First AA meeting coming up this Thursday.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Good morning Hazel!!! It is the dawn of a new day, and a new beginning for you. I am really looking forward to hearing about your first meeting.
I know when you leave that meeting you will either be laughing at your self for being so scared or kicking your self for having waited so long.
Do not forget to arrive a bit early and prepare to stay a bit late, I have a feeling you may wind up in a conversation or 2. Oh yea one more thing, ask some one what a temporary sponsor is.
I know when you leave that meeting you will either be laughing at your self for being so scared or kicking your self for having waited so long.
Do not forget to arrive a bit early and prepare to stay a bit late, I have a feeling you may wind up in a conversation or 2. Oh yea one more thing, ask some one what a temporary sponsor is.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i was just thinking about you also, hazel. it's thursday! yes, will be anxious to hear how it goes. i know when i started going to alanon, it took me a good handful of meetings to really get comfortable with speaking etc. but i learned a lot just listening that first few. good luck! k
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 30
Morning all (well, afternoon now!) 
The hard part's done and there's no geting out of it now ~ just booked the taxi to take me there and pick me up again. I leave at 6:30pm tonight (meeting is at 7:30pm) I should arrive roughly 15 mins early, and as far as I know, the meeting runs until 9pm. The taxi back is booked for 9:30pm, so that gives half an hour after the meeting. I know it sounds stupid, but I actually think booking the taxi was scarier than the meeting will be...I had to psyche myself up for about twenty minutes before I made the call, lmao! It's not gonna be cheap either ~ it's almost half my weeks wages just to get there...but then I remind myself that I'm better spending the money on something that'll help me, instead of something that'll kill me.
All in all, I'm feeling pretty positive about the whole thing Big thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement and kind words!!
I'll let you know how it goes.
-Hazel
The hard part's done and there's no geting out of it now ~ just booked the taxi to take me there and pick me up again. I leave at 6:30pm tonight (meeting is at 7:30pm) I should arrive roughly 15 mins early, and as far as I know, the meeting runs until 9pm. The taxi back is booked for 9:30pm, so that gives half an hour after the meeting. I know it sounds stupid, but I actually think booking the taxi was scarier than the meeting will be...I had to psyche myself up for about twenty minutes before I made the call, lmao! It's not gonna be cheap either ~ it's almost half my weeks wages just to get there...but then I remind myself that I'm better spending the money on something that'll help me, instead of something that'll kill me.
All in all, I'm feeling pretty positive about the whole thing
Big thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement and kind words!! I'll let you know how it goes.
-Hazel
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I can't believe the amount of $ it's going to cost for a taxi. Many would use that as an excuse not to go. Glad you're going to any lengths to get to that meeting, Hazel. Makes me grateful to have a car. Thanks for the reminder
Rowan
Rowan
Last edited by Rowan; 02-05-2008 at 08:05 AM.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Rowan 
I can't believe the amount of $ it's going to cost for a taxi. Many would use that as an excuse not to go. Glad you're going to any lengths to get to that meeting, Hazel. Makes me grateful to have a car. Thanks for the reminder
Rowan
Rowan
It's probably not as bad as it sounds, Rowan ~ I don't get paid that much, so my weeks wages may only be tuppance to some. No worries, though.
As far as I know, you don't get a free hangover with a meeting....and if the money wasn't going toward that, it'd be going on the booze. For a good few months, I DID use "I don't have a car" as an excuse NOT to go, but my (online) sponsor reminded me of exactly what you just said ~ going to any legnths. At first, it was just something I said; "oh yeah, I'm willing" but now I know that if I wanna get sober, I actually have to MEAN it and DO it.
I'm hoping that, over time, I'll be able to grab a lift with someone who perhaps is near me ~ I'm in such a remote location that that might prove impossible, but still, I'm hopeful. I'll tell ya what really p***ed me off today, though ~ I looked up the nearest meeting to where I lived two years ago ~ just out of curiosity. There's TWO within two minutes WALK, every single day. How I wish I'd become willing back then!
I really don't think I would be doing this if it weren't for your support, guys. Really. Thank you all.
-Hazel
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Originally Posted by Hazel
I'll tell ya what really p***ed me off today, though ~ I looked up the nearest meeting to where I lived two years ago ~ just out of curiosity. There's TWO within two minutes WALK, every single day. How I wish I'd become willing back then!
-Hazel
-Hazel
Hopefully you'll hook up with someone who lives out your way and can give you a ride home now and again. I used to struggle with feeling like I had to drive all over town to pick people up to get them to a meeting, but my sponsor said 'tell them to get themselves there (walk, bus etc) and you'll make sure they get a ride home'. I was enabling people for a time, and it wasn't fair to them - they really needed to be given the opportunity to work for it, get themselves there at least. I love giving people rides home - just makes me feel good.
Your post has really helped me too, you know. It's reminded me of what it was like when I first came in, and how much I have to be grateful for. So, thanks!!
Rowan
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Rowan
I was enabling people for a time, and it wasn't fair to them - they really needed to be given the opportunity to work for it, get themselves there at least.
I'm running with a thought there, so I'm gonna stop...I haven't even been yet, so I'll save the "if's" and "buts" for another Christmas.
Thanks Rowan.
-Hazel
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Hazel trust me you will be helping some one else stay sober if they offer a ride to you either to or from the meeting. I live in an area where no taxis service certain areas and have given rides both ways to folks without license or a car.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 30
One Down....and I want more, lol!
Oh wow, you guys ~ the meeting was fantastic!
I arrived earlier than I’d even meant to ~ had half an hour to kill when I got there so I made sure I had the right place and hung around outside for a little while. The first person I met was the chair of the meeting who introduced herself and congratulated me on making it for the first time. More folk arrived and she introduced me to everyone and explained to them all that I was there for my first meeting. That made it so much easier than I thought it would be, because everyone knew my name and that I was new before the meeting even started. There was another newcomer who arrived late and had to sneak in quietly ~ I’m so glad I arrived early! I would have felt very uneasy walking into a meeting that had already started.
I was nervous as hell and shaking like a leaf, but I was lead inside and asked to take a seat (they were all laid out in a circle with a coffee table in the middle and candles ~ it was a candlelit meeting which was just so lovely in itself!) All in all, it was pretty small ~ only 10-15 people, which I was also glad about. As I took a seat, I was handed a cup of coffee by another woman who then sat down next to me. I looked up and this HUUUUGE guy was stood there smiling. I’m not kidding, the guy was enormous! I felt so small with him towering over me lol! He asked my name again, shook my hand, said welcome and asked how old I was because I looked (and was) the youngest there. I told him 21, and he immediately began to relate to me. He was speaking so loudly and energetically that I almost laughed ~ I have no idea why. I guess I’m just not used to being so open with other people or something. I started to think he was making me a little uncomfortable but from the very start, I knew we had things in common so I stuck with it. He explained that he first came into the rooms at my age, but left again because he didn’t listen to what was being said. He came back to AA at 23 and has stayed ever since. He advised that I listen to what would be said that night and look for the similarities, rather than differences.
I later found out that the very same guy had been asked to provide the main share for that evening, in which he told us all of where he was when he found AA ~ how he’d been drinking, how it had affected his life and what happened to him. It was painful to listen to, but only because I felt he was telling my story for me. It was literally like looking into a mirror. And that’s when I knew this was the right place for me ~ for the first time, I had a feeling of belonging somewhere, and I couldn’t have asked for more than to share it with people who actually understand. The guy then went on to explain how much his life had improved since he came to AA ~ he had no education before, but now he has a degree. Nobody trusted him, but now he is trusted to look after money/keys etc for work. He gives AA talks in prisons every week. The list goes on ~ the enthusiasm he had was inspiring! To listen to the way he spoke, not just what he said, you could have thought he was fairly new, but nope ~ he recently celebrated 30 years of sobriety. And that was enough to make me listen to what he had to say ~ after all, whatever he was doing, it’s worked for thirty years. In short, everything he lost through drinking, he gained back again through AA and staying sober one day at a time. From that moment on, I felt that the meeting was completely directed at me. Whether it actually was, or not, I have no idea ~ it may have been that I could just relate so well to what was being said. The openness and honesty of everyone was a bit of a shock to the system at first. I was taken aback, but got used to it. Everyone welcomed me again before sharing and they looked at me while they spoke. When it came to my turn, I shared just a little ~ basically saying thank you to the group and that everyone had said at least one thing that I could relate to. (In hindsight, I actually forgot to say the “I’m an alcoholic” bit before speaking ~ it seemed pretty much a given anyway and I hadn’t even realised I didn’t say it until the meeting was over).
By the end of the meeting, I was so comfortable being there. Everyone had commented that it had been a wonderful meeting and that they hoped I’d come back again etc. I saw a familiar face there, too ~ a guy I drank with about two years ago. We caught up a little, which was nice, but it was a bit weird (though not surprising) to see him there in the first place. After the meeting, I hung around for a while and spoke to most of the group, where I received yet more “well done’”s for getting there in the first place. My age seemed to be a big thing too ~ many people said that they should have come to AA sooner than they did. Nobody ever said “you’re too young to have a drinking problem” which is what I’d thought in my mind for so many years, but they DID say “you’re too young to throw your life away…and it’s a wonderful life to live, if you keep coming back”. I took away phone numbers from people who said to call/text any time ~ I’ve spoken to one woman this morning already because I heard last night that she was celebrating two years sober today. She told me that she’d spoken to a man who lives in the same town as me ~ he’s given his number to pass on to me so that he could give me lifts to meetings if I can’t make it to them on my own!! How great is that?!
When I got home, my head was still buzzing and I had a thought that I could never, ever share what these folks did, face to face, with other people. What courage they all had!! BUT six months ago, I thought I could never ever have the courage to walk into a meeting. I did that last night, and now I am so very glad, and grateful, that I did. For the first time I my life, I feel proud of achieving something ~ and that’s what I saw so much of last night; achievement.
Thanks everyone for being there with support and kind words,
I wish you all the happiness that I'm feelin' right now!
-Hazel
I arrived earlier than I’d even meant to ~ had half an hour to kill when I got there so I made sure I had the right place and hung around outside for a little while. The first person I met was the chair of the meeting who introduced herself and congratulated me on making it for the first time. More folk arrived and she introduced me to everyone and explained to them all that I was there for my first meeting. That made it so much easier than I thought it would be, because everyone knew my name and that I was new before the meeting even started. There was another newcomer who arrived late and had to sneak in quietly ~ I’m so glad I arrived early! I would have felt very uneasy walking into a meeting that had already started.
I was nervous as hell and shaking like a leaf, but I was lead inside and asked to take a seat (they were all laid out in a circle with a coffee table in the middle and candles ~ it was a candlelit meeting which was just so lovely in itself!) All in all, it was pretty small ~ only 10-15 people, which I was also glad about. As I took a seat, I was handed a cup of coffee by another woman who then sat down next to me. I looked up and this HUUUUGE guy was stood there smiling. I’m not kidding, the guy was enormous! I felt so small with him towering over me lol! He asked my name again, shook my hand, said welcome and asked how old I was because I looked (and was) the youngest there. I told him 21, and he immediately began to relate to me. He was speaking so loudly and energetically that I almost laughed ~ I have no idea why. I guess I’m just not used to being so open with other people or something. I started to think he was making me a little uncomfortable but from the very start, I knew we had things in common so I stuck with it. He explained that he first came into the rooms at my age, but left again because he didn’t listen to what was being said. He came back to AA at 23 and has stayed ever since. He advised that I listen to what would be said that night and look for the similarities, rather than differences.
I later found out that the very same guy had been asked to provide the main share for that evening, in which he told us all of where he was when he found AA ~ how he’d been drinking, how it had affected his life and what happened to him. It was painful to listen to, but only because I felt he was telling my story for me. It was literally like looking into a mirror. And that’s when I knew this was the right place for me ~ for the first time, I had a feeling of belonging somewhere, and I couldn’t have asked for more than to share it with people who actually understand. The guy then went on to explain how much his life had improved since he came to AA ~ he had no education before, but now he has a degree. Nobody trusted him, but now he is trusted to look after money/keys etc for work. He gives AA talks in prisons every week. The list goes on ~ the enthusiasm he had was inspiring! To listen to the way he spoke, not just what he said, you could have thought he was fairly new, but nope ~ he recently celebrated 30 years of sobriety. And that was enough to make me listen to what he had to say ~ after all, whatever he was doing, it’s worked for thirty years. In short, everything he lost through drinking, he gained back again through AA and staying sober one day at a time. From that moment on, I felt that the meeting was completely directed at me. Whether it actually was, or not, I have no idea ~ it may have been that I could just relate so well to what was being said. The openness and honesty of everyone was a bit of a shock to the system at first. I was taken aback, but got used to it. Everyone welcomed me again before sharing and they looked at me while they spoke. When it came to my turn, I shared just a little ~ basically saying thank you to the group and that everyone had said at least one thing that I could relate to. (In hindsight, I actually forgot to say the “I’m an alcoholic” bit before speaking ~ it seemed pretty much a given anyway and I hadn’t even realised I didn’t say it until the meeting was over).
By the end of the meeting, I was so comfortable being there. Everyone had commented that it had been a wonderful meeting and that they hoped I’d come back again etc. I saw a familiar face there, too ~ a guy I drank with about two years ago. We caught up a little, which was nice, but it was a bit weird (though not surprising) to see him there in the first place. After the meeting, I hung around for a while and spoke to most of the group, where I received yet more “well done’”s for getting there in the first place. My age seemed to be a big thing too ~ many people said that they should have come to AA sooner than they did. Nobody ever said “you’re too young to have a drinking problem” which is what I’d thought in my mind for so many years, but they DID say “you’re too young to throw your life away…and it’s a wonderful life to live, if you keep coming back”. I took away phone numbers from people who said to call/text any time ~ I’ve spoken to one woman this morning already because I heard last night that she was celebrating two years sober today. She told me that she’d spoken to a man who lives in the same town as me ~ he’s given his number to pass on to me so that he could give me lifts to meetings if I can’t make it to them on my own!! How great is that?!
When I got home, my head was still buzzing and I had a thought that I could never, ever share what these folks did, face to face, with other people. What courage they all had!! BUT six months ago, I thought I could never ever have the courage to walk into a meeting. I did that last night, and now I am so very glad, and grateful, that I did. For the first time I my life, I feel proud of achieving something ~ and that’s what I saw so much of last night; achievement.
Thanks everyone for being there with support and kind words,
I wish you all the happiness that I'm feelin' right now!
-Hazel
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 76
Hazel,
That is the most wonderful story. I am so glad you shared your experience with us. It brought tears to my eyes.
Best wishes to your in journey into a life of sobriety. There is no better place to be.
Love ya,
Carol
That is the most wonderful story. I am so glad you shared your experience with us. It brought tears to my eyes.
Best wishes to your in journey into a life of sobriety. There is no better place to be.
Love ya,
Carol
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Hazel -
I'm crying and crying!!! I'm sooo happy for you. I almost (not quite) feel like a cult memeber - I believe that you have seen the light!!!
Use the phone numbers that you were given. I made the mistake of not using them at first. When someone gives you their number, they expect a return call. Also, going back to the same meeting several times will let the other members know that you are serious about your sobriety and it will open more doors to friendship, fellowship, and support.
And last, if you have a problem, share, share, share. I was struggling yesterday - I told my sponsor, I told my husband, and then I shared at a noon meeting. I know there is a saying - a problem shared is one cut in half or something of that nature - well it's true. Just getting it off my chest helped tremendously. What was best was the response and support I got back!
I couldn't be happier for you!!
TinLizzy
I'm crying and crying!!! I'm sooo happy for you. I almost (not quite) feel like a cult memeber - I believe that you have seen the light!!!
Use the phone numbers that you were given. I made the mistake of not using them at first. When someone gives you their number, they expect a return call. Also, going back to the same meeting several times will let the other members know that you are serious about your sobriety and it will open more doors to friendship, fellowship, and support.
And last, if you have a problem, share, share, share. I was struggling yesterday - I told my sponsor, I told my husband, and then I shared at a noon meeting. I know there is a saying - a problem shared is one cut in half or something of that nature - well it's true. Just getting it off my chest helped tremendously. What was best was the response and support I got back!
I couldn't be happier for you!!
TinLizzy
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