Emimily

hi everyone...

i just started working with a new sponsor (who i LOVE!), and we're in a step study with our sponsor family reading the book, etc. we're going to do the third step prayer, hopefully this week, and then another 4th step, etc. etc. i'm pretty excited to be working the steps again, but i have a question about my 10th and 11th steps.

i didn't plan to stop working a tenth and eleventh step daily, but i'm wondering if because we're working the steps again if i should. now, i know i need to talk to her about that as well, but i kind of wanted to weigh in on what other kids in recovery thought of it.

also, as a more technical question, do a lot of you write out your eleventh step stuff? i'm going to try to start writing mine out because i think it'll help me focus more... it's just so hard to get motivated to write at like, 11:30 p.m. when i'm laying in bed... :bigsmile:

so yeah, any input welcome, please and thank you!

Slowbriety

whats to write on step 11?

and as far as your 10th and 11th step, why would you stop, they are matinence(sp) steps that should be done everyday.

Emimily

the 11th step is the one where you go over your day and ask yourself where you've been selfish, etc. that's what i meant. for some reason, people think that's the tenth step, but in the book it says that's the 11th step.

"This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."

"Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken."

i guess i just think of the 11th step as the writing part. it's weird though, 'cause just from the 12 steps it seems like the 10th step would be what you write about, but it's supposed to be immediate, y'know?

Slowbriety

....

Emimily

well, the quote in my last post is from the big book. i mean... in the twelve steps it says that step 10 is continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it and step 11 is sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

that's in the chapter "how it works" and i pulled the quotes from my last post from the chapter "into action" so yeah...

weird, right?

Slowbriety

whatever works.

Emimily

um... so do you write out your 10th step (11th step, whatevs)?

Slowbriety

no.

parentrecovers

hey emimily, no advice for you as i have not gotten that far in my own step work. but i'm glad you have a great new sponsor and feel happy about working the steps. blessings, k

Tazman53

Just my 2 cents worth, I am just now starting on the 9th step, I was told by my 1st sponsor to try and live 10 & 11 right from the get go while working the other steps. He said taking a daily personal inventory and making amends on a daily basis would help me find it easier living one day at a time and would be prep work for steps 4 & 9.

I was kind of bummed Saturday, I thought I was going to be able to take care of a few of my amends, but time ran out, I have some others I owe amends to though so I will be taking the actions.

Emimily

hey taz, your sponsor sounds like he's got some good ideas. making amends is weird when you're first doing them, y'know? i made amends to a few of my friends, and they were all like "no buddy, it's cool, we just thought you partied like us." after a while, it got easier. especially living amends... those were SO hard when i was very newly sober. still am, i guess.

thanks!

SaTiT

For me #10..it saids what it saids.
promptly, mmm that's tricky.lol
i guess you go through a learning curve working 1-9 the first times,
So you do it faster and better the more you practice it. Then it becomes
Living it.

Number #11 thats a matter of tastes .
I prefer to meditate
A medition can just be a simple walk in the park or a sunset.
I sit and hummm sometimes..but i learned, that's all i hear is the damn hummmm.
So i did the improvement of sittng still next to a pond throwing bread to the ducks
and just being in the moment, so i can hear other than whats going around in my
head.

so i did #12 by sharing this.

Tazman53

SaTiT my sponsor & I together looked up meditation in the dictionary, we thought it would include the yoga definition along with the listening to your HP definition, we both were surpised to learn that it did not include the yoga definition so popular in the 60's thru the 80's, it is more about kind of planning ones day, mixing prayer with listening to our HP directions when we do have questions.

I had thought it was the yoga type for serenity only.

hopeOct31

Emimily,
I have heard a few people say at f2f meetings that the 10th and 11th step are the steps that can be worked out of order. Especially the 10th which can be worked from the start for some people. We never stop doing the steps, if we work the program like it is said we should. We will often be on a step that is previous to those we are already using.
All the best,
HopeOct31

GlassPrisoner

Glad you're excited about your recovery, and congrats to you.

I always wanted to "jump ahead" too. Especially my 8th & 9th. We read "To Wives" one night and all I wanted to do was call my ex & apolgize.

Anyway, my sponsor pulled my reigns in, and suggested I work steps 3-7 first.....Which I did. I've got some pretty good recovery for 6 months.

Anyway, I would suggest the same. Work your way there, and take the steps when the time comes.

Tazman53

GP you have spoken wisely IMO, the last thing one wants to do is start doing the 9th step without out a sponsor.

Emimily

yeah, i agree... i've worked 1-9, continue to work a 10th and 11th and i've had a sponsor throughout my recovery.

collinsmi

I do those 11th step questions. Type the answers into a word document and save the file to the day's date each day. I would imagine keep up with them, but I'd ask the sponsor.

Emimily

that's a good idea, but i don't have a computer at home, so i think i'll be using the low-tech version... a.k.a. a notebook and pen.

SaTiT

Another way I meditate is through music. I'm a musician.
Playing my guitar takes a lot of focus, discipline, and dedication.
Some people might say I have talent...
true, but it's 90%, practice, practice, practice.
I have tunes bouncing in my head..when the muse shows up.
It's transfering that music from head to my finger, to my guitar.
Sometimes i don't even know what's happen from a measure to the next.
It's the same when I paint on a canves.

I'm basically in a state of grace when I play my guitar sometimes,
especially when i improvise. It's a trip, becuase i find myself
just obvering myself playing without hitting a sour notes.
As if time slowed down or dosn't exist
I don't worry about hitting sour notes I just let go.
I find in those moment my soul is much quicker than my brain.
It happens too fast sometimes for me to think about it,
becuase if I think too much about it...then it interupt the flow
or that's when I start hitting sour notes or miss a beat.
In other words I'm doing it with grace.
or I've learned to mastered or discipline my brain.

Kind of like a formula 1 driver doing 200mph around the track.
He/she is not thinking about dinner during a race.

oneday at a time, down to five minutes at a time, down to
a moment at a time, down to just being ..
I belive this is also why newbies gets on the pinkcloud, grace.
It's having to do it five minutes at a time and from moment to moment.

well...you know, when we first got sober.
one foot in yesterday and a one foot in tommorow and a ****'in
all over today.