ohmichea

Hello to everyone. I have a few questions and a very long story. Thanks in advance to anyone that reads and answers!!

My boyfriend was a heavy drinker for quite a few years. He decided about a year after I met him that he wanted to quit drinking to feel better. He at that point did not think he was an alcoholic, he just thought he drank too much you know what i mean?

anyway... he lasted a little while, then found out his grandfather was sick with cancer. His grandfather was an alcoholic, and so before he was going to go the hospital there was a big party for him with all the family. And my boyfriend wanted to have a few beers with him "the last ones they would have together" so to speak. So he drank that night and a few times after that. His grandfather passed and around that time and the time leading up to it, my boyfriend was "on the verge of insanity" as he would say.

He complained of confusion, fatigue, not able to concentrate, rapid heartbeat at times, night sweats, crazy dreams, and the list goes on. So he thought he was losing his mind, and of course because of his grandfather we thought he must have some serious grief or something. We never once thought of the alcohol. So he still at this point didnt know what was wrong. So he goes to the doctor and they tell him he might have post traumatic stress of his grandfathers death and give him zoloft. And they also send him to a psychiatrist. So in my mind I am wondering what on earth is going on with him. All the dr's are saying its grief and that there must be triggers making him have the bad feelings....so he takes the meds but he is still having the same feelings, confusion, panic attacks etc. And we are trying to figure out what are the triggers reminding him of his grandfather and we got so bad as to not watch tv shows that we watched when his grandfather was sick just to rule it out as a trigger. It was a really rough terrible time.

So I am searching the internet like a madwoman for what else causes his symptoms because he was being really irraitable and crappy to me also. Now the search for this mystery has gone on for 2 years and then you know what I come across....................the symptoms for alcohol withdrawl....... they are exactly what he was having. And he had been drinking maybe once every couple months, just because he thought it would help him sleep or take the edge off his mystery illness.

So anyway we figured out that the times he had these bad episodes were the week or so after he had drank. I cant begin to tell you how excited we were to find this out! So that is where we are now.... we know it is alcohol and he will never drink again because of how he felt.

Now just a few questions...... Is that a severe reaction to alcohol or normal do you think?

And as far as being on antidepressants.....is that bad? He has been taking them about 10 months. He has a dr apt in 2 weeks to tell him about what he has found about the fact that it is alcohol, but he runs out of pills in about 2 days.

Also... last time he drank was about 2 months ago. he only had 3 or so beers so he didnt have a quite as bad reaction. But as time goes by with no drinking... will the body and mind fix itself, and will he feel better and better?


Thanks so much for reading and any advice or anything you can tell me about this would be appreciated!

RedFox

I had rapid a heartbeat at random times, never figured out why. Now I look back and think it was the alcohol. I was tired ALL the time, couldn't sleep because all I could think of was alcohol. Crazy dreams are what I've been going through recently since this last relapse and not being able to concentrate has been a huge one. So all those sound pretty normal to me.

Being on antidepressants is only bad if you're actively drinking while you're on them. I made that mistake for awhile. After the doctor is informed of the alcohol thing he may choose to keep him on the medication for awhile longer or might wean him off of it.

The body and mind will fix themselves to a point. It depends on how much damage has been done, but yes, they will repair themselves slowly. I sure have felt a hell of a lot better since I stopped drinking.

Hope this helps

GlassPrisoner

Yup, sounds like withdraw symptoms. I used to know them all too well. I was physically dependant on alcohol.

When he drank, was it "benders" (binges) ? One usually has to drink a lot or for a period of time (or both) to experience withdraw.

The good news is if he doesn't want to feel that way, all he has to do is abstain. Of course, if he's an alcoholic, that's easier said than done.

ohmichea

No he drank for years VERY heavily. Then just stopped abruptly and experienced the symptoms very badly. Then he would drink maybe 8 or 9 beers every couple months and go through the symptoms again, not as bad. He would get "whifs" as we would say. He is totally against drinking at all now that he knows why he felt that way. Thanks for your replies

Mongo

Hi Ohmichea. Welcome to SR.

It's good that your boyfriend is seeing a doctor. Has he told him of his alcohol issues?

I was also a heavy drinker for many years and suffered the initial withdawals. After abstaining for a while, and then relapsing, I still suffered the withdrawal, if fact, it got worse each time. Eventually, whenever I drank, even after some lengthy sober time, I suffered withdrawals.

This created a vicious cycle in which if I drank, I knew that withdrawals would follow, so I'd keep drinking. If I had a vacation from work, I would always be "sick" on the day I was due back. Monday mornings were fun(yeah right).

Ive talked to my doctor about it and agree that once the receptors get messed up in the chemical soup of our brains, it doesn't take much to knock them off kilter again. It's like a shoulder dislocation I once had, once it's happened once, it happens again easily.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best, and remember, there is always hope.

Ron

Tazman53

Omichea it sounds as though you all may have nailed it, when he first quit he had severe withdrawals?

When he drank afterwards he drank less and had mild withdrawals?

I would highly reccommend talking to a doctor about this, but I would think that he plan not to drink again is a VERY VERY good plan.

Make sure he lets the doctor know EVERYthing, the doctor may take him off the anti-depressants if not drinking clears up all of his problems.

parentrecovers

hello omichea, it's nice to meet you. i have a daughter trying to recover from alcohol and cocaine addiction, so i can relate to many of your concerns. i go to alanon, and it really helps me. if your boyfriend is willing to seek medical advice, that would be a good decision.

please remember this about your boyfriend's disease - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you cannot control it.

blessings, and keep posting! there's a friends and family board that you might also want to check out, if you haven't done so already. k

GrouchoTheCat

I would suggest that he calls his Doctor before he runs out of the meds. Some anti-depressants should not be stopped suddenly but should be tapered off. Ask the Doctor!

If he does much better without booze and is willing to stop, more power to him. Makes sense to me!

Ted

ohmichea

Thanks everyone.

Yardbird

One other suggestioin--on the heart flutters: I developed a condition called atrial fibrillation, quite common in elderly folk but not in people my age. I was a heavy drinker for years, then a once-or-twice-a-week binge drinker. There is no way to know for sure if this *caused* my heart condition, but there is a strong correlation between heart conditions such as atrial fib (or flutter--a less serious condition) and alcohol consumption. These disorders are sometimes called "holiday heart" since so many people drink heavily only on holidays and find that only then do they experience the problem. I was cured by surgery--and by quitting drinking.
Anyway, consider all that hearsay, but if your bf's rapid heartbeats reoccur (mine did during exercise before I was cured), he should definitely see a doctor--and probably should regardless. Most flutter conditions are more of a nuisance than anything else, but they can lead to serious problems.

iwillbeginagain

Yardbird, that's interesting. I have been sober a little over a week and when I went to the detox clinic here after just 2 days of sobriety he told me that I had a heartbeat unlike he had ever heard. He described it as 'irratic'. He told me to get an EKG. Then I went back to him a few days later, and he said it was normal. He said that it was probably due to the alcohol withdrawl. I was relieved, of course. Thanks for sharing that.

chip

Welcome to the forum, Yardbird.

Thanks for sharing the info on the heart flutters. For years, as I drank everyday and binged 2 or more times a week, I had irregular heartbeat. One of my withdrawal symptoms was chest pains as well.

All that stuff is cleared up now that I havn't drank since Sept 24, 2005.

Welcome to the forum, Ohmichea

Let me start by saying that I am an alcoholic. It's a miracle that I am sober. AA changed my life, and it has saved me from all the turmoil I cause with my drinking.

Yes, it sounds like your boyfriend is suffering from withdrawal symptoms. It's a good idea that he talk to his doctor about his alcohol consumption. It's also a VERY good idea to abstain from alcohol.

If your boyfriend is an alcoholic, he will need some sort of recovery program. A true alcoholic will always drink again, if left to his own devices. This condition is managable, but we need therapy to "fix" the problem. There will always come a time where a true alcoholic will have no mental defense against drinking again. That is why we need to work on our recovery. If we don't work on recovering, we will always slip back into our old patterns.

If your boyfriend is an alcoholic, you could probably use some sort of recovery program as well.

Alcoholism is hard on those who are close to us. Alcoholics often treat strangers as family, and family as strangers. The real victims of my drinking were my family. When I was sober for 1 year, I got a medal from my AA group. I believe it's my wife who deserves the medal ;-)

It's not easy living with an alcoholic who is drinking...or who has stopped drinking.

How are you holding out with all of this, Ohmichea? This has probably been very tough on you. I suggest that you check out the "friends and family of alcoholics" forum on SR. Also, Alanon is a good support group.

One more thing.....
As mentioned, it's important that you remember that this is his problem. Only he can fix his problem. You need to take care of yourself. My advice to you is to seek support for you. My advice to him is to go to AA.
Wishing you the best,
chip