lilymae

hey everyone i know its been awhile since i last posted ive been so stressed lately the only thing keeping me sane is this great guy i met who lives out of state. my parents and i are constantly fighting . my sis is still trying to get custody of the girls even though she is moving into an area of town known for drugs and crime. we go to court on the 14th of may . my mom told me that if i move out of state and "abandon" the family i will be cut off money wise and wont get any help with college in less i go to one in texas. even after i turn 18 ill still have to ask permission for every g*dd**n thing i do . i barely get out of the f**king house as is but even less now because the decide to be c**ts and ban me from a few of my friends. im 17 but i feel like im 4. i never knew my parents were so f**kin judgemental but they judge people by wat they wear , listen to , look like , how they walk , and talk its the f**king wrong. theyll be lucky if i wait till im 18 to ****** leave this place. ive been so stress lately all i can think about is running away,getting drunk ,taking pills , cutting , or f**king hurting someone or something . i know it sounds like i need to go back to the institution but no i aint never f**kin goin back to that G*dd**n place ill go to jail first! i got a mind to runaway and not come back till im 18 when they cant do sh*t to me , cant tell me wat to do or who to f**kin see, listen i know itll be hard out there in the reall world but telling me i cant leave the motherf**kin state , threating me , givin me a guilt trip and tryin to limit where i can live out my dreams is f**cked up so if i have to ill support my damn self and ill make it on my own some how .


amanda

Dee74

Families are tricky things, hey, Amanda ?

I still think I was switched at birth, but thankfully these days we (me and the folks) seem to accept and tolerate each other's faults and failings and different points of view a lot more than we used to...I hope you get to at least that point soon...it can't be easy trying to deal with all that and staying strong too, but I admire you for doing that

peace
D

lilymae

im out im gettin a ride the **** outta here or somethin there is to much **** goin on i cant focus or even think straight screw it! i havent been sober at all the only time i was ever sober was those few months after rehab. besides drinkin keeps me from killing someone . im tired of this **** and im leaving and not coming back for a long while

Dee74

sorry lilymae,

I obviously grabbed the wrong end of the stick...forgive me and please accept my apologies.

D

lilymae

dee u had nothing to do with it today i was pushed over the top sry if it sounded like i was attacking u or wat not i just had one of the worst of my bad days today and dont feel like being at my house or in this state at the moment or ever again . im making plans to get out of here asap.

Dee74

it didn't sound as if you were specifically p'ed at me, but I wanted to make sure...
sorry today was so bad

D

TouchTheMirror

Wow, Amanda. I'm sorry you're having such a crappy time of it. It's obvious that you've got a lot of hate and anger inside.....be careful of that stuff. It always turns and attacks its owner, regardless of who it's aimed at right now. Hate's one of the most dangerous things and I hope you can somehow get rid of it; it's the key to your freedom. Running away won't shake it off your back.

Be good to yourself.

GlassPrisoner

Amanda, remeber this.

Wherever you go, you take you with you.

fokaione

hey amanda,

I wish you the best. I've been through this and i'm still going through it. Follow your dreams but at the same time understand your parents. Once you leave, you'll figure it out. I'm learning it the hard way now and now things just got worse for me in the past few days. I tell myself sometimes... If i would of listened to my parents i wouldn't of put myself through this or If i could talk to my parents now, i would feel relieved. They're your blood and sometimes we gotta remember all through families don't get along all the time.... in the long run "some" friends but mostly family (parents especially) will be there for you through hard times.

But once again, I wish you the best.

God bless.

parentrecovers

nice to see you back, amanda. blessings, k

GrouchoTheCat

I ran away when I was 16, hitch-hiked to Florida from Maine. I couldn't stand my parents, home ,etc. Dropped ot of high school too.

Spent a year or so washing dishes, worked at McDonalds, Burger king and the like.

Man, was I poor. After a while it really su*k*d. It really did.

Wound up going back home and then I joined the military.

Of course I almost messed that up with my drinking.

I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I already had either.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you well, and I hope you will be able to leave your anger behind.

Ted