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i disagree with "letting them hit their bottom"....

Old 04-30-2007, 12:35 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Hey Homer
I havenāt given up on you either... But like Best I am generally saving my breath...you were clearly drunk when you wrote many of these posts...recovery is amazing and I think youāre worth it...one day when you believe you are worth it you will find it too.
Love
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x
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Old 04-30-2007, 12:37 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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I dont NEED anyones help,if I wanna quit I will do so,when Im ready,so dont make it sound like some of you are the good shepherds who tried but despite all your "hard" efforts you cant take the frustration no more so to hell with this cat that calls himself Homer.Man,I used to give my suggestions until I realized they were hypocritical so I stopped.As for being an attention seeker? you bet ya fanny I am,why else would I come back to be humiliated,hahhahahaa.See,in my life I spend lots of time being alone,by choice to a degree,and opt to sit at my PC and come here,not to be controversial but to let others see that they not alone,I can bet my postings have sobered some up and kept others sober that were walking on the edge.Im at a point in my life now where I want to be on the other side,I wanna remember today,I wanna just hop in my caddy and take a cruise around the town at ANY time without the worry of running over some kid that runs in front of me,I wanna go to my kids baseball games and sit in a relaxed mode rather than pray for rain so I can get back home to drink,I want so much AND yes I havent done much besides feed my depression by drinking rather than not.Give up on me then if so be it,I dont really care.I have a planwhich Ill explain soon in another topic so we stay on the right subject.
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Old 04-30-2007, 01:26 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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If we had it all figured out and if we never struggled, we wouldn't find ourselves here in the first place. I don't think sobriety is necessarily a requirement to post here but I do believe that the desire to be sober is (or at least, should be). I think those of us who haven't beaten this disease yet come here because we are lonely and looking for words of encouragement and advice from people who have been where we are at and lived to tell about it. Most times I prefer to read rather than post because I don't want people saying what some people are saying about Homer. But Homer it sounds to me like you are starting to hurt enough to try to make some changes. I understand exactly where you are right now.
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Old 04-30-2007, 06:27 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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I have not been here for three years, I suppose that if I were, I might feel differently. I have not had the benefit of a complete history when it comes to Homer.

I suppose I am just naive enough, floating around on my little pink cloud, to believe that maybe there is hope for him. After all, he is still breathing.

Hey, I spent 10+ years bouncing in and out of AA and you know what? I am sure that there were many who were sick and tired of me but no-one ever said so. All they ever said was welcome back and keep coming. I was, however, reaching out to AA as best I could at the time for help. I just wasn't able to keep the jug plugged.

Now I've got 5-1/2 months. for me that is a miracle.

I'll stop now before I get carried away.

Ted
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:39 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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From my own experience, I wouldn't do this stuff unless I was absolutely desperate enough to. No one could convince me, and so many people tried for so many years (of course that doesn't prevent me from trying with others who are like I was). I wish there was another way. People will die from this, and people will get wet brain. Of course, all that's necessary is to fulfill a few simple requirements. For a lot of years, when push came to shove, I would have rather drank. Want to hit bottom? Reach back there and give yourself a whack. THen work some steps.
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Old 05-01-2007, 03:50 AM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Hey Groucho, I really do not think any one is giving up hope for Homer, it is just knowing his track record right now he is not even close to being ready to take any action to help him self, this is why so many are blowing him off.

It says in the BB that if a man is not ready to help others who may be ready. When Homer is ready to take some sort of actions to help him self we will all be there, but right now there are people on this site that are willing to take some sort of action and those are the ones we should be helping, so far the only actions Homer has taken is sit on his pity pot. Hopefully he is serious about going to his doctor and starting to do something, we will see.
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Old 05-01-2007, 04:19 AM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SaTiT View Post
you don't have to hit rock bottom...
sometimes the bottom comes up and hit ya in the arss.

pain is good...
kind of like...lets not do the crap again.

just a reminder HS...alcohol is a depressent..if you drinking anymore of it,
it'll make you even more depressed then you already are. That's what keeps us in the cycle,
a spyro into the great abyss

Bascially we all suffer from depression when we first stopped drinking.

God, I just love reading your posts SaTIT. You say it like it is. Im a sister of an alcoholic and Homer dont take any of it personally. Everyone has a different opinion on every damn thing in life.
Just really take a good honest look inside your heart and ask yourself, what really has to happen to change anything?
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Old 05-01-2007, 07:33 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
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...."I can bet my postings have sobered some up and kept others sober that were walking on the edge....."

Im going to say something that may not be well recieved but this is the truth for my experience..i found this site roughly 3/4years ago. I had not been to AA yet but was starting to research my problem (drinking) on my own. Books. internet..sites like this.

In retrospect my opinions and assumptions were fairly dysfunctional...but they had their place as it is how I felt "then". When i found this site, at first, I thought it was good since I related to so many posts but to Homer's point he has helped some people...for me it was the opposite.

I was still drinking...looking for hope. Looking for SUCCESS I could believe in. Not emotional, chat room soap opera.

Homer wasn't the reason for my drinking but one of them for not coming back to this site for awhile. I remember your posts...whining, all over the place, pathetic. I found it depressing where you all pat him on the back (like you are doing now)...each and every time he fell and came back...on and on. Now, Homer, I am not trying to beat you up but just acknowledging how you came across to me (a newcomer who was at the time still drinking...) didn't help me in the least. I thought this was hopeless. And you confirmed this. This site was bascially an avenue for co-dependent people with serious issues beyond alchohol to gain comfort through rantings that did absolutely no help but get them recognized for a few minutes. I saw no growth, no tools to get better, no stability...just emotional high fives when a day or two was gained..and another high five when you fell. ...?? The result - nothing.

Anyway, it was only through time with much more drinking on my own and many more emotional bottoms for me to experience (if I had not had enough to begin with)..., I almost lost my faith in God (which I later discovered by confusing my limits to His)....I re-found my faith and gave my desire and willingness over to God.

Now, I can look /hear at new people and be strengthened to some degree of where I don't want to be again..however there is a fine line.

Just like with the steps..no one can get you through them but God and you, so is that next drink. But you have to admit you are powerless, believe in a power greater than YOU and OTHERS...other people cannot and will not (it is impossible) live your recovery for you....and give it to God. Your mind and your actions. How? Trust God, go to meetings for guidance (STRONGLY RECOMMEND) take suggestions, surround yourself with getting your butt out of your house (isolation for me was a large part of the problem). Trust me, this really is so simple and uncomfortable to do at first..but the meetings will eventually get you. Keep going. It will get better and you will find sobriety.

Now I am 4.5 months sober..still new but here to tell you Homer, seeking sympothy on the internet is not what you need. You will be here another 3/4 years if that is all you are after. You will realize drinking is a symptom...relationships, isolation, co-dependency, low self esteem, anger (jelousy of others that do get it) are all behind it but ALL CUREABLE. You have to believe that and want it. I don't know how to make it any clearer than that.

If you choose to read this drunk (again) your mouth back to me will not deter my sobriety in any way but will yours. I believe attitude, anger make your reasons for staying in your pit more desireable than sobriety. You see, what you think of me is none of my business.. and that attitude can eventually help you too if you choose to help yourself.

I belive Loving others is not an emotional ("never having to say your sorry" BS)...it is absolutely acknowledging your accountabilitty to God, a step in humility and acknowleding and taking ownership for your actions/behavior/mindset . In doing that you will find yourself (basically it is true, you find yourself by losing it...losing it to God)...that is all you have to do. It is that simple.

There are worse things to pains of sobriety,....the way you are living now is one. Face the good pain Homer and get off the pity party ride...as I said before...."there is no use to choosing to lie down when it is impossible to stand up..." It can get worse if you continue to do what you are doing. And....it can only get better if you choose to change.
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Old 05-01-2007, 07:55 AM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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BB. page 90 1st paragraph. specifically the 2nd sentence

When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This advice is given for his family also. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
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Old 05-01-2007, 08:33 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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If the person does not care enough about themselves to hear the message of caring, sometimes the only thing you can do is say "Sorry, but we are not with you anymore on this. Come back when you want to get sober."

Levi
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:17 PM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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hahhahaa,im just gonna laugh at ya heroes now,hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
ya deserve it,aww you dont wanna read about some fk'ups soap opera blog about
how he been fk'n up his health and life,what a fk'n pity!!!!!!!!!
hey,i have an idea,how bout putting my posts on ignore? duhh,what are ya stupid?
What? Did you transfer your addiction from booze to being the site critic?the hero?
Gimme a break,wait,NO dont give me nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have have had many,many people PM me saying thanks Homer,and they meant it!!!
BTW,its been 3 days since alcohol touched my lips so dont try pulling the he's drunk.
He's just pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now put me on ignore cuz I dont want the "experts" bringing me down,Ba-bye
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:28 PM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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no hero.

no alcohol.

just twelve steps.

and willingness.

good luck on your journey.
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:32 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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hi HS
ur posting and trying.
Detoxing is B....hangon2urarss..
at least it ain't boring.lol
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:47 PM
  # 74 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mercedes1 View Post
...."I can bet my postings have sobered some up and kept others sober that were walking on the edge....."

Im going to say something that may not be well recieved but this is the truth for my experience..i found this site roughly 3/4years ago. I had not been to AA yet but was starting to research my problem (drinking) on my own. Books. internet..sites like this.

In retrospect my opinions and assumptions were fairly dysfunctional...but they had their place as it is how I felt "then". When i found this site, at first, I thought it was good since I related to so many posts but to Homer's point he has helped some people...for me it was the opposite.

I was still drinking...looking for hope. Looking for SUCCESS I could believe in. Not emotional, chat room soap opera.

Homer wasn't the reason for my drinking but one of them for not coming back to this site for awhile. I remember your posts...whining, all over the place, pathetic. I found it depressing where you all pat him on the back (like you are doing now)...each and every time he fell and came back...on and on. Now, Homer, I am not trying to beat you up but just acknowledging how you came across to me (a newcomer who was at the time still drinking...) didn't help me in the least. I thought this was hopeless. And you confirmed this. This site was bascially an avenue for co-dependent people with serious issues beyond alchohol to gain comfort through rantings that did absolutely no help but get them recognized for a few minutes. I saw no growth, no tools to get better, no stability...just emotional high fives when a day or two was gained..and another high five when you fell. ...?? The result - nothing.

Anyway, it was only through time with much more drinking on my own and many more emotional bottoms for me to experience (if I had not had enough to begin with)..., I almost lost my faith in God (which I later discovered by confusing my limits to His)....I re-found my faith and gave my desire and willingness over to God.

Now, I can look /hear at new people and be strengthened to some degree of where I don't want to be again..however there is a fine line.

Just like with the steps..no one can get you through them but God and you, so is that next drink. But you have to admit you are powerless, believe in a power greater than YOU and OTHERS...other people cannot and will not (it is impossible) live your recovery for you....and give it to God. Your mind and your actions. How? Trust God, go to meetings for guidance (STRONGLY RECOMMEND) take suggestions, surround yourself with getting your butt out of your house (isolation for me was a large part of the problem). Trust me, this really is so simple and uncomfortable to do at first..but the meetings will eventually get you. Keep going. It will get better and you will find sobriety.

Now I am 4.5 months sober..still new but here to tell you Homer, seeking sympothy on the internet is not what you need. You will be here another 3/4 years if that is all you are after. You will realize drinking is a symptom...relationships, isolation, co-dependency, low self esteem, anger (jelousy of others that do get it) are all behind it but ALL CUREABLE. You have to believe that and want it. I don't know how to make it any clearer than that.

If you choose to read this drunk (again) your mouth back to me will not deter my sobriety in any way but will yours. I believe attitude, anger make your reasons for staying in your pit more desireable than sobriety. You see, what you think of me is none of my business.. and that attitude can eventually help you too if you choose to help yourself.

I belive Loving others is not an emotional ("never having to say your sorry" BS)...it is absolutely acknowledging your accountabilitty to God, a step in humility and acknowleding and taking ownership for your actions/behavior/mindset . In doing that you will find yourself (basically it is true, you find yourself by losing it...losing it to God)...that is all you have to do. It is that simple.

There are worse things to pains of sobriety,....the way you are living now is one. Face the good pain Homer and get off the pity party ride...as I said before...."there is no use to choosing to lie down when it is impossible to stand up..." It can get worse if you continue to do what you are doing. And....it can only get better if you choose to change.
I agree with a lot of this although I'm not an AA member myself.

Where I disagree is that there is a middle ground. Just because someones continuing struggles don't need a 'pat on the back' as you put it (I agree) neither do they need lofty, 'higher than thou', sermons either.

Just say nothing if a persons experience / story isn't helpful. Knocking a man when he's down is pretty low. I'm not saying pick the guy up and say you love him - just don't put the boot in.

Just my opinion of course.
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Old 05-01-2007, 03:13 PM
  # 75 (permalink)  
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When i found this site, at first, I thought it was good since I related to so many posts but to Homer's point he has helped some people...for me it was the opposite. I was still drinking...looking for hope. Looking for SUCCESS I could believe in. Not emotional, chat room soap opera
Mercedes
I think this place is for those trying to stop, as much as it is for those who have...if a particular poster annoyed me for any reason, I wouldn't read their posts. There's a lot more positive energy here than negative, IMO.
D
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Old 05-01-2007, 04:49 PM
  # 76 (permalink)  
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[QUOTE=leviathon;1313636]If the person does not care enough about themselves to hear the message of caring, sometimes the only thing you can do is say "Sorry, but we are not with you anymore on this. Come back when you want to get sober."

Levi[/QUOTE

"If you don't care, I can't care. However if you do care, I can't help but care."

"If you want to get well, I will walk to the gates of hell with you. But if you don't
want to get well, you'll have to go to hell by yourself, because I've been there
and don't intend to go back unless I have to."
-my first sponsor
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Old 05-01-2007, 05:33 PM
  # 77 (permalink)  
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Im out of this thread as of now,Im feeling its a downer for me and Ive had lived down long enough,sorry to have left my last message as rude but I'm confused as if I were drunk last couple days.Getting off alcohol and weed IS terrible,Im making the best of it and have an appt. with my Dr. Friday.Probably gonna go for a medication as Ive slipped soooooooo many times before,antabuse seems to be my best choice in my eyes but we will see what doc says.Also waiting for psychotherapist to get back to me,dont know why all the psychs we called are too busy or never called back,makes me wonder if thier heart is in the right profession.Maybe we should just lock this thread cuz pplz are having disagreements which makes me feel like crap cuz I started this thread.BTW,Im doing OK.Thanx
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Old 05-02-2007, 12:56 AM
  # 78 (permalink)  
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Gettin Sober................

Knocking a man when he's down is pretty low. I'm not saying pick the guy up and say you love him - just don't put the boot in.


Amen...GS

Amen.

Hang in there Homer.

Sherry
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Old 05-02-2007, 01:00 AM
  # 79 (permalink)  
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My thoughts are from a principal instilled in me as a child.....

reiterated in AA...

Christ said not to forgive seven times...

But seventy times seven....

There but for the grace of God go I.....

And I am grateful no one in the Program ever kicked me when

I relapsed 6 times....

Love,



Sherry
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Old 05-02-2007, 01:07 AM
  # 80 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by IO Storm View Post
My thoughts are from a principal instilled in me as a child.....
reiterated in AA...
Christ said not to forgive seven times...
But seventy times seven....
There but for the grace of God go I.....
And I am grateful no one in the Program ever kicked me when
I relapsed 6 times....
Love,
Sherry
maybe my personal experience is dictating my response...I'm still a newbie...I can still see myself a little over a month ago...or maybe I'm just a 'bleeding heart'...or maybe I know how hard *I* pushed that 70X7 thing...

but right on, Sherry, right on.
D
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