Emimily

Title really says it all. My sponsor drank the other night, after 13 years of sobriety. Just goes to show that the time you have means nothing if you're not working your program... I talked to my sponsor sister about it, and she shared a lot of insight with me about what had happened, etc. The news was a bit of a heartbreaker, really.

But, the good news is she picked up a white chip and is going to meetings, and I still love her very much. I found a new sponsor at a meeting I went to last night, she and I are going to get up today and hit a meeting. One foot in front of the other, y'know?

I am so grateful that I have a program of recovery that lets me love others when they **** up. *sigh*

Anyone else had this happen? Besides Bill and Ebie, y'know? My mom said her first sponsor went nuts, literally... so yeah, anyone?

Tazman53

Some thing I am thankful I have not had happen yet, my sponsor told me to never hang your sobriety on your sponsor, he said sponsors have been known to drink again, they die, and they move, so it is important to always be looking for someone to sponsor me just in case he kicks the bucket, moves or decides he wants to go crazy again and start drinking again!

He has 18 years, but told me he is no different then me, one day at a time and one drink away from a drunk and one drunk away from possible death. One of the things I love about him is he is a realist and pulls no punches.

collinsmi

Not me. Sounds like you handled it the best possible way.

Golfman

EM,

You've handled this in the most appropriate way I know of. Brave to you!!!! I am so sorry she drank, but as you said, this is what happens when someone isn't working the program.

Keep us updated as to your sobriety, I love your positive attitude.

xxoo

Astro

Sounds to me like you've handled this perfectly, Em.

When I look at my sponsor I see someone that I selected to share their experience, strength, and hope with me, they had something I wanted. Never once have I looked at him as superhuman or someone who's not vulnerable to life in the same ways that I am. 5hit happens, this is a one day at a time deal.

I found out recently that my second sponsor was always on a marijuana maintenance program, something he never told me about. No big deal, I still look at that as my higher power leading me to the sponsor I have today.

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent had a
drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely grateful.

I often see and hear about others going
back out....just to test the waters and
see if its safe to drink again....and time
and time again ...i hear that it hasnt.

Alcoholism is cunning baffling and oh
so powerful and can strike at anyone
of us at any given time.

Each day I arm myself with the tools and
armour of AA and recovery to guide me,
strengthen me and protect me for what-
ever life has to throw at me.

I do have to say that its those that go back
out for me or instead of me to drink....that
makes me more grateful to be sober today.

Thanks for letting me share.

Peter

I admire your conviction. I have seen many become bewildered because their sponsor relapsed.You did the right thing by forging ahead with a new sponsor and I hope you will continue to have a long and happy sobriety.

miss communicat

Once my sponsor drank, but what was worse was that she had been in relapse mentally a long time prior to actually going out. Which means that she was not honest with me for almost a year, was possibly even drinking secretly all that time...

I almost quit my own sobriety because of the twisted rationalization of this disease, as I let my old sponsor who was a good friend, talk badly of AA etc.But, as I was just about to go out and buy some wine, I remembered how much I worked for my sobriety and that I never wanted to throw my life away again, so I took myself to a meeting and uped the meetings and did 90 in 90 again just to strengthen my resolve.


that was many years ago, and this former sponsor and former friend is still out there drinking, and I miss her, but I found that unless she was willing to put recovery first, we had to part company.

Emimily

Some really great sobriety here! Taz, Eddie... thanks, boyos. Y'all are fabulous. Did you hear me say y'all?! Haha.

I went to a women's step study with my new sponsor, it went very well. Tonight I'm supposed to get up with my friend and then my old sponsor, just to talk. I talked to my new sponsor about it, and I think the biggest question I have is how to talk to my old sponsor... I was telling J (new sponsor) about it, and she didn't know what to say either. Is there even anything to say? Any advice?

Thanks, sober family. Love y'all.

Tazman53

Hmmm I would just say what you are moved to say...... you know, let the HP take care of what you say and do not worry about it.

Emimily

Good advice... my mom would say "take a deep breath, and tell the truth."

Music

We all have clay feet don't we? The answer for me is an attitude of gratitude.

concolor1

I was newly sober and called him for a lift to a meeting. His wife--also in the program--told me what happened and said he'd moved out but not to let it affect my program . . .

I called somebody else the next morning about 2:00 a.m. because it was affecting me obviously . . .

But it didn't get me drunk . . .

I also recall when a particularly charismatic local "guru" (who doubled as a treatment pro) went out and I guess, ultimately wound up in treatment (I don't know the outcome on that one; my old sponsor eventually got sober).

I saw a number of grown men come to a men's stag meeting in tears over that one . . . The lesson I took from it was no matter how sober I got, I wasn't going to succumb to "guruitis" or start conducting "Authorities Anonymous" meetings . . . A few years ago I stole a prayer from another guy I admire: "Lord, please keep me small and useful."

It's a fatal disease, folks, and recovery means taking care of it and responsibility for it. I've survived infidelity, deaths in my immediate family and close friends, extended periods of unemployment, and every other demon I'm sure I thought would've got me drunk if I'd considered it in those first few months and years . . .

No, I didn't "look good" and act all smiley during those periods; I just hung on and didn't drink, and I often hung with people who weren't my favorites, but I recognized I needed them . . .

I've also learned to enjoy the good times, and there are a whole lot more of those these days as a result of hanging on . . .

Emimily

oh man! i love what you shared so much! i think i might have to steal that line from you... "lord, please keep me small and useful..."

thank you for sharing that experience with me, it says so much. i don't think i've even seen your posts yet, so this was a pretty wonderful way to make acquaintances.

chip

Emimily,
Thanks for sharing this thread with us. It's a reminder that "the same person will drink again", if constant vigilance isn't practiced. It's inspiring how well you have handled this situation, and I'm glad that you continue to move forward in your sobriety. I'm not sure what I would do if my sponsor drank again.

Our disease wants us dead, and it's un-natural for an alcoholic to be sober. Isn't is a wonderful miracle that we are sober today? This thread reminds me that we are all in the same boat.
chip

leviathon

That's a tuff break and I am sorry to hear of your former sponsor's suffering. It is a good reminder as you pointed out that sobriety requires our constant effort and cannot be taken for granted. This also reminds us that we need to be tolerant and understand and that we are all human and make mistakes. Finally, I think it also tells us that you are resilient and have a good group in that you were able to find a new sponsor and keep on going despite this set back.

Keep up the good work.

Peace, Levi