My First Step!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
My First Step!!
I read my first step to my sponsor last night!!
It wasn't supposed to be my first step, but that's what it turned out to be. My sponsor gave me a writing assignment a week ago, so I started to write. It didn't make sense without a lot of background, so I kept writing, and writing, and writing. And feeling, and exploring feelings, and more feelings, and more feelings. Long story short . . . I ended up with a 10 page diatribe . . . and, it ended up being my first step. We both went into the "ugly" cry - at a busy, local coffee shop at 7:00 p.m. Oh so pretty!! (Yes, I chose the venue!) She listened to every word that I read, asked me to reread portions, and asked for clarification in a couple of places. She really LISTENED to every word and she was not shocked at my secrets; she did not judge me. I felt brittle when we left to go to the 8:00 AA meeting, but it too helped me.
Today, I feel relieved, serene, empowered. I have to read it again to my outpatient group, and feel that I'll be able to do so with greater strength and level of comfort.
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
It wasn't supposed to be my first step, but that's what it turned out to be. My sponsor gave me a writing assignment a week ago, so I started to write. It didn't make sense without a lot of background, so I kept writing, and writing, and writing. And feeling, and exploring feelings, and more feelings, and more feelings. Long story short . . . I ended up with a 10 page diatribe . . . and, it ended up being my first step. We both went into the "ugly" cry - at a busy, local coffee shop at 7:00 p.m. Oh so pretty!! (Yes, I chose the venue!) She listened to every word that I read, asked me to reread portions, and asked for clarification in a couple of places. She really LISTENED to every word and she was not shocked at my secrets; she did not judge me. I felt brittle when we left to go to the 8:00 AA meeting, but it too helped me.
Today, I feel relieved, serene, empowered. I have to read it again to my outpatient group, and feel that I'll be able to do so with greater strength and level of comfort.
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
good job, Tin - and you CAN do this! Cuz you're nt alone any more !!!!
(how fab is THAT)
I'm not familiar with a written first step - but who CARES???
You've got hope, you're accomplishing things for yourself ... way to GO!!!
and all without havng to drink ...
HP is the bomb, huh?
(how fab is THAT)
I'm not familiar with a written first step - but who CARES???
You've got hope, you're accomplishing things for yourself ... way to GO!!!
and all without havng to drink ...
HP is the bomb, huh?
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
One of my best if not the best sponsors I had, had me to write it
out..starting with my first drink at age 12. Hard and emotional
but what an eye opener, huh?
Way to go!!!
Love,
Sherry
out..starting with my first drink at age 12. Hard and emotional
but what an eye opener, huh?
Way to go!!!
Love,
Sherry
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Tin wow do you ever quit making me cry? I am a 53 year old man that looks like rust would run down my cheeks if I ever shed a tear and here I sit with watery eyes!
What a ride!!!! Don't you love it?
Tin your sponsor is taking you through the steps differently then mine did, but hey there are many ways to skin a cat, it sure sounds like it is working.
You express a common misconception of that dreaded 4th step, when you start to work the 4th step do your self a favor and every time you start to get in a funk read the 5th step and the promises after the 5th step. This will let you know where the 4th step is taking you. The promises after the 5th step:
You hear the promises read in meetings that follow the 9th step, they are powerful, but read the ones that follow the 5th! I can tell you when I finished my 5th step all of those promises came true!
Tin do not fear that 4th step, do not delay it, in the BB it says right after finishing our 3rd step:
Notice it says to start step 4 at once, do not delay hon, it is the beginning of the ending of the pain.
What a ride!!!! Don't you love it?
Tin your sponsor is taking you through the steps differently then mine did, but hey there are many ways to skin a cat, it sure sounds like it is working.
You express a common misconception of that dreaded 4th step, when you start to work the 4th step do your self a favor and every time you start to get in a funk read the 5th step and the promises after the 5th step. This will let you know where the 4th step is taking you. The promises after the 5th step:
Page 75 of the BB
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
® 1994 Serenity BBS
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
® 1994 Serenity BBS
Tin do not fear that 4th step, do not delay it, in the BB it says right after finishing our 3rd step:
Bottom of page 63 thru top of page 64
This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
® 1994 Serenity BBS
This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
® 1994 Serenity BBS
Last edited by Tazman53; 04-27-2007 at 03:17 AM.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by TINLIZZY 
Today, I feel relieved, serene, empowered. I have to read it again to my outpatient group, and feel that I'll be able to do so with greater strength and level of comfort.
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
Lizzy,
The cat's out of the bag now. Not clawing you from the inside.
Well Done!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
tinlizzy, good job, sweetie!!! what a huge accomplishment! you should be really proud of yourself.......i know i'm proud of you!
i'm so happy you are embracing your recovery, and doing what you need to do......and you have such a great attitude....
i'm so happy you are embracing your recovery, and doing what you need to do......and you have such a great attitude....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by TINLIZZY
Today, I feel relieved, serene, empowered. I have to read it again to my outpatient group, and feel that I'll be able to do so with greater strength and level of comfort.
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
What a ride . . . I'm feeling that I CAN do this!!
TinLizzy
Good for you Tinlizzy! Yes, you can do this!
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Quoting Golfman..........
"Lizzy,
The cat's out of the bag now. Not clawing you from the inside".
Now, that hit me between the yes...advice we all can use
when stressed and keeping it inside..........
Like Rusty says.....the first step up....is a doozy?
I think that's how it goes..
Love,
Sherry
"Lizzy,
The cat's out of the bag now. Not clawing you from the inside".
Now, that hit me between the yes...advice we all can use
when stressed and keeping it inside..........
Like Rusty says.....the first step up....is a doozy?
I think that's how it goes..
Love,
Sherry
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
hi tinlizzy,how are ya feeling? and how much time ya got now being alcohol free? As for myself? tomorrow 4 days,aint crap but something odd is happening to my career of drinking,i think im ending it,and what a sad and confusing feeling it is.Its all i ever knew,thats it,my life is being lived in a daze,i get my essentionals done but thats it,enuf about me,im glad ya finally making progress,ya friend Patrick
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Collinsmi -
I basically followed the instructions given to me in outpatient rehab. I wrote a short autobiography, mainly focusing on my drinking and the troubles it caused. Then answered questions about unmanagability and powerlessness. Believe it or not, the questions were the hardest to answer. It really cut to the quick!!
Patrick -
So happy for you. It will get better, I promise!! Congratulations on Day 4! I have 28 days today and couldn't feel better. I actually pick up a chip on Friday.
TinLizzy
I basically followed the instructions given to me in outpatient rehab. I wrote a short autobiography, mainly focusing on my drinking and the troubles it caused. Then answered questions about unmanagability and powerlessness. Believe it or not, the questions were the hardest to answer. It really cut to the quick!!
Patrick -
So happy for you. It will get better, I promise!! Congratulations on Day 4! I have 28 days today and couldn't feel better. I actually pick up a chip on Friday.
TinLizzy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
