Paulos

I've been cutting back my drinking majorly, and I mean MAJORLY. For the past 2 weeks I had only gotten bombed once, had about 6 cigerettes overall in the past 2 weeks, and had like a beer a few nights ago, though it doesn't count great compared to my usual of being bombed every night I've improved. Trying to live life without the life of booze, and I really am convinced that alcohol/nicotine is killing my passion for life and giving me memory problems and a speech impairment lol, swear to god.

Other than that, I'm also on a new drug, went to a shrink, got lots of info, no more Zoloft thank god, been off that a bit now... been happier and more productive, got a lot to go but I'm still always worried about my weight and my life living alone someday and driving because all I'm not normal, I have... some issues that prevent me from being "normal" and doing usual things.

Just saying I'm finally improving in a better way, took me long enough, almost 2 years of my life wasted on booze, what a wreck.

Sugah

What is "normal?" I don't know. I do know that what was normal for me while drinking (even the occassional binge........way back when I could get by with the occassional binge) and what's normal for me sober are two different things. I think you'll find the same, as well as a new definition for "the usual things." There are things at the top of my list of usuals today that would never have never made the rareties list, let alone be sometimes taken for granted.

And you don't really have to consider the two years drinking as "wasted time" (unless, of course, you're speaking in a literal sense) if you tell yourself it was research into what isn't working for you. Once you know that, you can cross it off the list of ways to deal with life, right?

Most of the folks who'll probably hop on this thread later will tell you (or have already told you) that they've (we've) found total abstinence easier to maintain than moderation. There are a few exceptions, but if you're alcoholic, control is probably not an option...for long, anyway.

Good luck.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Tazman53

Paulos as an alcoholic I can tell you that you have not even started to stratch the surface of sobriety yet, it takes at least 3 days to a week just to get all of the alcohol out of your system, then it can take 3 months to over a year before the chemicals in your brain regain their balance.

You remind me of myself, for over 10 years I was the MAN!!!! I could quit drinking and stay quit all by myself!

Remember the other threads you started here where you said that if you did not stay sober this time you were going to get some help?

Well you are in the same boat I was in for 10 years, are you going to do something different this time?

What kind of help are you going to get?

Re-hab?

AA?

Some other program?

Please do your self a favor and go back and reread your prior threads you started where you said you were better then the rest of us and you would stop on your own will power and if you could not you would get help.

Paulos you are 21, you have a possibility of having many years of sobreity, all you need to do is look at your past attempts at trying to quit, there is nothing unmanly about asking for help.

If you were working on a car and it feel off the jacks onto you and you were pinned under the car would you ask for help?

If you are an alcoholic like I am, then you will know that I was under the crushing weight of alcoholism and the only way I found out was to get help.

Paulos you keep saying you do not like what alcohol does to your passion for life!

My friend alcohol, grass, and other types of drugs all crush your passion for life! I bet you have friends that are heads, burnt out on grass.

recovery4me

paulos gr8t to here your doing well mate i think i have simalar issues i carnt drive on motorways any more have panick attacks and bad anxiety dont like going really far from home yes all the normal stuff turns into a nightmare but yes its the booze mate but its not so easy 2 just stop well i am finding it hard any way lets just keep pushing on

Tazman53

Paulos you know you may find staying off of the booze easier if you started smoking again, from what you have said, you are drinking a lot more now then you are smoking now.

Try tackling one thing at a time, that is what the proffesionals told me when I quit drinking almost 7 months ago. The smoking will come next for me.

GrouchoTheCat

Paulos,

I don't really know what to say except to offer encoragement in your struggles to become free of the bondage of alcohol.

Just remember that booze is a lousy two faced liar and will continue to steal you blind while it clouds your mind like a jedi mind trick, and will convince you that all is well when in reality things are a terrible mess.

Yoy are fighting a valient and noble war with alcohol and I truly hope that you will prevail. You have already won some battles and you can surely win the war.

Ted

Paulos

Thank you all, I understand Taz but I told you I'm not into AA/Rehab, but I'm at a shrink now, with new medication and actually I CANNOT drink/smoke with it so it's going to work out at last. Just hope my brain recovers, I feel so... ******** -.-

Rowan

Hi Paulos,

I was on anti-d's and anti-psychotics once upon a time, and was told NO ALCOHOL - but I did anyway.
You CAN recover - but you've got to be willing to go to any lengths. I really do understand that you are struggling, but sometimes we've got to stretch beyond what is comfortable for us and try something new.
Why are you not 'into' AA? Does it frighten you, repel you, or something completely different? And I understand that AA isn't for everyone, I really do. It's just that when what we are doing on our own isn't working, it might be time to look around and say, 'Okay this isn't working, so maybe I need to try something else'.
This post was not intended to offend - and I hope it hasn't - I just wanted to share my own experience, strength, and hope - and because I care.

Rowan

Paulos

It repels me, I can't stand to feel imprisoned in a facility for more than a few hours.

Rowan

Great news then, because AA meetings only last an hour!

Tazman53

Paulos I was just like you for 10 years, no way in hell I was going to go to detox and I damn sure was not going to AA!!!! All those dudes are losers!!!

Well after 40 years of drinking, the last 10 years spent trying to quit "MY WAY" I finally got smart and put myself into detox and then straight into AA.

Well today is my 206th day straight with out a drink, a joint, or any other drug and I have not had a single relapse!

Oh yea in AA I found out that they are a bunch of losers!!! They lost the urge/need to drink or drug by working the program!

You say you don't want to go to AA, why?

You don't like having sober friends?

You don't want to be around people who understand you?

You don't want to be around people who are like you?

You don't want to be around people who want to help you?

You don't want to have fun and laugh?

Please tell me why you do not want to go to AA or another program?

After you tell me that then ask your self is that my alcoholism/drug addiction talking or is that me?
Would you rather remain imprisoned by alcohol and drugs?