Ya know you're a drunk when.....
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Ya know you're a drunk when.....
I recently bumped into a woman I hadn't seen since high school. We'd been locker partners back then but had lost touch. At any rate, her and I went out last night. We ended up at pub. She wanted a glass of wine and a bite to eat. She ordered her wine and I a club soda w/ lime. We had a fabulous conversation barely touching the appie we ordered cuz we yapped so much. At any rate, I had a second club soda and she ordered a second glass of wine.
It was getting late and I noticed she had barely touched her second glass of wine. I was tired and ready to go home. I kept eyeing the level of her wine cuz I figured we wouldn't be leaving until she finished it. I was tired and this glass was basically full.
Suddenly she said she was fading fast..time to go. OKAY now..all you former drunks out there gotta relate. I couldn't believe she was leaving a basically full drink! That NEVER happened in my drinking career. Preposterous! Unheard of! Holy cow! What a waste!
LOL...Ya know you're a drunk when.......
It was getting late and I noticed she had barely touched her second glass of wine. I was tired and ready to go home. I kept eyeing the level of her wine cuz I figured we wouldn't be leaving until she finished it. I was tired and this glass was basically full.
Suddenly she said she was fading fast..time to go. OKAY now..all you former drunks out there gotta relate. I couldn't believe she was leaving a basically full drink! That NEVER happened in my drinking career. Preposterous! Unheard of! Holy cow! What a waste!
LOL...Ya know you're a drunk when.......
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
When the case of beer left over from a party back 5 months ago is still sitting out on the deck through the winter storms and the daily sun because your not sure of how to dispose of it.
Give it away? -enable another?
Throw it away? - Would kids find it in the trash by the roadside?
BB gun would do nice but it is broken.
....
the list goes on.
Give it away? -enable another?
Throw it away? - Would kids find it in the trash by the roadside?
BB gun would do nice but it is broken.
....
the list goes on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Backwoods America
Posts: 77
I can soooooooo relate..I joined this site Tuesday--made it thru the day, however didnt tell anyone I had a 30 pack iced down..Relapsed Wed..Had a tornado that as good as it gets--finished the 30 pack-------Back on the road with 3 days counting and no booze in the house...
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
LOL..too drunk to fish. That's rich. Yep, I hate that question Golfman...or do you remember calling me last night? Do you remember talking to me at the bar? Do you remember giving me your phone number? Been to all that liquor induced amnesia too.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I know when I had too much to drink because ...
on my way home sometime after 12 midnight my
front wheel hit a 2 ft. notch cut out in the road
and i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground.
I was transported to the hospital via the EMS truck
in which i dont even remember the ride.
Then i ended up in the hospital for 10 day with
them removing my punctured spleen so i wouldn't
bleed to death, then a second surgury to remove
fluid in one of my lungs...
I had numerous contusions broken ribs , bones....
And skin ripped from my forhead and chin were also
sewn back on....
MAN WAS I A MESS...
Still today i havant a clue as to know what caused
me to run off the road....
Was it blinding on coming car lights or did i black
out or was the construction not properly marked off
for me....hmmmm....
on my way home sometime after 12 midnight my
front wheel hit a 2 ft. notch cut out in the road
and i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground.
I was transported to the hospital via the EMS truck
in which i dont even remember the ride.
Then i ended up in the hospital for 10 day with
them removing my punctured spleen so i wouldn't
bleed to death, then a second surgury to remove
fluid in one of my lungs...
I had numerous contusions broken ribs , bones....
And skin ripped from my forhead and chin were also
sewn back on....
MAN WAS I A MESS...
Still today i havant a clue as to know what caused
me to run off the road....
Was it blinding on coming car lights or did i black
out or was the construction not properly marked off
for me....hmmmm....
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i grew up in a brewery town, (stag beer, yuck!) so a lot of folks there were pretty much weaned on beer. when they started to phase out/close the brewery, they kept the big tower with the neon "stag" sign lit up (not sure why).
anyway, the old brewery was the place where they held aa/alanon meetings (appropriate, i suppose) and i attended alanon there.
the joke was if you want to find all the town drunks, just follow the stag sign.
k
anyway, the old brewery was the place where they held aa/alanon meetings (appropriate, i suppose) and i attended alanon there.
the joke was if you want to find all the town drunks, just follow the stag sign.
k
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
When you stop a block from the office after work, open the trunk and take a swig of warm Vodka to stop the shakes and settle your stomach. It, of course, comes right back up on you. After 3-5 minutes of retching, you say to yourself "Well, at least that's over with....Now I can drink"
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Waking up hitting a gaurd rail at 75 mph! Spending 10-15 minutes trying to just get into your truck to drive home. Not being able to find the courage to pick up dead ones out of the garage until you have been sober for 4 months. Cleaning out the tool box on your truck and throwing away live and dead ones. Finding dead ones in the flower beds.
I have never left one I opened unfinished, if I am going to kill myself I will do it properly. Or I will throw it away unopened.
I have never left one I opened unfinished, if I am going to kill myself I will do it properly. Or I will throw it away unopened.
Sober and Free
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: bay area CA
Posts: 398
-When I wake up groggy, because I am over tired. I roll to my side expecting the sudden wave of nausea, and the realization of either what I did late night or the realzation of a blackout ... only to remember I am sober and don't have to go through that every morning. (though almost everymorning I forget, so old is that deerned pattern!)
-when someone asks me if I remember something and I can't recall it right away I panic ... until I remember I don't drink anymore and no longer have to fake my way through black outs.
-When I spin in the backyard with the kids, and stop to find the world still spinning, and remember that ALL to well (I so though I was going to narf!)
When I was drinking ... well this is an obvious one.
2 country songs were constantly said to me, sung to me, pointed out to me, and labeled 'my songs'.
-Tequila makes her cloths come off
-1 round with Jose Quevro
Hurmph!!
-when someone asks me if I remember something and I can't recall it right away I panic ... until I remember I don't drink anymore and no longer have to fake my way through black outs.
-When I spin in the backyard with the kids, and stop to find the world still spinning, and remember that ALL to well (I so though I was going to narf!)
When I was drinking ... well this is an obvious one.
2 country songs were constantly said to me, sung to me, pointed out to me, and labeled 'my songs'.
-Tequila makes her cloths come off
-1 round with Jose Quevro
Hurmph!!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Geez..I cleaned my car this past weekend and found two old vodka cooler bottles and an empty Coors Lite can under my seat. Sadly (and scarily), I couldn't drive any distance without a few "road pop".
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: virginia beach, va
Posts: 1
ya know you're a drunk when
here's mine.
What looks like an ice cube is actually a piece of broken glass
that sank to the bottom of your Seven and Seven.
Before asking the bartender for a replacement,
do you carefully have another swig of the booze?
I sure would, and did! (insanity, anyone?)
What looks like an ice cube is actually a piece of broken glass
that sank to the bottom of your Seven and Seven.
Before asking the bartender for a replacement,
do you carefully have another swig of the booze?
I sure would, and did! (insanity, anyone?)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 290
Sorry to those who have heard me mention this one...
#1 Pirate driving... where you cover one eye so you can tell which double yellow line is the one to stay right of...
#2 The fact you made up a name for your method of drunk driving...
#1 Pirate driving... where you cover one eye so you can tell which double yellow line is the one to stay right of...
#2 The fact you made up a name for your method of drunk driving...
Serenity today
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Commonwealth
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by h4lov909 
HOW ABOUT...........filling the jack bottle with apple juice or the vodka bottle with water....until getting the liquer to replace it DUHHHHHHHH
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