Movies:

Stripes
Dirty Rotten Scoudrels
A Fish named Wanda


Or for a combo of sports and comedy:
Tin Cup
Major League
The Waterboy

I don't get out to movies much so most of these are at least 10 years old, but still funny.

teej

dumb and dumber is my favorite funny movie!!! If you havent seen it (sure you have by now) It's worth buying.

Love story -- (when your feeling like one) Somewhere in Time!!

Hang in there, your doing great!

TINLIZZY

Thanks again everyone -

I'm thinking of Office Space for a movie tonight. Truly a "belly laugh"!! Or, maybe some Christopher Guest.

Miss Communicat - You hit the nail on the head. I have to begin to relax/let go and be in the right place to have the breathing exercises even have a chance to work. That's why I'm thinking of the stress management class.

I had a great noon AA meeting that totally got me out of my head, and yes, I've turned my cell phone back on . . .

Looking forward to a great weekend!

TinLizzy

teej

The stress management class sounds pretty cool. I might look into stuff like that as well along with AA.

RedFox

I LOVE that movie. That's our official movie at work. We're tech support for students here at the university so watching that is like watching us, lol.