lilymae

its been about a week since i posted ive been on just havent had the energy or courage to post also had nothing to say really i suppose. its been on of those weeks , i found out last night that my dogs canned food has been recalled and that i had fed her oh 7 or 8 cans of the recalled food cuz i give her two cans a day.the fighting with my dad hasnt gotten any better in fact it got worse i planned to runaway this weekend but he found out from my spy of a sister. ive been sick with something i have no clue wat its just annoying not keeping me from anything just knocks me down sumtimes. and my dad thinks im faking it. my family is drifting farther and farther apart i mean easter used to be all about family not just intimate family im talking aunts uncles cousins greats aunts &uncles ....everyone i remember like the day before easter we would go to my my grandparents house on my dads side we call it the yellow house or the big yellow house cuz it was just a huge yellow monster of a thing but i loved it there were some many places to hide and on easter the adults would hide the easter eggs and make the kids wait in the house. then we would all run out side and they would be snapping pictures of us and helping the little ones and the older cousins would point out were some of the better hidden ones were . after that fun the kids would play and buttons(the dog) would get a hold of an egg no matter how hard nanny and papa tried to stop him. sumtimes us kids would be able to convince the adults in to taking us fishing at the lake which was right across the street or if cowboy (thats wat we called their next door neighbor ) happend to come out id wonder over there and give him a hug knowing that he had some change and advice togive me the ladder of which became more valueble as i got older. then on easter sunday we would go to my cousin kellys house and have easter with my moms side of the family we would hunt eggs and jump on their trampoling and my cousin always made a cake that looked like a bunny still does when we go and it has jelly beans and cocunt , and then theres cookies and sweets of all sorts , plus ham and turkeys carrots stuffing its like thanksgiving on easter , we used to have a water fight to with water ballons and water guns easter was anything but formal with my family. but now i see my moms side less and less and my dads side too. it saddens me .

Hush007

Hey Lilymae,

I hope your dog is doing fine sugah'. I'm so sorry you are having a rough time! You should reconsider your plan to just run away honey. If you are just roaming the streets worse things can happen than your dad. You should plan some stuff. Get help en look for a place where you can stay. Don't just pack up and leave without a strategy girl. Hell! If you would live near me I would take you in for a couple of days until you find a solution,...but that is not the case I guess.

Keep in touch so we know how you are doing and what you are planning.

Big kiss,

Philip

Tazman53

lillymae sorry to hear about your dog, hopefully he will be alright.

What worries me is that what we had warned you about is coming true, physical abuse never gets better until the abuser is gone.

Sadly many times some one winds up getting killed by the abuser before the abuser is removed. The victims of the abuser always seem to think it will get better, they look back at the good old days when things were normal and the abuser was not hitting them.

Keep in mind your cousins that you care so much for, they are going to be the next one getting hit, one day you will wise up and get away from him, but if they are still with him they will be his next victim.

Remember hitting is not love and love is not shown by hitting. Hitting never gets better, some one, some day is going to die unless this man is stopped.

parentrecovers

hello lillymae, thinking about you...blessings, k

Golfman

Lilymae,

Your sadness has not gone unnoticed. God see's you and crys the tears with you. No God rant here though. Just wanted to say you definitely are not alone. Holidays of any kind can bring up sadness and memories of the way things used to be. I sometimes remember how happy I was during the holidays and experience sadness for the day gone by.

One happy note though, you are talking about it. Bringing your sadness out in the open has a tendency to disarm it a little. Can't say it takes all the pain away, but does help. I know what you need right now is just a hug of reassurance. Though none of us can give you the real thing. I think we can all collectively give you a cyberhug.

Lilymae, you are soooooooooo worth the love you desire. You are loved by us, which may be a small consolation, but at least you know we're here. Know also that many are praying for you. Yes you!!!!! I have enough in God to know that he hears my prayers and answers them.

Don't know what your stand is on AA, but if you are willing to take a very small leap of faith, go to any meeting and share what you've shared with us. I know you'll get some reals hug then. Hang in there, a drink would solve nothing by the delay of feelings that will be there anyway.



Yours in sobriety,
Ed