SaTiT

Personally it dosn't bother me oneway or the other what people thought.
I didn't ask for permission to drink and I certainly don't need a
permission to stop. I don't have to like everybody in AA or wherever.
If anything AA had thought me to stand up for myself.

Maybe I'm a codi...probably the day I told an alcoholic I love her
so on that day I became codi instantly.lol

Hell i didn't even wanted to stop drinking when i first came into AA.
No court cards either...What the hell else do you think a drunk would
chase into AA. ? The lord works in mysterous ways.lmao

Beats me what brand of AA anybody came from. I can only
share my ESH. All I know is, the folks in AA never gave me a hard
time at any moment I step into the rooms of AA no matter how many
times I relapsed. I didn't get right the first ,second, or third time.
Well...they never went and draged my arss out of the bar either,
which was only two doors down from AA...

Hell...i relapsed after 12 years of being sober and it took a newbie to
PM me everyday for weeks before I could ever attend F2F meetings.
Nobody gave me a hard time ..i just thought they would in my head tho..lol
Something about not pleages to sign and dues to paid, and no lecture to endure.

Nope, I can't save anyone...suely i learned that lessen well from being a codi,
I have 32 months...again.lol
However..I'm only one beer from being a total drunk, drunk.
I can only keep what I have by giving it away...That's the brand of AA
that was injected into me.

one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other...HS...
that's what the newbie told me.lol

Music

I'm reminded of the story about a little boy who cried wolf. Talk's cheap Homer. Action speaks louder than words. Have a nice day.

Mercedes1

For the record, my post (IMO) was was in no way kicking a man when down?

I am one that gives it straight.

I see homer's threads (all 3years of them) as getting no where. My sharing was my observation to someone I felt was in a pit and just digging deeper, not someone sharing that was trying. Sympothy goes so far. For me what helped to get to the other side was getting it straight.. I had someone very close to me basically leave me to my hell. I felt the same as Homer...how harsh. Now....I am 4.5 moths sober (and that is NOT a holier than though comment).... it is HOPE!!!!.....

I am greatful GOD allowed everyone else to clear out. Even if that person I cared about was still in my life...I needed to come face to face with my bulls&^* and in retrospect don't think I would be here if that person was still "helping". So my post was to Homer's comments of why leave someone to their bottom. I had no where else to turn. and that is EXACTLY what I needed.

People may not benefit (including Homer) from my point of view but for me, I am not after someone trying to spare my feelings..but giving it to me straight.

Homer. my hope is for you to finally surrender. It appeared to me by starting this thread, you have been left to your recovery and resent it.

I actually believe you are no different than me. Getting to the other side seams impossible. It did for me too. But if I could do it, you can too. Thats all.

Mercedes1

Music, I just wanted to thank you as way back when..when i first came to this site over 3 years ago....it was YOUR no nonsense approach that helped me the most. I didn't listen...of course at the time....but eventually got it. You always gave me tools to help and for that I am greatful.

Music

Thanks Mercedes and I love you. Love you too Homer. I'll be glad when you love yourself enough to stop the pain. You deserve better.

IMHomerSimpson

right back atcha music,the more i read the replies here the more understanding Im getting of giving up vs. getting tired of repeating the same advice.Ive come to the reality of my situation,Im an alcoholic and only I can choose my destiny.I was talkin to my mechanic today,whos an alcoholic,and I asked him some questions about his withdrawal when he stopped drinking,long story made short after our 1 hour discussion he said Patrick,I watch you every day leave the liquour store with 2 six packs of Bud 16 oz.Kingers and what you said(in my words) "you are an alcoholic"! I remember one day he said to me as I left the store "I dont know whether to be jealous of you OR feel bad for you",that stayed in my mind since and I feel "bad for me" would be correct of the two.Music and other "tough" love approachers I hope u accept my apology for getting upset at your replies,I wasnt ready for that and jumped the gun as I usually do.Time to get back to keeping my mind and body active out in the yard.

IMHomerSimpson

oops,edited for double posting,my bad

Music

No need to apologize Homer. I used to get upset too when I thought people were being mean. What I didn't know was that they loved me enough to give a damn, and that's why they were tough on me. I show my gratitude to them by staying sober and passing along my experience. Just stop drinking long enough for it to become a good idea Homer. You can do it! You just gotta wanna!!

IMHomerSimpson

Yup,I wanna do it,i wont go into no long posts about how great life CAN be,im just gonna let it happen.peace

Tazman53

Homer please keep in mind that not drinking is a small step in the direction of staying sober, I have been right where you are at now to many times to count, staying busy only helps a little while, I found that I had to change things about me to stay sober, I had and still have a lot of problems I am working on, I am learning how to live as a sober person and not a drunk.

I am glad you have started down the path to sobriety, I just hope you do not continue to white knuckle it, white knuckling it kept me rolling from one relapse into another for 10 years.

Rella927

Homer, I too just stumbled across this post and I must say IMHO Debaucher and many others have said it so well - As one who lost a father to alcohol-a brother who is in jail, another brother who is not doing so well, and now dealing with XAB who actually has both emotionally and physically abused me.

I had my own issues adding to the destruction of our relationship-but I began to take control of myself a bit better and stopped drilling him of the drinking and anything and everything else-his lies etc...it did not stop-I tried to be there for him without the nagging just by trying to love him-when it started to hurt so much and I felt as if I was talking to a brick wall (which I actually met a brick ground because of him) and the pain was so deep I could not stand by and watch him do what my father did. I tried in so many ways to love him and support him....

The fact remains we can only do so much loving, caring and supporting to someone who is not going to even remotely attempt to change their own behavior and figure out what it is that is causing them to conceal the pain.That work needs to be done on your own. When we all try to reach out so much that we lose ourselves in the process that is a problem. To blame someone for your drinking well quite frankly and honestly that is just pure sad! No one puts the bottle to your mouth but you-

We leave because we need to find the reason we love someone so much that is not willing to love themselves or us and simply enjoy life the way it is meant to be enjoyed!

daisy_j

"Also waiting for psychotherapist to get back to me,dont know why all the psychs we called are too busy or never called back,makes me wonder if thier heart is in the right profession"

Oddly enough I can relate to that. I pretty much need to stay within the parameters of my health insurance for mental health care (very hard to get treated without ins. approval). I found only two on our referral page who were still in business. One said he would not treat me while I was still actively using. Another told me to get a pre-approval no. from my insurance and he would see me. I called him back with the number and that was three weeks ago, never have heard a peep from him. Follow up calls go unanswered. Very strange. How do mental health counselors specializing in addiction stay in business if they do not provide addiction counseling? LOL. Went to a new MD today and was honest about my drnking and he did not even blink an eye. Very strange world we live in with or without addicitions.

Sending good thoughts everyone's way...

GJ

IO Storm

Homer...

It does not matter what codies say to you................

Unless they are alcoholic themselves..or unless they are

your family and you are hurting them...

SR is not meant to be a springboard for others who don't

understand the physical craving and intolerable mental

obsession of the disease.....

From one who does know......

My gosh...I was a few short hours from killing myself last

year because I couldn't stand the thought of not EVER drinking

or using again...and had lost all......I was waiting for BF to bring

home the car so I could drive out to the country...didn't want

him or family to find me...cops were better.

That is how far down the scale I went.

Homer....God resued me that day.

I was rescued by utter grace.

We all come to sobriety in different ways.....

I strongly advise rehab with medical detox if you can get there.

But if you can do this without it....

You will definitely have a cheering squad here!

Just don't give up and hurt yourself...

Love,

:

Sherry

Sugah

Well, I'm not debating, just observing. Patrick has taken a lot of crap on this board, most of it in the spirit of love, and he keeps coming back. Does it matter how long it's taking? Maybe. Could kill him before he gets to the place we all pray he'll reach. That's a possibility for all of us.

Fact is, he keeps coming back. And if I had no desire to stop drinking, SR is the last place I'd want to hang out.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Mongo

Very true, Sugah.

Man, if I hadn't kept getting back up and trying again... I don't even like to think about it.

Ron

Mercedes1

....Truths, straight up facts, experience, strength, hope,warnings, helpful tips, direction......what is crap about that?

lanie67

Well stated. I don't have the history that other folks here have with this, so I'm fresh to it but Homer is helping keep me sober today.

I am confused about some of the things being said here (probably because like I said I don't have the history with this) but I went and reread chapter 7 just to kind of get centered on what's what.

http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/chapter_7.html

I know that many of the people the early AA'ers worked with were bed-ridden or institutionalized, and some of them had to be given alcohol in measured doses to keep them from dying from withdrawal.

Tazman53

This is from Chapter 7.

In reality we should have simply quit talking to him until he was ready to take action. AA is a program of action, 3 years of crying about how hard it is to quit is not action when every time some one suggested he take some action he always said it was to hard.

Right now it appears as though he is taking some action, he says he is going to see a doctor tomorrow, seeing the doctor is just a small step in what action is needed by an alcoholic to even begin to start recovery.

Another snippet from chapter 7.

Ten Chips Down

Hi,

Obviously haven't had the chance to read the whole thread, but just to speak my own perspective as a former rabid alcoholic:

I guarentee you that others caring more about us quitting will never help us to quit.

That's it. That's all; recovery is absolutely a do-it-yourself job Homer. Really man--I can't expect others to continue gushing attention my way if I never show lasting progress or serious intent.

That's my qualified .02.

Ten

mikel60

This has been a very compelling thread. What I must remember is that if I pick up, then IMHomerSimpson, too. Matter of fact, IMHomerSimpson anyway. We've all been down, and we're fighting to stay in the game. We are all the same. We're drunks. No more . No less. Hang in there Patrick, and get yourself some sobriety. You are worth it.